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Cauliflower Jokes

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A man went into a Birmingham supermarket asking to buy half a cauliflower.

The young greens produce assistant told him that they sold only whole cauliflowers.

The man persisted, and asked to see the manager; so the boy went to find him.

Walking into the stock room, unaware that the customer was following him, the boy said to his manager, "Some idiot out there...

I ate at Mary Poppin's Restaurant last night...

Super cauliflower cheese but the lobster was atrocious

I keep randomly shouting out "Brocolli" and "Cauliflower".

I think I might have Florets.

Cauliflower

It probably wouldn't answer but try anyway

What did the broccoli say to the cauliflower when making their getaway?

"Floret!"

What do you call a cauliflower growing at the edge of a garden?

a border cauli!

What do you call a sad vegetable?

Melan Cauliflower

Jokes about food should not be criticized too parshley

They should be taken in-gest.



English is not my first cabbage, and my 6-week old cauliflower did not write this joke.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There I stood wearing a coat of carrots and a hat made of cauliflower.

"What the fuck is this?" asked my wife.

I said, "You told me to put the vegetables on."

What was Van Gogh's least favourite vegetable? An ear of cauliflower.

Sorry it was an arty joke.

Mary Poppins Decided To Grow Some Vegetables

Mary Poppins decides to grow some vegetables. When she picks her crop in the autumn, her carrots, potatoes, onions, and spring beans have all failed, but her cauliflowers have grown a treat.

She picks them, cooks some for Sunday lunch in a cheese sauce, and they taste wonderful.

After ...

Why did the bee buy a phone?

To cauliflower

I asked my doctor how bad my breath is.

"You see that broccoli over there?" he pointed.

"Yes..." I replied.

"That was a cauliflower before you started talking."

Aldi recently copied Lidl's idea to reduce their prices on courgettes, cucumbers, carrots, celery, celeriac, cabbage and cauliflower, and now they're being fined for breaking piracy laws.

It's because they sale'd the seven Cs.

R/jokes

Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night.

"Certainly madam," he replied courteously.

"Is the restaurant open still?" inquired Mary.

"Sorry, no,"...

Bachelor shopping

A man, enjoying bachelorhood while his wife was away visiting her parents, lived like a typical bachelor, living on whatever was in the pantry.

Cauliflower in the fridge? Fry them with the eggs found there and that's lunch and dinner. Don't want to cook? Open up the cans of soup in the pantry...

My favorite vegetable...

I work at a grocery store. This kid comes up to me today and asks me what my favorite vegetable is.

“Cauliflower,” I tell him. “What about yours?”

“Grampa,” he replied.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lady walks into a grocery store.

She says hello and looks around the place for five minutes. Finally she walks up to the owner and says,

'Good morning sir. I was wondering if you have any broccoli left.'

'Really sorry ma'am, we're fresh out of broccoli. We might have some more tomorrow.'

'Oh. I see.'

Des...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Penis Problem

A man went out with his buddies for a night on the town, ending up in a house of ill repute.

A week later, he was at his doctor's office, complaining about the large green lump on the end of his penis.

After a thorough exam, the doctor consulted a large book, flicking through it until...

10 best one-liners from the 2019 Edinburgh fringe

**"I keep randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' - I think I might have Florets".**

The gag won 41% of the vote.

## Best of the rest

Ten jokes made the 2019 shortlist. Here are the next nine:

* "Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they'r...

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