There needs to be an all female Incubus tribute band...

... named Succubus.

In Tribute

Boy: I'll bet you a dollar my dog can talk

Man: you're on

Boy: how does sandpaper feel?

Dog: Ruff!

Boy: what's on top of a house?

Dog: Roof!

Boy: who's the greatest ballplayer ever?

Dog: Ruth!

Man: come on! I ain't payin' for that, get out of h...

I really thought my wife was joking when she said she wanted to see a Monkees tribute band play in Switzerland.

And then I saw her face, now I’m in Geneva...

Just got back from a friends funeral who drowned last week

I got a lot of abuse from the relatives about my floral tribute in the shape a life jacket. But as I told everyone "It's what he would have wanted"

Watch out for a scam phone call.

The caller says, You have won $1.000.000 dollars


or Tickets to an Elvis Presley tribute Concert.


Just press 1 for the money or 2 for the show.

I watched a UB40 tribute band called WD40.

They were a bit rusty at first, but got better as the evening went on.

"Which color is tribute to communism?"

"Red is tribute."

Why is it so hard to find the world's best tribute band?

Because they cover their tracks so well

Frasier Tribute: How Many Lawyers Does it Take to Screw in a Light Bulb?

I don’t know....depends on how many cops planted it there.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My all banjo hip hop tribute act finally found a name...

The Wu-Twang Clan

Many were present at the funeral today of the oldest and unfunniest comedian.

In tribute, the vicar read out one of his jokes, and the congregation had two minutes silence.

To celebrate the launch of the new website we are offering one lucky winner $50 in cash or a meal for 2 at an Elvis Presley tribute.

Just comment '1' for the money or '2' for the show.

A tribute to my late wife

She's still getting ready upstairs and I might leave without her.

I'm starting an all-male cross-dressing dixie chicks tribute band

I'm calling it chicks with dixies

I heard Steve Irwin now has his own tribute sunscreen...

It's supposed to block the rays.

I heard Hillary paid a touching tribute at the 9/11 memorial...

...she collapsed.

Tributes from around the globe are still pouring in after the death of Sir Roger Moore…

The one from Vladimir Putin read: "From Russia, with love."

Tribute joke to Mitch Hedberg. I went to a farm. They told me, “Everything we raise here is organic.”

I hope so! Because I’m not eating a chicken made of rocks.

In a touching tribute to Joan Rivers, Target today announced that it would print funny little anecdotes on all of their shopping bags.

Just so plastic can make us laugh one more time.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I started a heavy metal tribute band with guys from my Macroeconomics class

We are Guns & Butter

An older gentleman orders three shots - one for him, and one for each of his brothers back home in Ireland.

He explains to the bartender "I had to move to America to help my wife care for her in-laws, and I miss my family back home. So I'm having a shot here for my brother Seamus, and another for my brother Michael." He downs the three shots, makes a little more small talk with the bartender, and heads ...

A touching tribute to Hugh Hefner

RIP Hugh Hefner - the man who taught a complete generation how to read a book with one hand!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A tribute to the holiday season

Up until a few years ago, I would frequent a local chess club for shits and giggles. I wasn't very good at chess, but most of the people there were very into the game, knew all of the big names, went to a lot of big events, and some of them even got prize money from time to time.

Shortly befo...

My coworker complained about our David Bowie tribute music recently...

...he complained that after Lemmy's death we didn't have any tribute music. I pointed out that would be slightly inappropriate, as Lemmy wrote about taking drugs and blacking out, whilst David Bowie wrote whilst taking drugs and blacking out.

Want to hear my tribute to Elvis?

Thanks, Elvis.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A 90 year old man wins the Powerball for 400 million dollars..

He arrives at the press conference, accepts his giant check and teary eyed with joy proceeds to take questions from the media storm. First reporter asks "What is your full name?" He replies his name is Ira Mandelbaum. Second reporter asks "What are you going to do now?" Ira replies "First, I am ...

Muslim Band

I went to see a Muslim Tribute band last night at a Mosque.

They were called "Bomb Jovi" and I thought they were brilliant.

They performed songs like:
"Losing my Head over You",
"Rocket Launcher Man",
"You're Six, you're Beautiful, and you're Mine".

Their la...

Yugioh joke

Did you hear about the Kaiba singing tribute act? They were known as the false Setos....

Me: Do you want something to drink?

Me: We've got this new soda called 'Princess Di.' It's a tribute to Princess Diana

Friend: Got anything else?

Me: Just Mountain Dew.

Friend: So those are my only two options?

Me: It's Dew or Di.

The Cardiologist's Funeral

A renowned cardiologist passed away, and all his friends from the same hospital attended his funeral. In order to pay tribute to his profession and his passion, he was buried in a coffin shaped like a heart.

After the service, it was noticed that one of the doctors was smiling. When asked why...

Champ, the much-loved pub mascot.

Ted was the landlord of the Nag's Head pub. Every night, the same guys would turn up, have a few pints of beer, share a conversation and the occasional game of darts or dominoes. At 8pm every night, Ted would receive a visit from one of his other regulars - Champ, a stray dog who always came for a b...

The camping story

A couple of years ago I went out camping in the woods with a few of my friends. It was a dark and stormy night, and we felt very alone in our little tent, so we started telling scary stories.

I described how the hills we were in used to be coal mining country, and the coal mines were dark and...

Beware of a new scam message going around

I just got a text message saying "Congratulations you are the winner of the Elvis tribute competition.

You have a choice of two prizes you can take,
Option 1 is £50.00
Option 2 is for 2 tickets to an Elvis tribute concert

To make your choice
text
1 for the money or 2 for t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2 friends shipwrecked on a desert island.....

....walking around trying to find help they got captured by a tribute living on that island. The chief of tribute , that is against all laughters, says to them:
"well.. I will give you ONE chance to get out from here alive, what you will need to do is: go into the jungle, and bring me back 50 fru...

The inventor of the Oxford Comma has died.

Tributes have been lead by JK Rowling, his wife and the Queen of England.

One day, a man exploring a jungle stumbles upon an ancient village.

One day, a man exploring a jungle stumbles upon a legendary ancient village. The villagers, who to the man's surprise are still alive and well, lavish him with praise. They think he must be a god! But he must first be tested, just to be sure.

So the chief of the village takes him to a row of ...

Every night at the pub...

...the Irishman followed the same ritual. He ordered five shots of whiskey, then held each glass up in a silent toast, and drank them down in turn.

After seeing this for weeks on end, the bartender's curiosity got the best of him, and he said to the Irishman, "I notice you always order five ...

Now I know it's the 100 Aniversary of the Titanic and all...

But aren't the Italians going a little far with their tribute

I was stuck in traffic behind a Mazda SUV this morning...

it wasn't the greatest car in the whole world. It was just a Tribute.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 explorers are ambushed by cannibals...

Fighting valiantly the explorers held their ground longer than expected. Unfortunately they were outnumbered by the cannibalistic tribesman 5 to 1. They were eventually forced to surrender.
Defeated, the explorers were bound together and gagged by the tribesman, who carried off the three men to ...

The Cathedral of San Giovanni

The City-State of San Giovanni is largely forgotten today. In 1571, however, it was a wonderful place to be for both the secular and the spiritual. The was no war for three centuries, the market benefited from its close proximity to the Old Salt Route, and the artist community was vibrant and influe...

They say you can never judge a book by its cover.

But it's the only way to judge a tribute band.

The 30th anniversary of 9/11

It’s the 30th anniversary of the attacks on the World Trade Center, a father and his 12 year old son are walking through New York City, looking at all of the plaques and memorials that signified what happened on that day.

They walk up to the One World Trade Center memorial building and the so...

Why is Chuck Norris still alive?

## Because he's afraid of meeting Bruce Lee on the other side!

Credit: Saw the comment in this [tribute video](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8wL3AA4BP0) [1:55]

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