I walked in the lounge to find my wife breastfeeding our son.

“How long do you have to do that for?” I asked. “When is he too old for it?”

“Well, it’s a physical bond between a mother and her child isn’t it? It’s only the society that deems it unacceptable above a certain age.”

“Yeah, shut up Joe – I was talking to your mother.”

My only problem with women breastfeeding in public is...

..they never wink back.

A mother is breastfeeding her baby on a plane

The captain comes on and says "we're ready for takeoff." The mother wraps her child and herself up. The plane takes off and the mother opens up and begins to breastfeed her child again. Her seatmate turns to her and says "You must have a hungry child." The mother answers "No, I just feed him to ...

Breastfeeding a baby

A man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when a gorgeous woman next to him started to breastfeed her baby.

The baby wouldn't take it, so she said: "Come on, drink it or ... I'll have to give it to this nice man here."

Five minutes later, the baby was still not feeding, so she ...

I don't mind women breastfeeding in public...

But I hate it when they get offended when I wink at them and ask for a taste.

A woman was breastfeeding in the bus the other day

...And suddenly, this old lady gets up and starts screaming "you can't do that here, have you no shame? in front of everyone???".

Everybody turns around, the old lady keeps screaming, the woman with her baby stands here mortified...

...I had to pull my pants back up and get off the bus...

(My first dad joke) Wife was breastfeeding

Her: the baby sure is taking his time getting his meal in

Me: yeah he is really milking it

Breastfeeding in public is natural.

And it strengthens the bond between me and my dog.

Man spreading is a lot like breastfeeding in public....

We’re all just trying to take care of our kids.

I think breastfeeding in public should be encouraged

There are a lot of hungry homeless people.

There was a woman breastfeeding in the park.

Fascinated, I walked over and said, "I hope you don't mind me being curious, but what's it like?"

"Oh," she said, "it's a bit uncomfortable if I'm honest."

I said, "I was talking to the baby."

There was a woman breastfeeding her child next to me.

I looked at her and said, "Do you never feel like perverts are giving you weird looks when you do that in public?"

She smiled, and said, "Oh no, not really."

I said, "Phew."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are smaller breasts better for breastfeeding?

They're more of a kids meal.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The young woman sitting next to me on the train today was breastfeeding her baby...

An officer came up to us and said, "Please stop doing this here, or we're going to have to ask you to leave."

So I sighed, stopped masturbating and pulled my pants back up.

Today I kicked a breastfeeding mom out of my restaurant

Not because other customers thought she was indecent, but because we have a no outside food or drinks policy

Breastfeeding in public.

This hating of people that breastfeed in public should really stop. I can raise my cat any way I want to.

What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding?

Thanks for the mammaries!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On the bus today, I saw an attractive young woman breastfeeding

Suddenly an old woman started shouting, "you shouldn't be doing that in public, that's disgusting!!!".

A part of me wanted to scold the old woman, but another part of me thinks...

"Maybe I shouldn't have been masturbating on a bus..."

A mom is breastfeeding her baby twins.

One day, one of the twins realized that there is more milk coming from the breast where his twin sibling is feeding on. Because of extreme jealousy, he put poison on that specific breast while everyone is asleep.

The next day, the twins' uncle died.

People who say me breastfeeding in public is 'inappropriate'

...should grow up. It strengths the relationship between me and my dog.

My wife finished breastfeeding our son so I threw out her old breast pump

I'll miss that thing. We shared some good mammaries together.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman was breastfeeding on the bus today

Suddenly, an old lady started yelling "how dare you do this in public!!", she kept on screaming and screaming, like "that's disgusting", "what a disgrace" etc...

In hindsight, it probably wasn't the time or place for a wank.

The baby wasn't very good at transitioning out of breastfeeding

I guess you could say he sucked at tit

A mother and a baby is in a train

The mother is breastfeeding the baby, but he suddenly stop and cries.

In an attempt to calm her baby, she said "shhh, be quiet, do you want me to give this milk to the uncle over there?" while showing the baby a man that sits in front of them.

The baby then stop crying and go back to d...

Was on the bus earlier today

And got caught staring at this beautiful woman whilst breastfeeding a baby.

She looked me right in the eye and said “you’re a weirdo!”

I asked “why, because I’m staring?”

She said “no, because you’re trying to breastfeed a baby!”

What do you call it when you're breastfeeding and nothing comes out?

A milk dud.

Strange lady

A waiter noticed a woman stuffing bits of food down her shirt.  He thought it was rather strange, but he figured that since it's her food she could do what she wanted with it.

But after a while the waiter noticed that the woman's behavior was making some of the other patrons uncomfortable. So...

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