A biker is riding by the zoo when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries ...

A biker is riding by the zoo when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage, and hits the lio...

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The New York Philharmonic was conducting a rendition of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony

If you are not familiar with Beethoven's 9th Symphony it's a tremendous piece of work, but the bass line is atrocious. Not because it is complicated, but because it goes like this:

**"bbbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"**



And then approximately an hour an a half later it goes li...

During a commercial airline flight an Air Force Pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms.

When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly as possible.

The pilot pretended not to notice and, upon disembarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related items.
When the young mother expres...

The Taxi Driver and the Nun

One Halloween night a taxi driver is driving down the street. On a corner he sees a nun. Being a gallant fellow, he pulls up and offers her a ride. The nun graciously accepts and off they go. After a little bit the driver turns to the nun.

"Forgive me sister," he begins, "but it has always be...

A Pirate Ship is attacked by a similar sized ship

Before the impending battle begins, the captain says to his crew mate, "Bring me me red shirt." The crew fought gallantly, and won. After the battle, the crew mate asks his captain, "Sir, why did you ask for thy red shirt?" The captain responds, "so that way, if I was wounded in battle, the crew wou...

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A man and a woman find themselves alone in a sleeper carriage

The man gallantly takes the upper bunk as they settle down for the train journey.

After a while the man feels a bit cold and asks the woman if she can pass up an extra blanket.

The woman thinks for a while and says in her sexiest voice 'why don't we pretend we are husband and wife for ...

The Queen gets older...

As she grew older, the Queen became rather flatulent. One day, she was receiving foreign ambassadors when she was unable to stop herself from loudly breaking wind. Immediately, the quick-witted French ambassador stepped forward, made an elegant bow and very gallantly said: “I beg Your Majesty’s apol...

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Girl on the beach

A muscular young man was walking along the beach at sunset. The beach was empty save one lovely young woman sitting in a wheelchair.

As the young man drew near, he perceived that the girl was crying.

"Fair lady", he said "why do you sit here on the beach watching this lovely sunset and...

An Australian, a Frenchman and an Englishman are hiking in the amazon.

an Australian, a Frenchman and an Englishman are hiking in the amazon. they are approached by a group of very angry natives who are appalled that the travellers are hacking through their sacred forrest. they subdue the travellers and take them to the chief. the chief says:

"how dare you cut t...

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