My flirtatious neighbor called me and said that she bought too many zucchinis and ended up making two cheese and zucchini pies. She said I was welcome to come over and take one, and she also had some left over herbs that I could have.

So I went over, and she told she had just finished reading a Cosmo article called "which traffic sign are you?"



"Which traffic sign would your ideal woman be?" she asked me seductively.



I said " Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with I just want your extra t...

Is that a zucchini in your pocket?

Or are you Giuseppe Toussimi?

What’s a Jawa’s favourite vegetable?

Zucchini!

What did the gourd say to the zucchini about their bad relations with a cow.

We gotta squash this beef.

What's the difference between squash and zucchini?

You can't zucchini bugs!

A family-friendly take on the age old "jam VS jelly" joke.

A woman walks into a supermarket

She grabs a zucchini and two limes and goes to pay for them. As the cashier is ringing up her items he comments to her;

"I can tell you're single"

The woman giggles and asks coyly

"Oh what gave that away"

The cashier replies

"Because you're fat"

A guy starts his first day at a bakery...

The boss says, "We're a healthy, whole-food bakery, so we put vegetables in every type of bread that we make." He shows the new guy to the back room, where there are rows of file cabinets with pictures of vegetables on them.

"Here's where we keep the carrot dough," the boss says, opening a fi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old Italian man and his three sons...

NSFW (Best if delivered in an eccentric Italian accent with all the gestures)

So this old Italian man has 3 sons, 2 of them quite fat and 1 skinny.

He asks his first son "a-Mario! Why you-a so fat?" Mario says "oh but-a papa, I like-a the linguini!" His papa say "but-a Mario! You take...

What do vegans wear when going to the pool?

A zucchini.

Three women are sitting at a bar...

And they're bragging about how loose they are. The first one says:

"I could fit an entire zucchini up there!"

The second one says:

"Oh yeah? Well I could fit an entire pineapple up there!"

The third one doesn't say anything and she slides down the stool.

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