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There was a horrible smell coming from my vehicle and I discovered a decaying parsnip in the boot...

I took it to the mechanic and he said it appears to be a carrot

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am over 18

"My boss said he smacked his wife in the face with a parsnip."

My girlfriend said, "That's fucking disgusting."

I said, "Yea, I was always more of a carrot man."

What do you call a brain-dead parsnip?

A vegetable

Did you hear about the vegetarian who didn't want kids?

He got the parsnip.

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