A woman is breastfeeding on the bus but struggling to get her baby to suckle....

So she says to her baby

_"Eat up now or I'm going to give it to that nice man over there"_ and points at the man sitting across from her

10 mins later _"You have to eat, baby, or I will give to that man!"_

5 mins later _"Baby come on now, I can't waste this milk so you have to ...

A woman was breastfeeding in the bus the other day

...And suddenly, this old lady gets up and starts screaming "you can't do that here, have you no shame? in front of everyone???".

Everybody turns around, the old lady keeps screaming, the woman with her baby stands here mortified...

...I had to pull my pants back up and get off the bus...

Breastfeeding a baby

A man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when a gorgeous woman next to him started to breastfeed her baby.

The baby wouldn't take it, so she said: "Come on, drink it or ... I'll have to give it to this nice man here."

Five minutes later, the baby was still not feeding, so she ...

Breastfeeding in public is natural.

And it strengthens the bond between me and my dog.

Alright ladies, we all know it's Breastfeeding Awareness week.

There's no need to milk it.

(My first dad joke) Wife was breastfeeding

Her: the baby sure is taking his time getting his meal in

Me: yeah he is really milking it

Edit: wow this blew up!
thanks for the gold!!!

Can you stop staring at my gf when she's breastfeeding at the mall????

When I'm thirsty I'm thirsty.

A mother is breastfeeding her baby on a plane

The captain comes on and says "we're ready for takeoff." The mother wraps her child and herself up. The plane takes off and the mother opens up and begins to breastfeed her child again. Her seatmate turns to her and says "You must have a hungry child." The mother answers "No, I just feed him to ...

My only problem with women breastfeeding in public is...

..they never wink back.

I don't mind women breastfeeding in public...

But I hate it when they get offended when I wink at them and ask for a taste.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are smaller breasts better for breastfeeding?

They're more of a kids meal.

There was a woman breastfeeding in the park.

Fascinated, I walked over and said, "I hope you don't mind me being curious, but what's it like?"

"Oh," she said, "it's a bit uncomfortable if I'm honest."

I said, "I was talking to the baby."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On the bus today, I saw an attractive young woman breastfeeding

Suddenly an old woman started shouting, "you shouldn't be doing that in public, that's disgusting!!!".

A part of me wanted to scold the old woman, but another part of me thinks...

"Maybe I shouldn't have been masturbating on a bus..."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The young woman sitting next to me on the train today was breastfeeding her baby...

An officer came up to us and said, "Please stop doing this here, or we're going to have to ask you to leave."

So I sighed, stopped masturbating and pulled my pants back up.

Breastfeeding in public.

This hating of people that breastfeed in public should really stop. I can raise my cat any way I want to.

Today I kicked a breastfeeding mom out of my restaurant

Not because other customers thought she was indecent, but because we have a no outside food or drinks policy

There was a woman breastfeeding her child next to me.

I looked at her and said, "Do you never feel like perverts are giving you weird looks when you do that in public?"

She smiled, and said, "Oh no, not really."

I said, "Phew."

What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding?

Thanks for the mammaries!

A mom is breastfeeding her baby twins.

One day, one of the twins realized that there is more milk coming from the breast where his twin sibling is feeding on. Because of extreme jealousy, he put poison on that specific breast while everyone is asleep.

The next day, the twins' uncle died.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman was breastfeeding on the bus today

Suddenly, an old lady started yelling "how dare you do this in public!!", she kept on screaming and screaming, like "that's disgusting", "what a disgrace" etc...

In hindsight, it probably wasn't the time or place for a wank.

I think breastfeeding in public should be encouraged

There are a lot of hungry homeless people.

My wife finished breastfeeding our son so I threw out her old breast pump

I'll miss that thing. We shared some good mammaries together.

People who say me breastfeeding in public is 'inappropriate'

...should grow up. It strengths the relationship between me and my dog.

The baby wasn't very good at transitioning out of breastfeeding

I guess you could say he sucked at tit

What do you call it when you're breastfeeding and nothing comes out?

A milk dud.

"Can I have a sip of that?"



"Because I am breastfeeding"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Excuse me," I said to the woman that was breastfeeding her child.

"There's a toilet on this train." I suggested.

She said, "What I am doing is perfectly normal, I shouldn't have to hide myself."

I said, "I know, I just want to see your tits closer up."

A mother and a baby is in a train

The mother is breastfeeding the baby, but he suddenly stop and cries.

In an attempt to calm her baby, she said "shhh, be quiet, do you want me to give this milk to the uncle over there?" while showing the baby a man that sits in front of them.

The baby then stop crying and go back to d...

Strange lady

A waiter noticed a woman stuffing bits of food down her shirt.  He thought it was rather strange, but he figured that since it's her food she could do what she wanted with it.

But after a while the waiter noticed that the woman's behavior was making some of the other patrons uncomfortable. So...

A mother has two babies, and she breastfeed them everyday

During breastfeeding, each baby would suckle on one of her nipples.

One day, one of the baby came up with a scheme to murder his brother, thinking that he would get more milk to himself that way. So, he secretly applied poison to the his brother's "nipple".

Little did he know, his br...

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