UPJOKE
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TEACHER: George go to the map and find North America.

George: Here is it!
TEACHER: Correct! now, class, who discovered North America?
Class: George!

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TIL that 1 in every 10 people in North America lives next door to a pedophile.

Not me. I live next door to a smoking hot 8 year old.

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So there are reports of UFO sightings and alien abductions in North America right now

They're only abducting people with large penises. YOU guys don't have anything to worry about but I just wanted to say the spaceship is super cool on the inside.

The weakening and eventual shut down to the AMOC is expected to reduce total precipitation in North America and increase it in Africa.

Hundreds of millions of North Americans experiencing the worst droughts in history will be like "I guess the rain's down in Africa."

Somebody told me there's an invasive species of giant frogs destroying local populations all across North America...

... What a bunch of bull.

What’s the one problem that everyone from Asia, Africa, North America, South America, Antarctica, Europe, and Australia have in common?

Living within continents.

How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.

What’s the difference between North America and Yogurt?

If you leave them alone for 200 years, one of them will develop a culture

“Murder hornets” have arrived in North America...

...I remember when they were killer bees.

My friend asked what my wifes obsession with North America is all about

I'm not sure, but I said Alaska.

What's North America's most famous red wine?

Give back our land!

A collection of humorous anecdotes from the world of education

>TEACHER: Maria, please can you find North America on the map.
>
>MARIA: Here it is.
>
>TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
>
>CLASS: Maria.



>TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? ...

A man throws bears into lakes

A man travels the world, throwing bears into lakes. In Asia, he threw a sun bear into a lake, but all that happened was that the bear became angry. In North America, he threw a grizzly into a lake, and again it was angry. In Europe he threw in a brown bear, and again it was angry. Finally, he went t...

Brain fart

Boss: Does your wife want to go skiing with my wife in North America?

Employee: Alaska?

Boss: Great, the and let me know by Monday.

I used to be the 2nd best boxer in North America...

I boxed in over 100 matches and always came 2nd

Wild Life

A bear, a lion and a bat meet up. The bear says, "If I roar in the forests of North America, the entire forest is shivering with fear." The lion says, "And if I roar on the great plains of Africa, the entire savannah is afraid of me."

"Big deal!'' says the bat. "All I have to do is cough, an...

97.62% of the world's population has accepted climate change as a scientific fact.

The rest of them are in North America.

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In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio

In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.

Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.

“Father, where is the United States,” Hans asked.

His father pointed at a map towards North America.

“Aren’t we cur...

The toilet paper issue reminds me of a joke

When the white man first arrived to North America and set up camp, they weren't sure what to expect for their first winter. So, one man decided to chop a bunch of wood so it would be handy.

After befriending some nearby natives, he asked how cold the winters got. The native said, "Its going t...

I'm so sick of people making fun of the United States

Don't they know we're the third best country in North America?

A scientific study

I recently read a scientific study that was performed to investigate the number of birds being found dead in North America.

The scientists collected the dead bodies to keep accurate amounts of the deceased birds.

After months of collection, the scientists realized that nearly every s...

Personally, I don't get why people complain about American Healthcare

It ranked 3rd in North America

A small quiz

Think of a number between 2 & 5.
Now times it by 9.
Now take the sum of the two numbers in that number(example: 42: 4+2=6).
Now subtract that number by 5.
Next see which letter corresponds with that number(1=a 2=b 3=c and so on).
After that think of a country that is NOT in North ...

Student and Teacher conversations

Teacher: John, give me a sentence starting with " I ".
John: I is...
Teacher: No, John. Always say, "I am."
John: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

Teacher: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
John: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
Teacher: No, that's wrong
John: Mayb...

The Bacon Tree

The year is 1541 and the French have just begun colonization in North America. Young Jean-Luc is in his newly crafted home when suddenly his friend Jean-Pierre bursts through his front door. 'Jean Luc!' he exclaims. 'You weel nevar believe! I 'ave 'eard word of a bacon tree!'. Jean-Luc looks confus...

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I was at a restaurant and someone told me my white explorer was going off

So I went outside and told him to shut the fuck up about how he discovered north america

Kids from around the globe were asked to write an essay...

and the teacher asked, "Please write in your own opinion about the insufficient amount of food in other countries."

But none of the could write it.

The kid from South America didn't know what 'please' was.

The Asian kid didn't know what 'your own opinion' was.

The Europea...

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The Chinese take over the world, and start re-organizing the social structure...

They decide that the best way to do things is to separate everyone by race, and keep all white people in Europe and North America, all Asian people in Asia, all black people in Africa, etc.

Now, of course, the issue is that race isn't such a cut-and-dry thing, so after sorting through the obv...

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Northerners

Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven God went missing for six days. 

Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day, resting. He enquired of God, 'Where have you been?' 

God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, 'What is it?'...

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A Bear and a Rabbit were walking through the woods...

... when they came across a magic lamp. Rather than argue over who would use it, they rubbed it together and out came a magic genie who offered them both three wishes. After a moment deciding amongst themselves, they both agreed to let the Bear go first.

The Bear approached the Genie.

...

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