UPJOKE
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What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can’t hear an enzyme. (Credit to Dorothy Parker.)

What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't go downtown and pay $80/hour to make an en zyme

I wish I was a helicase enzyme...

...because then I could unzip your genes

How are teenaged boys like the enzyme helicase?

They both want to unzip your genes!



credit goes to Hank from CrashCourse on Youtube :)

Whats the difference between enzymes and hormones?

I've never made an en zyme.

In the early 1970s, researchers discovered that a certain enzyme in a specific breed of seagull chicks granted dolphins that ate them a dramatically increased lifespan…

Hoping that this could be made viable for humans, they started extensive testing.

Unfortunately, the breed of gulls wasn't native to the area around their laboratory.

They sent a research assistant up the coast to gather additional specimens.

On his way back with a truckload o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

No chemistry

An enzyme asks a tall, cool glass of milk out on a date. The enzyme takes the milk out to a fancy steakhouse and later to an ice cream shop for dessert. At the end of the night, the enzyme asks, "So, you wanna come up to my place for some coffee?" The milk says, "Sorry, this isn't what I'm looking f...

I was surprised to learn the most common method of suicide in France was throwing a toaster in a bathtub filled with cheese enzymes.

It was quite a culture shock.

Two men walked into a bar...

....The first man said “Can I have some H2O please.” The second man said “I’ll have some H2O2 please.”

The second man died.

Edit: It’s a chemistry joke.

Edit 2: H2O2 is hydrogen dioxide and kills you even though your body produces it for no reason and then produces an enzyme t...

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