This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Having too much sex can cause memory loss!

I read it on page 34, line 15 in a medical journal on may 23, 2009 at 11:58 AM .

My dad suffers from short term memory loss...

I hope it doesn't run in the family because my dad has it too.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do people with small dicks have a bad memory

I forgot

I was gonna make a joke about memory loss

I think

How can you tell if someone has short term memory loss?

How can you tell if someone has short term memory loss?

I recently told my mom that I have a very bad memory.

Or did I?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I was 13 a genie offered me either a great memory or a huge penis

Can't remember what I picked

What do we want? - Better memory!!

When do we want it? - Want what??

Welcome to the Mental Health Hotline.

*If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.*

*If You have Ocd, Push The numbers 1, 2, 3, 7*

*If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you.*

*If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.*

*If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what ...

I dedicate this in loving memory of all those dads who never quit

And a quick disclaimer that smoking is injurious to health...

Shout out to my dad who went to get a pack of cigarettes and never returned

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chronic masturbation can cause memory attacks and loss of ire.

Or something like that, why don't you go fuck yourself?

One good thing about getting old and losing memory.

I can hide my own Easter eggs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This is the dirty joke my 85yo grandad told to our whole family by memory

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same...

Cucumbers are very good for the memory.

15 year ago my uncle put one in my ass.

I still remember it.

Using marijuana can cause memory loss.

Or even worse, memory loss

The best thing about having a bad memory is you can never remember why you're sad.

It's a little sad to be honest.

Memory is the second thing to go

Don't ask me the first, I forgot

(Reworded a bit but got this from a teacher)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was given a choice at birth I could either have a large penis or a good memory

I don’t remember which one I picked

What's the name of that addictive thing that affects my short-term memory? I use it all the time, but can't remember what's it's called...

*Googles* ... "Oh yeah! The internet!"

I used to work as a coast guard. There's one rescue mission that sticks in my memory.

A ship carrying a huge haul of industrial strength glue got into trouble just off the coast where I was stationed.

The weather was the worst I'd seen it, and one of the containers of glue had fallen from height and smashed into the hull, covering a number of the crew members in glue and knoc...

My earliest memory of my mother is playing hide and seek with her, I would be sat peering out of the oven window and she would say...

"Your getting warmer"...

An old couple noticed that their memory had been deteriorating...

They went to the doctor’s office to check out the issue. The doctor suggested that they write down what they wanted to remember on sticky notes.

Later, when they got home, the wife asked her husband for a bowl of cereal. The husband said, “Right on it, darling!”

The wife asked, “Shoul...

An elderly man and his wife are losing their memory

An elderly man and his wife are losing their memory. Fearful that they may be developing early signs of dementia, Alzheimers, or the like, they speed off to their doctor. The doctor gives them a thorough examination and says, "Honestly, you are both in great shape and should take pride in your physi...

Memory Test

Three elderly men are at the doctor's office for a memory test. The doctor asks the first man, "What is three times three?"

The man thought for a moment and answered, "274."

The doctor rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, and says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is thre...

Memory foam pillows are the worst.

As soon as I lay down on them, I start remembering all the things I messed up during the day.

What do you call a show about two cokeheads with short term memory loss?

Whose Line Is It Anyway?

A Chinese Doctor can't find a job in a Hospital in the US, so he opens his own clinic and puts a sign outside 'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.'

An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.
Lawyer: 'I have lost my sense of taste.'
Chinese: 'Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth.'
Lawyer: 'Ugh. this is kerosene.'
Chinese: 'Congrats, your s...

Memory problems are no joke

Because you forget the punchline

What kind of jokes do people with short-term memory loss tell?

What kind of jokes do people with short-term memory loss tell?

I have the memory of an elephant.

I remember one time I went to the zoo and saw an elephant.

I’m known for two things, my incredible memory

... and I forgot the other thing.

If everyone had the memory of a goldfish.

I forgot where I was going with this.....

What's the worst part about having a good memory?

Your circumcision.

An Elephant's Memory

While on holiday in Kenya and walking through the bush a man comes across an elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seems distressed so the man approaches very carefully. He gets down on one knee and inspects the bottom of the elephant's foot only to find a large thorn deeply...

Memory Problems

An old husband and his wife were sitting in a doctor’s office to get help for their failing memory. “Maybe you should each do something special for for the other and then talk about it. That way, it will help cement it better in your minds.” The old couple thanked the doctor and went home.

Wh...

I have the memory of a wooly mammoth

It's like an elephant's, but a little fuzzy

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In memory of the late George Carlin

Catholics hate abortions.

Catholics hate homosexuals.

But who has less abortions than homosexuals?

I have a memory from before I was even born....

I remember I went to the park with my dad, then went home with my mom.

My earliest childhood memory is going to the eye doctor when I was 8.

Life before that is a blur.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Remember, regular sex keeps the mind active and the memory in tip-top condition.

I wish everyone a happy 2016!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I was 10, a genie gave me two choices: either your dick grows to be massive, or you will have an amazing memory for the rest of your life.

And for the life of me, I can't remember what I chose...

My Memory is like a Goldfish.

Like a Goldfish, all my memories start with water in front of my eyes.
Just some aqueous humor for you guys.

A motherboard went on a date with a processor

- they didn't read each other's BIOS and found out out they weren't compatible so they just got drunk.

As the night progressed they tried to figure out a way to make it work. Finally the processor convinced the motherboard to come back to his place and see what would happen.

But then...

My friend said he had a really good memory. I didn’t believe him and told him to prove it.

He told me about a time when he was 6 and wanted an N64 for christmas. On christmas morning he found an N64 and 3 games under the tree and was overjoyed.

I guess I was wrong. It was a pretty good memory.

Patient: Doctor, I need your help! I've lost my memory!

Doctor : When did it happen?

Patient : When did what happen?

I think I got my terrible memory from my dad

It makes sense, considering he completely forgot to be there for me.

A man went to the doctor complaining about memory loss.

\-And when did this start? Asked the doctor.

\-When did what start? Replied the man.

as my long term memory has improved, my short term memory has gotten worse.

as my long term memory has improved, my short term memory has gotten worse.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] If you woke up in the forest, naked, with a sore ass and no memory of the night before, would you tell anyone?

No???

Wanna go camping?

How much memory does it take to store a joke?

1 Gigglebyte.

Women have such a great memory

They remember things that never happened

9/10 people have bad memory

But 9/11 people never forget.

"Dad, what's it like having perfect memory?" The boy asked."

"I don't remember."

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory.

Just one byte. And then everything crashed

Indian Memory man

Once a man was traveling through the west on vacation, when he saw a sign that said, "Meet the Indian Who Never Forgets, Next Exit". Well, being curious, the man stops at the attraction to see the Indian. He asks the man, "What did you have for breakfast on June 9, 1978?" The Indian replies "Eggs!"<...

An elderly couple started losing their memory.

They went to the doctor together to look into it. “Your memory loss is pretty bad. I’ll give you some medication for now, but in the meantime I suggest to start writing things down when you need to remember them”.

The couple reluctantly took the medication and went home, refusing to accept th...

I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB

That was a trip down memory lane

An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories.

so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to remember things by association. A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking with his neighbor about how much the class helped him. "What was the name of the Instructor?" asked the neighbor. "Oh, ummmm, let's see,"...

My ex girlfriend recently claimed she had a great memory

She was definitely lying because it didn't take her long to forget me

Studies have shown that smoking weed causes short term memory loss.

Next thing you know they'll be saying smoking weed causes short term memory loss.

When I was drinking my coffee, I heard on the radio that caffeine causes memory loss.

Yeah, right. Next time, they're probably gonna say that caffeine causes memory loss.

Age and Memory

An elderly couple just got remarried after 75 years of marriage. They look happy and the old man still calls her "Honey, Darling, and Love."

I asked him why is that so. He replied, "I forgot her name 10 years ago and I'm scared to ask her."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I reached puberty an angel approached me and asked me if I wanted the gift of a strong, lasting memory or a big penis.

To this day, I can't remember which one I chose.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People say smoking weed affects the memory.

Well that's a load of shit, I never forget to smoke.

I bought a book about improving memory

When I put it on my bookshelf, I saw three same books there.

I may not have a good memory

But at least I make up for it by having a good memory

“We’ve divided the population as you’ve requested, Mr. President,” announced the assistant from the doorway, “so we’re just waiting on your final approval for the memory wipe.”

“Wipe the memory of groups 1-8,” replied the president, “leave group 9 alone but wipe group 10 too.”

“Sir? You want us to wipe groups 1 through 8 and then 10, but not 9? Group 9 refers to... children born between 1990 and 1999, why should they be left with their memories?”

The presiden...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Today an old lady with strange powers asked if I wanted great memory or a massive penis

I just wish I remembered which one I chose.

Favorite highschool memory

Leaving

Memory

A tourist was introduced to an Indian in New Mexico, who was said to have a perfect memory. Skeptically, the tourist asked, "What did you have for breakfast on September 10, 1943?"

The Indian answered, "Eggs."

The man scoffed, "Everyone eats eggs for breakfast. He's a phony. "

T...

I have the memory of a goldfish

And a Nobel prize for inventing the device that could extract it.

We, men, do have good memory..

A couple were Christmas shopping. The shopping center was packed , and as the wife walked through one of the malls she was surprised when she looked around to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen.

She was quite upset because they had a lot to do and she became so worried that she cal...

What's your favourite childhood memory?

Not paying bills.

My mom suffers from short-term memory loss

I hope it's nothing genetic because I'm worried since my mom suffers from short-term memory loss

I wish I had photographic memory

but it never developed

R/Jokes is like a memory test

I try to guess if I remember the punchline from earlier, before I open the details.

I have really bad memory

I'm never buying computer parts from Walmart again

My memory is so bad,

I plan my own surprise parties.

Yo mama's so fat

when she sat on a memory foam it forgot

In memory of my father, who died of blood loss because sadly no one could figure out his blood type.

As I stood beside him it was incredibly moving to hear him repeat, over and over, these inspirational last words: "Be positive, son! Be positive!"

Father, I don't know if you can hear me, but if you do, just know I will always remember to be positive.

My memory foam mattress broke yesterday...

It has amnesia

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I met a fairy today. She gave me the choice between a huge penis or a great memory...

I can’t remember what happened next though.

I have a Photographic memory

Unfortunately it's digital and it didn't come with a memory card.

I accidentally washed my cameras memory card.

Thankfully it still works but now all my images are watermarked.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.