What's the difference between Capitalism & Socialism?

With Capitalism, man exploits man.

And it's the opposite with Socialism.

In a capitalistic society, Man exploits Man, but in a communistic society...

It's the other way around.

Where do Russian Hackers store their exploits?

/ussr/bin/

I'd like to think that my girlfriend and I have a relationship that is above being forced to buy simple gifts as part of a made up holiday that exploits working class people through the commercialism of enormous corporations

But I'd also like to get laid tomorrow night, so Walgreens after work it is.

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Three porn stars were getting drunk

And they started bragging to each other about their exploits


Porn star 1 said: “Girls, I’m easily the biggest whore in this bar. One time I fucked a soccer team. The whole team! Including the towel boy. And I did it by sneaking into the locker room, getting naked, and then just waiting fo...

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A guy is walking past a house...

That house has a sign on it saying: Free Talking Dog! He stops, wondering what this is all about and notices an old guy sitting on the porch in a rocking chair. The guy says, "Hey, What's up with the talking dog?" The old guys answers, "He's yours if you want him." The guy scratches his head, thinki...

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Military Joke

An Army Ranger, a Recon Marine, a Navy SEAL, and a member of Delta Force are sitting around a camp fire. The Army Ranger, bragging about his exploits says "You guys aren't so tough, I once parachuted down, marched fifty miles, and killed everyone in sight." The Recon Marine is unimpressed, and says,...

Soviet joke

In capitalism, man exploits man. In glorious Russia workers state, is other way around.

An engineer quit his job and decided to open a clinic...

He hung a sign saying," I will cure your illness for $500 otherwise, if I fail to cure it, I will pay you $1500."

A doctor was curious and assumed that he could easily exploit this, so he walked into the clinic and told the engineer,“ I have lost my taste."

Upon hearing this, the engin...

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Two teenage sisters are chatting together

The older one is very sexually promiscuous, and loves to tease the younger, shyer, more inexperienced one by telling stories of her and her boyfriend's exploits in bed. Only this time, the younger girl surprises her sister by telling her that she thinks she's in love.

"Who with? Some movie s...

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[LONG]ish A man's trimming his hedges as the postman walks by...

He gives a friendly hello and then realises this is the perfect moment to ask a question that's been bugging him for some time.

"Is it true what they say, that you lot sleep with the housewives whilst the husbands are at work?"

"Ha! It is indeed. I've had every woman on this street, e...

Tax.

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to £100...
If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this...

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay £1.
The sixth would pay £3.
The se...

An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are trapped underground in a collapsed mine.

After some exploring of the area, they come across three rations of canned food that they all agree will allow them to survive for a few more days. Naturally, they all decide that each of them should have one of the three cans of food; unfortunately, none of them possess anything with which to open...

3 doctors boasting...

3 doctors are sitting down with a drink boasting about their exploits. The first doctor says: "I once I got a guy who had an accident in the shop. The whole arm ripped off. I sewed everything back tight. The guy was stronger than ever. He now pitches in the Major League."

Not to be out...

What do females and capitalists have in common?

They both exploit the labour of men.

Doctor sets up a clinic

A doctor sets up a clinic and advertises that he can fix whatever problem you have for $500; but if he can't fix the problem he will pay you $1000. A man sees his ad and thinks that this is ridiculous, so he tries to exploit the doctor. He goes into the office and says "I can't taste anything". The ...

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Italy, year VI of the Fascist Era.

A very very poor farmer is desperate. He doesn't have food, money or clothes for his children. He's so desperate that he decides to write a letter to God, asking for 500 lire (Italian money).

So he takes a pen and some paper, writes the request, and encloses it in an envelope. Now he has to ...

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A tribute to the holiday season

Up until a few years ago, I would frequent a local chess club for shits and giggles. I wasn't very good at chess, but most of the people there were very into the game, knew all of the big names, went to a lot of big events, and some of them even got prize money from time to time.

Shortly befo...