Mediterranean food doesn't agree with me..

I think it's too Greecey

I finally published my book on Mediterranean herbs

It's about thyme

Did you know that Spider-Man has a winter jacket made out of Mediterranean flatbread?

It’s a pita parka.

A ship is navigating along the Mediterranean coastline through some thick fog...

One of the crew members approaches the captain. "Sir I think we made a wrong turn and were heading downriver though Egypt."

"Egypt?" The captain ponders over his charts for a moment before shaking his head "No no, I think were definitely on course"

The crew member shrugs and returns to...

What do you call France without the Mediterranean?

Frane.

What comes out of bacon in Mediterranean?

Greece.

The people on early Mediterranean cities used to enjoy using olive oil as "personal lubricant."

They really loved ancient grease.

Yo mama got so fat

She is now forever banned from hitching a ride to the Mediterranean on the #EverGiven

Hey man, can you name the denonym for the people living on a French island in the Mediterranean?

Corsican!

Are you on the Mediterranean Diet?

Because I see a lot turkey and grease.

I’ve always wanted to replace the Mediterranean with orange soda

I guess it’s always been my biggest Fanta Sea.

Someone from an island in the Mediterranean asked me if I could guess their ethnicity...

...I said Corsican

What did the ship's navigator say to the large land lizard passenger when they ask “When will we reach the Mediterranean leg of our North African boat tour.”?

After Nile Crocodile

Did you hear about the guy they found dead at the Mediterranean restaurant?

Yeah, police are calling it a hummus-cide.

How do I introduce my friend Harold, the Mediterranean meat magician?

Gyro wizard, Harry!

A red and blue ship collided in the Mediterranean today.

The survivors are marooned.

What do you call bad Mediterranean food?

Falawful.

Just bought a raffle ticket, top prize a Mediterranean cruise.

Last week's was a rollover

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Official outdoor temperature scale

Official outdoor temperature scale:

+10 Residents of Vilnius apartments wear sweaters and put on wool socks. The Finns plant flowers.

+5 Finns sunbathe in the sun.

+2 Italian cars don’t start.

0 Distilled water freezes.

-1 Breathing becomes visible. It's time ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Im so smart for thinking of this

One guy says to another: Hey, did you know, there's a Middle Eastern country on the Mediterranean Sea, and it’s regarded by Jews, Christians and Muslims as the biblical Holy Land!


The other guy says: I don't believe you, you're talking rubbish.


So the first guy says: No, it isr...

Jesus relieves St. Peter at he pearly gates for a coffee break.

Soon an old man approaches to be admitted. Jesus thinks to himself..."Oh man, I know this guy from somewhere." Embarrassed, he says, "Yes, I know you. On Earth you lived...let's see..." The old man says, "I lived in a Mediterranean country." Jesus says, "Right, I remember. And you worked as...uh..."...

What separates humans and animals?

The Mediterranean

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is cold?

What is cold?
(note: to get the temperature into Fahrenheit: multiply by 9, divide by 5, then add 32)

+10°C
The inhabitants of Helsinki (Finland) turn off their heating.
The Laps (inhabitants of Lapland) plant flowers.

+5°C
The Laps take a sun-bath (if the sun gets over the...

Which part of Europe took in the most refugees?

The Mediterranean sea

It's Paddy's first time out of Ireland

and he's on a Mediterranean cruise. His breakfast table assignment is with a Frenchman. Neither speak the other's language. The first day, the latter's first words to Paddy are "bon appetite", and the former responds "Paddy Murphy." This exact exchange happens the next day as well. The third day Pad...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.