Little Johnny is walking out after church....

he stops and asks the preacher, "What are all these bricks in the side of the building with names engraved in them?"

The pastor replies, "Those bricks and names are all in remembrance of people who died in the service."

"Oh"' Johnny replies..... "was it the early or late service?"

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

As today Jews worship "Yom Hazikaron laShoah ve-laG'vurah" - "Holocaust and Heroism Remembrance Day" - I am actually thankful that a good number of my friends are Nazis.

The number is zero, and that is indeed a good and proper number.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

In remembrance of my grandfather....

As soon as you sit down on the couch.
"Before you sit down, go get me a drink out of the kitchen."

When you have a rip in the knee of your jeans.
"You dropped your pants."

When he would find me sitting in his chair.
"Who shit in my chair?"

When you farted in his presenc...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

[OC] My therapist asked me what was my earliest erotic remembrance and I told him it was wearing my mother's lingerie when I was a child.

he said it was probably a Freudian slip.

Three Irish fellows would meet at a bar every day after work for a pint of Guinness and a shot of Jameson.

Same time everyday at the same bar. This went on for years and as time went on the bond between these three men grew into something like a brotherhood.

Then one day as they were having their after work drinks, two of the fellows seemed really down. That's when one of the friends announced th...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

The train was quite crowded and a U. S. Marine walked...

The train was quite crowded and a U. S. Marine walked the
entire length looking for a seat.

There seemed to be one
next to a well-dressed French woman, but when he got there,
he saw it was taken by the woman's poodle.

The war-weary
Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have tha...

I'm not saying my wife is stupid

But she thought Remembrance Day was for people with Alzheimer's.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

At the last supper,

Jesus took bread in his hands and said, "This is my body. Eat this in remembrance of me."

Next, Jesus took up a cup of wine. He said, "This is my blood. Drink this in remembrance of me."

Finally, Jesus lifted up a jug of milk and said, "This is my-"

"You can go fuck yourself" sa...

Did you hear that doctors have finally found a cure for alzheimers?

This is so historic that the government has declared this a day of remembrance.


 

This might not get any traction but I just thought of it and made myself chuckle a little.

A bar owner and his dog

There was a bar owner that recently adopted a pet Labrador. The dog instantly became a good friend to the pub regulars and was not long officially made the pub mascot. The mutt became a part of the pub, and everyone who went there was greeted by the licks and unconditional love of the creature.
...

The Last Supper

The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, โ€œThis is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.โ€

In the same way, after supper he took the cup, saying, โ€œThis cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Tom the soldier in the desert.

An army is in the desert for several upcoming months.
The sergeant tells his troops: "Well, I know the climate is harsh and that you won't have a lot of entertainment here as there is no women. But, in case you cannot stand the pressure anymore, you will be allowed to take the camel behind this ...

This may be controversial to most people, but i feel it must be said. I FULLY support flying the rebel flag.

How else are we supposed to show our support and remembrance of the battle of Hoth, and our willingness to topple the empire and bring peace to the galaxy?

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A story about how a man sold a tourist his (literal) shit.

A man shat diarrhea into a bag and was admiring his work when he saw a tourist pass by.

Tourist: Hey what you got there?

Man: This is called hot cellulose

Tourist: Hot cellulose?

Man: Yeah, it makes you remember God, makes you speak the truth and gives you a very long rem...

The Titanic and mayonnaise

What a lot of people don't know about the Titanic was that it was carrying a large shipment of mayonnaise to Mexico. In fact, the Mexican people were overjoyed to be receiving this fine delicacy.

Sadly, as we all know, the Titanic tragically sank, sending its many tons of mayonnaise to the bo...

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