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How to make macaroni and cheese

Boil a pot of water, put pasta in water and wait until soft.

Drain water from pasta.

Go into trash can to retrieve box because you forgot how much butter to add

add butter and mix

go back into trash to retrieve box because you forgot how much milk to add

add milk a...

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A guy walks in to a brothel and puts $1000 down on the table. He then says to the madame "I want your ugliest girl and macaroni and cheese."

The madame replies "for that kind of money, you can have one of our finest girls and a three course gourmet meal." The guy replies "Sorry honey, I'm not horny, just home sick."

My daughter called to tell me she saw a man driving a fast car made of macaroni and cheese.

She was doing 80 in a Honda and he was driving pasta.
E: my first (I think) original dad joke. Don’t slaughter me

Why did macaroni and cheese get sober?

They were tired of smoking Kraft.

Wanna hear a joke about Kraft Macaroni and Cheese?

I would tell you but its dangerously cheesy.

Not my joke but my 5 year old sister's

Mom is cooking up some mac and cheese for my little sis and says," Come get your macaroni and cheese."
To which my sister replies," I said I want mac and cheese, NO Caroni!"

My 5yr old sis is smarter than me

Warning.

Don't let them take your forehead temperature at the supermarket, because it erases your memory. I went for macaroni and cheese.

And came home with two cases of beer.

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Little Johnny talks like an adult

This is my sister's favorite joke

\--

One day in Kindergarten...

Mrs Smith: Ok class, today we're going to try and talk like adults. OK? Let's try it. Kevin, what did you have for dinner last night?

Kevin: We ate cheesy macaroony!

Mrs Smith: OK, but let's talk...

Everything is better with cheese

Macaroni? Good.
Macaroni and Cheese? Gouda.

a blind man walks into a restaurant

A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. “I’m sorry, sir, but I am blind and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I’ll smell it and order from there.” A little confused, ...

I recently got a girlfriend who likes to eat healthy.

So, tonight, we’re eating at my place.I went to the store, got some macaroni and cheese, and burnt it. When she got to my house, she tried the burnt meal.

“Are you sure this is healthy?” She asked.

“Of course it is.” I said. “It tastes disgusting.”

...How did you do it?

There was once a train operator who had been driving trains for well over 20 years. Over the course of his career, he had experienced a number of close calls in the accident department. At long last, sadly, he hit a schoolbus full of children on its way out of the elementary school parking lot, kill...

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So a Panda walks into a restaurant...

And the host, thinking this is a little out of the ordinary, asks the panda if he is here to eat.

"Of course." says the panda.

A little ashamed, the host walks the panda to a table and tells him the waiter will be along shortly. Soon enough the waiter comes along and asks the panda wha...

Three little pigs walk into a restaurant

They are seated at a table. After a few minutes to look at the menu, they decide to start with some appetizers. The waiter asks the pigs what they will have.

"I'll start with some chips and salsa," the first pig replies.
"I will begin with some mozzarella sticks," the second pig says. "Wat...

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