I wished everyone a Happy Memorial Day..

None of them responded

The new backyard grill I got for Memorial Day weekend is actually assembled in America...

The box of components are imported, but I had to put it together myself in my garage.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rich Yorkshire man is mourning the loss of his dog

He decides to memorialize it by getting a cast made of it. He goes to a jewelers and asks for a gold statue making of its likeness. The jeweler asks, "Do you want it 18 karat?" He replies, "No, I want it chewin a bone, you daft cunt!"

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof!

A bachelor named Steve who lived at home with his mother and pet cat went on a trip to Europe. Before he left, he told his best friend to inform him of any emergencies. A few days after his departure, his cat climbed up on the roof, fell off and was killed. His friend immediately wired him with the ...

In reminiscence of the Tiananmen Square protests, China is introducing a new memorial day:

Happy Tanksgiving!

A man has died, and his friends and family are gathered together in a small church for his memorial service...

As the service nears its conclusion, a man rises up from his seat on a pew in the very back row and begins to shuffle towards the pulpit, where the preacher is concluding his remarks and the widow of the deceased stands by weeping.

The man makes his way up to the very front of the congregatio...

My memorial service for all the trees burnt down in the Amazon Rainforest didn't have any female attendees

It was full of guys mourning wood.

A calm, respected woman walks into a Pharmacy

As she walks in, she goes right up to the pharmacist, looks him straight into his eyes and said;

"I would like to buy some cyanide,"

The pharmacist asked her:

"why in the world do you need cyanide?"

She said:

"I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmaci...

Any tips / ideas on what to do for memorial day?

I forgot what to do

What's the best part about having Memorial Day off?

3 straight days without a school shooting.

Memorial service

I was at my friends memorial service and after a few wonderful eulogies the minister asked would anybody else like to say something.

I was itching to say something so I rose and asked whats the wi-fi password at this place.

The shocked minister replied - Sir! Have you no shame?

...

How do you get Donald Trump to visit a memorial in the rain?

Tell him the forecasts predict golden showers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ted Cruz left the Navy 9/11 memorial service early...

He only had time to meet a handful of semen.

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