What do you call a Christmas wreath made out of $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins

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Walking home after a girls' night out, two women pass a graveyard and stop to pee.

The first woman has nothing to wipe with, so she uses her underwear and tosses it. Her friend, however, finds a ribbon on a wreath, so she uses that.

The next day, the first woman's husband phones the second woman's husband, furious: "My wife came home last night without her panties!"
...

My friend Jack drowned, so at the funeral we got a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt.

It's what he would've wanted.

Two women discuss their husband's...

"My Herbert snores so loud I just can't sleep. I don't know what to do.."
Her friend says, "well I don't know if helps but when our dog snores we tie some laurel around his tail"

It's morning, Herbert wakes up, completely hang over, looks down, sees the laurel wreath down there, calls his ...

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Two wives have a night out

They decide to walk home, but on the way both have a desperate need to pee.
They nip into a cemetery, do the deed and realise they have nothing to wipe themselves with.
So one uses her underwear and the other grabs a wreath and uses that.
Next day there husbands are talking on the phone, vo...

The heart shaped wreath at the funeral of a a cardiologist

makes one wonder for the funeral of a gynaecologist.

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2 middle aged women go out on the town for a girls night out

At the end of the night, they both have been drinking so much that they decide to walk home. Halfway home, they both have to piss pretty badly. Nothing is open at 3AM, so they duck into a graveyard they’re passing by to squat behind a couple of tombstones. They both realize that they have nothing to...

Husband and wife are putting up Holiday decorations

when husband offers to hang the wreath. “But sweetums, you are inept and you have no tools,” says the wife. Husband shrugs and goes to Lowe’s to buy a hammer. He walks past a display for the new, Elf Steam Multi-Tool. The marketing was brilliant and it had a drill, three saws, and a sander - all wor...

What do you call a family tree in Alabama?

A family wreath.

What kind of wreaths do fish hang on their doors?

Coral wreaths.

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Ladies night out...

So, two ladies ditch their husbands for a ladies night out on a Friday night and they go do whatever middle-aged women think is cool to do on a Friday night. One thing leads to another and these two ladies have drunk a little bit too much and decide to head home and sleep it off. So they're driving ...

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Two girls are walking home after a night out…

Both of them are busting to go to the toilet so they decide to go in the cemetery. One wipes with her panties then throws them away, the other wipes with a wreath of flowers off one of the graves.
The next day their husbands are talking at work….
"I'm gonna have to start keeping an e...

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Two women go on a night out...

Two women, Mary and Margaret, go on a night out, leaving their husbands at home. After a heavy night of Guinness, and while walking home through a large cemetery they both have a strong urge to relieve themselves. They each pop a squat behind a bush, and after doing the deed Mary calls over "psssst,...

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When you gotta pee . . .

Two women go out one Friday night without their husbands. As they head back home, right before dawn, both of them drunk, they felt the urge to pee. The only place to stop was a cemetery. Scared and drunk, they stopped and decided to go there anyway.

The first one did not have anything to cl...

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3 women are out on the town for a girl's night.

After 3 hours at the local bar, they are all completely hammered and finding a cab was difficult, so they all decided to walk home. After about 20 minutes they had to piss but no place was open as it was past 3AM however they found a cemetery that was discreet for them all to urinate. The First woma...

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Two women got pissed drunk and...

And on the way back they were walking through the cemetery and they wanted to take a piss.

One of them took a piss, wiped herself with her underwear and threw them out.

The other wiped it with a wreath. The next morning one of the husbands call the other and he said we can’t let them g...

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Ladies.....

Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out.
Both were very faithful and loving wives.
However, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk, and walking home, they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.

One of them had nothing to wipe wi...

Quite possibly my worst made up joke of all time

Since ancient times, magic practices in Hawaii have depended on placing flower wreaths along specific paths around the island.

They rely on these lei-lines.

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Two married men agree; no more ladies' nights.

On their way home from a great ladies night out, two married women have the sudden urge to tinkle. There are no restaurants or shops nearby, so the women run into a nearby cemetery and pee behind some headstones. One of the women uses her panties to wipe while the other grabs a nearby flower wreath....

I knew someone who died in a skydiving accident.

Their funeral wreath was in the shape of a parachute.

After all, that's what they would've wanted.

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Two married women have a girls night out...

Once a month they go out drinking while they’re husbands watch the kids. After one particularly crazy night they were on their way home when they both had to pee. They pulled over at a local graveyard and decided that spot was as good as any. Woman #1 decided that in order to keep from making a mess...

A man is tasked with setting out Christmas decorations on a submarine

He spends all night thinking about it, and eventually decides on a Christmas tree. He spends hours putting the tree up, adding tinsel, baubles, and finally the star on top. He takes a step back, and looks proudly at his work. But when he comes back to it later, he finds it torn down.

The next...

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