What's an ancient pyramids builders favourite band?

The rolling stones

Pyramids were not the tallest structures in Egypt...

They were just medium height, between the Pyrahighs, and Pyralows.

How many Egyptians can you fit in a pyramid?

A pharaoh mount.

Why should you never answer an Egyptian telemarketer?

They will try and get you in on their pyramid schemes

Archaeologist digging in a pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in Chocolate and hazelnuts

And believe it to be Pharoaoh Rocher

They say it's a mystery how the pyramids were built

But it seems obvious to me - they probably started at the bottom and worked their way up.

One of the Russian acrobats in our human pyramid has just been deported.

Now we don't have Oleg to stand on.

The pyramids took so long to build because creepers kept on destroying them...

That's why the ancient Egyptians worshipped cats to scare the creepers away.

A friend of mine told me about his plan to sell burial plots to rich Egyptians.

Sounded like a pyramid scheme to me.

How did the pharaoh get so rich?

He was running a huge pyramid scheme.

Who can jump higher than a Pyramid?

Everyone. Because a Pyramid can't jump.

Why is it hard to read the hieroglyphs inside the pyramids?

They are encrypted.

Did you hear the joke about pyramid schemes?

Share this joke 10 times to find out how!

TIL Ancient Egyptian pyramids didn't have doorbells, they had horns instead.

You just used to toot and come in.

I was asked to fit new flooring in an Egyptian pharaohs tomb, they asked me to start at the bottom and work my way up to the top.

It wasn’t quite a pyramid scheme but it was multi level carpeting.

Landed a job a few weeks ago as an archeologist excavating tombs in Egypt. But when I went in for work, they just had me go and recruit more archeologists.

Turns out it was a pyramid scheme

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men are walking through the desert and stumble across a big rock

- Hey, what a weird rock!

- Yes, it looks like a pyramid!

They both dig and discover a huge pyramid.

- Shit! It's a giant pyramid!

- What do we do with this?

- We should notify the American archaeological team. These people are professional and I'm sure they'l...

Just been told I can get rich quick by buying an old Egyptian building.

I think it's a pyramid scheme.

I just found out that Archeologist were recently digging in the Pyramids of Egypt and found a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts.

Experts on site identified the mummy as Pharaoh Roche.

Why did the Egyptians build the pyramids?

To get to the other side.

My friend from Cairo keeps trying to sell me his time share property...

... I think it might be a Pyramid Scheme.

Three young friends, seeking a fortune, adventure together to Egypt where a new pyramid has been discovered

Upon arriving at the pyramid, they are immediately told to leave as the site has already been excavated. The friends, not willing to concede, look for a different way in and find an entrance never before used.

It is through this entrance that they find a secret passage way, one that is made...

A tour guide at Giza was explaining how the Pyramids were 10,002 years old.

Someone in the crowd asked, "That's oddly specific, are you sure of that date."

"Well, yes, quite sure, I was told they were 10,000 years old when I started working here 2 years ago."

What happens if a pyramid commits a crime?

It is put in imPRISMment!

What's the most commonly used type of fraud in Egypt?

Pyramid schemes.

How did the grave robber perish when he became trapped in a pyramid?

He died of asphinxiation!

About 3.000 years ago, lived the Egyptians. In their time, they build the pyramids.

As it should be...
I think, if you're going to build pyramids.
You should do it in your own time.





(Sorry if my English isn't that great, I translated it from my language.)

Three women have to climb a 1000 step pyramid to get to heaven...

A ginger, a brunette, and a blonde have to climb a 1000 step pyramid to get to heaven. At every step, God tells them a joke, and if they laugh, they go to hell.

The ginger goes first, gets to the 156th step, laughs, and gets sent to hell.

The brunette goes second, gets to the 548th ste...

While traveling in Giza, a man said he’d take me on a tour if I paid him $300. I did and then he immediately ran away, never to be seen again.

I’m starting to think I fell for a pyramid scheme.

So there's apparently been over 200, well preserved tibia excavated in the area surrounding the great pyramid in Egypt...

sources say it was a real shin dig.

Did you hear about the blueprints for Giza?

Don’t trust them. All looks like one big pyramid scheme to me.

Did you hear about the ancient Egyptian man that launched a successful stone quarry business?

Turns out it was a pyramid scheme all along.

secret of the pyramid

Three guys heard about a pyramid that had a secret and decided to discover what it was. They decided it was better if they went one at a time.
The first guy walks in the pyramid and sees the weirdest staircase: it goes up three steps, down two steps, up three steps, down two steps, up three steps...

Did you hear about the crack addict that got trapped in a pyramid?

He had to sarcophagi for the drug money

All these people getting emails from the Prince of Nigeria, I got one from an Egyptian Pharaoh...

But it turned out to just be a pyramid scheme.

Have you guys heard about the drastic effects of erosion on the Great Pyramids?

Yeah, they're kinda pointless now.

Who lives in Egypt?

Mommy



\*Credit: my 5 yr old after learning about pyramids at school\*

Mike Tyson in Egypt

So mike Tyson is vacation in Egypt. He is having a great time but slowly begins to run out of things to do. A few days go by and he even grows tired of gawking at the pyramids. He’s searching for something to do! He heads to his local marketplace. There he finds a book on ancient Egyptian hieroglyph...

How do shady Egyptians make money?

Pyramid schemes.

I received a call from a man trying to sell shares in Egyptian property.

Sounded like a pyramid scheme.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[OC, long] There's a new MLM scheme going around getting housewives to bake cookies, cake, and bread.

"Independent Businesses Owners" buy frozen pastries and mixes from the company, bake them in a timeshare commercial kitchen space, and try to sell them at their office, church, kids' activities, public events, and through social media. The typical.

One of my coworkers, Amanda, recently invite...

Why did the financial system collapse in ancient Egypt?

Pyramid schemes.

I was offered the chance to buy some real estate in Egypt's Valley of the Kings

but it turned out to be just a pyramid selling scheme

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My best friend said I'm overly analytical.

At least, I think he's my best friend. Judging by how he's been acting as of late though, I may in fact, be wrong. It's hard to imagine myself without him because, Jesus Christ, he's such a good guy. Honest and everything. But recently I get the impression that he's, I dunno, found people that are b...

Tutankhamen: If you find ten guys to help, I'll cut you in on a slice of the treasure

Slave: This sounds like a pyramid scheme

Tutankhamen: A what?

Aliens suckered humans into making mass temples

It was the first pyramid scheme

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why were the Nazi's so unhealthy?

Instead of a food pyramid, they had a Reichtangle

Why did the mummy go to jail?

They got wrapped up in a pyramid scheme.

You know, I'm really glad Ben Carson didn't end up being Secretary of Education.

I really didn't want our kids learning that the food pyramid was built to store grain.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A scientist, mathematician, and logician are in a car.

A scientist, mathematician, and logician are in the car. They crash and die. The three men appear in heaven on front of St. Peter and Satan. "Gentlemen," Satan began, "Now that Heaven is overcrowded, St. Peter has allowed to limit the amount of people entering. You may ask me a question; if I answer...

Excuse me, are you interested in courses on ancient Egypt?

I promise it's not a pyramid scheme.

How did the Egyptians trick their slaves into working so hard?

With a pyramid scheme.

I started investing in Egyptian tourism

Until I realized it was just a pyramid scheme

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

LPT: Make sure you properly understand job ads.

* Entry level position = We will pay you the lowest wages allowed by law.
* Experience required = We do not know the first thing about any of this.
* Compensation commensurate with experience = You're still not experienced enough so take this low pay.
* Generous benefits = We will give you ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chickens are Illuminati

As of 2011 there is an estimated 19 billion chickens in the world or 3 for every person. What has 3 sides? A triangle. Where can you see triangles? The pyramids. Where are the pyramids? Egypt. What did Egyptians worship? Cats and dogs. Cats and dogs are rivals such as chickens and turkeys. When do p...

Why was Cleopatra angry?

She was on her pyramid.

Stolen from Whose Line Is It Anyway.

A man and his wife are touring Egypt.

While looking at the pyramids, a local merchant calls them over. He offers the man 100 camels in exchange for his wife. The man takes a few minutes, but ultimately refuses the offer and the two go on their way. A bit later the man's wife asks him, "What took you so long to say no?". The man replies,...

My friend tried to sell me a triangular monitor

but I knew it was just a pyramid screen.

A man from Egypt, a man from Paris and a man from Liverpool are all on a hot air balloon ride

The man from Egypt says "we're in Egypt! I can see the beautiful pyramids". A while later the man from Paris says "we're in Paris! I can see the Eiffel Tower from here". Next, the man from Liverpool spoke. He said "we're in Liverpool! I can see someone stealing my car!".

An Italian, an Egyptian and a Greek...

...were fighting over whose ancestors had the most advanced civilization.

The Romans were the most advanced said the Italian. And I'm going to prove it to you. Here's a photograph
from a recent excavation site under the Colloseum. What do you see?

The Egyptian and the Greek after st...

I got a call from Egypt today.

They tried to get me involved in a pyramid scheme.

(Credit to my wife for this one)

When was Cleopatra at her most irritable?

When she was on her pyramid.

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