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Rigatoni Jokes

A broadway actor that cheated their way to an award - what's their favorite pasta?

Rigatoni

What do you call an American Italian living in Latvia?

Rigatoni

What do you call spaghetti pretending to be rigatoni?

An impasta

What's the best way to make sure the Italian entry wins a Broadway Trophy?

Rigatoni

What sort of pasta do you use if you want to fix a musical theatre award?

Rigatoni

What type of pasta do crooked musical writers like?

Rigatoni

A German, an Italian and a Newfie are sitting on a steel girder...

...hundreds of feet above the ground, having lunch. The German opens up his lunch box and lets out a groan. "Mein Gott!" he says. "Not wiener schnitzel again! I'm so sick of wiener schnitzel, if I ever have to eat wiener schnitzel for lunch again I'm going to throw myself from this girder."

T...

I'm writing an Italian opera about pasta. Hopefully it's successful.

Otherwise I might have to rigatoni.

Anthony, a chef from Latvia, decided to open an Italian restaurant...

He named it Rigatoni's.

What do you call a mobster who’s been dead six hours?

Rigatoni.

How does an Italian win an award in television?

He has to rigatoni

I work as a spy for the US government.

One of my more deadly assignments involved going after a mad scientist in Italy. I was having dinner with one of my contacts over some delicious cheesy rigatoni. Then, out of nowhere, I was hit by a shrink ray and tossed into my food with the sound of evil laughter. Fraught by the perils of steaming...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old Italian man and his three sons...

NSFW (Best if delivered in an eccentric Italian accent with all the gestures)

So this old Italian man has 3 sons, 2 of them quite fat and 1 skinny.

He asks his first son "a-Mario! Why you-a so fat?" Mario says "oh but-a papa, I like-a the linguini!" His papa say "but-a Mario! You take...

A 300 pound Chinese businessman walks into an Italian buffet...

And proceeds to eat nonstop for hours. In a panic the head chef calls up his boss, the big bambino.

The chef says: "Boss! There's a large China man down here wolfin' down all da cannolis! I don't know what to do, and we've replaced the rigatoni 3 god damn times! Should I whack him?!?"
...

A Broadway producer is telling his woes to a bartender...

A Broadway producer is telling his woes to a bartender and is explaining how much money he is losing on his latest play. He knows it's no good but feels if he could get some awards people would start talking about it and wanting to go see it. He just needs to figure out a way to get this play to win...

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