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Ping Pong Balls

Four friends are driving down the road when suddenly they see this beautiful girl out in the middle of a cornfield.

They approach the girl in their truck and decide to get out. They start flirting with the girl, talking over each other so they can win her over when suddenly an old beat down ...

What do you call Aladdin when he has high ping?

Alaggin

The science of ping pong balls...

Long, Science

A science convention is in town. So a chemist, physicist and engineer walk into a local bar. The bar tender sees them and says, "hey, you're all wise guys, how would I figure out the volume of this ping pong ball?" The chemist takes the ball from him, pulls out a graduated cylin...

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A father just had his first son...

"I'm going to give him everything he desires" the father said as he saw his newborn son.

As soon as the son started speaking, "Son what do you wish for?" The son replied..."ping pong balls" , the father wanting to keep his promise bought him that.

The child grew and was a brilliant kid...

What's the name of the fastest Chinese online game player?

Lo Ping

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I got in trouble for telling this joke in 5th grade on share a joke day.

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess with three handsome suitors.

Each suitor tried their best to charm the princess, but the princess could not choose which handsome suitor to marry.

The princess did love ping pong though, and so she decided to test the suitors' love.
...

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Green ping pong ball.

These was once a girl, Sara, whos third birthday was coming up, and as this was the first time she was old enough to really understand what was happening, her parents asked her what she wanted.
"I want a green ping pong ball!" Sara answered immediately and without a hint of uncertainty. The par...

I was playing ping pong with Jesus

Me: Ok that's 3-2 me, and it's my serve now

Jesus: ...

Me: Jesus give me the ball

Jesus: The son of Man came not to be served but to serve

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Pink Ping Pong Ball

A little boy named Marty was born one day to a wealthy family. On Marty's second birthday, his mom asked Marty what he wanted for his birthday. Marty said, "I want a pink ping pong ball!" Mom was confused why Marty wanted pink ping pong balls but agreed to buy them for her son's sake.

Fast f...

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There was once an ancient Chinese Emperor...

... This emperor had a young and beautiful daughter. One day he realized he was growing quite old, and there is a high chance he would soon die. When he died, there would be no man to take care of his daughter. So he set up a task for anyone in his empire. The person who brought him the most pin...

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Sex is like ping pong

A never ending push and pull until one partner loses the ball

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Sex is like ping pong.

I suck at it.

"Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"Ping"

"Ping who?"

"Noot Noot!"

Just hoping it's not a repost. Was too lazy to check :P

What do you call an Asian woman who lives next to a data centre?

Ping Lo.

Ancient China should be credited for inventing toilet paper.

The inventor was Wai Ping.

I have a bad ping.

It might be terminal.

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An engineer threw a party for all of his friends.

During the party, someone realized that the big lottery drawing was that night. Since they were low on beer, they decided to all come up with their lottery numbers and buy their tickets during the beer run.

The programmer created an interactive program, complete with simulated announcer readi...

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What do you call a flamboyant asian man who likes to sleep outside?

Camp Ping

What does a M1 Garand and a microwave have in common?

They both go ping when they're done

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A Chinese woman who was a chronic masturbator crossdressed to enlist in the army

Her name was Fa Ping

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There was once a boy who was born into a very rich family.

There was once a boy who was born into a very rich family. His parents could afford to give him anything he wanted. Well, the boy finally graduated from preschool. So far, he had already mastered his ABC’s and could count to one hundred perfectly. He could even spell fairly well, and his reading was...

Who invented the machine for writing?

A chinese man by the name of Tai Ping.

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I Wrote This On The Toilet

Toss and turn I clench my cheeks,
I'm half awake and half asleep,
My stomach growls and up I sit,
To take my nightly sloppy shit

And as I stumble in the dark,
I concentrate lest I should fart,
For if I do disaster strikes,
I'll shit my pants in this cold night

A...

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Rednecks and the elevator.

A redneck family are visiting a big city for the first time.

The father ans son are in the hotel lobby when the spot an elevator.

"What's that Paw?" The boy asked.

"I ain't never did see nothin' like that in my life" Replied the father.

Seconds later an old frail woman wa...

Excited about Net Neutrality Repeal

Now all my opponents will have the same ping as I.

Who lead the Chinese empire into the Wi-Fi age

Emperor Ping

Women are like balls.

At 20, they are a Soccer Ball with 22 men running after them.

At 30, they are a Basketball with 10 men running after them.

At 40, they are a Golf Ball with just 1 man running after them.

At 50, they are a Ping-Pong Ball with men pushing them to other men.

Old joke my brother told me when i was a young lad

3 men die and go to heaven, meeting them at the gates of heaven was god himself.

"Evening gentlemen. Unfortunately, there is a simple trial require to enter heaven. Each of you must return to earth, gather ping pong balls, as much as you can, and return with them in hand."

The three me...

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REQUEST: Racist "White" jokes, please.

I know DOZENS of Racist Jokes. But only a couple (not very good) Racist White Jokes.

For example:
Did you hear about the 2 house fire in Mexico?
Thousands died.

Why do Mexican's drive low-riders?
So they can pick strawberries from their car.

A man walks into a Bar with...

An Englishman in France

This happened to an Englishman in France who was totally blasted. A French policeman stops his car and asks if he has been drinking. With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that his daughter got married that morning, and that he drank champagne and a few bottl...

Who's the fastest runner in the chinese olympic team?

Mr. Do Ping

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A very rich man gave birth to a son.

On the son's sixteenth birthday, The man asked him what he wanted, and said that he would get anything his heart could desire. The son only asked for a pink ping pong ball. His father was curious, but complied. After they had cake and ice cream and the son opened his presents, he went up to his room...

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One Wednesday, a teacher says to her students,

"Whoever can answer this next question correctly can go home for the day." Naturally the entire class sits up and pays attention at the possibility of skipping the whole day, particularly the class nerd.

She slams her hand on the desk for emphasis and says, "How many drops of water are ther...

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De parrot, he is dead

At dawn the telephone rings,

"Hello, Señor Bob? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."

"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Señor Bob, that your parrot, he is dead".

"My parrot? Dead? The one t...

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One day, the teacher walks into her classroom...

She announces to the class that on Friday, she will ask a question to the class and anyone who gives the right answer can skip school on Monday.

So, on the first Friday, the teacher asks, "How many grains of sand are at the beach?" Well, the kids looked at one another, but no one had the answ...

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A joke my work buddy came up with.

A professional magician had a day off and decided to go out to the strip club. One half naked stripper went on stage and asked if anyone wanted to see a magic trick. After a positive response the stripper explained she was going to put a ping pong ball in her mouth and make it come out of her ass. T...

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An old man saw an ad in the papers for a sale going on at his local sports shop.

The ad was for a set of golf balls and since he was an avid golfer decided that first thing in the morning once the store opened he would go and buy them. So 9am rolls around and he walks through the door and sees the clerk and asks about the sale.

"I'm so sorry sir, but we actually sold out ...

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A blonde woman is in a plane bound for Toronto...

...when the pilot says over the speakers- *Ping*! "You are now free to move about the cabin." The blonde calmly gets up from her seat in second class, strolls over to an empty seat in first class, and promptly gets herself situated.

One of the newer flight attendants notices this, so, natural...

What is Donald Trump's opinion on Euthenasia?

"Those Chinese kids are really smart, and really fit. Just look at them winning all these ping pong and badminton tournaments...but they should stay in Asia"

What do you call a Chinese man with a bad internet connection?

Hi Ping

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Little Johnny was in class when his teacher

Little Johnny was in class when his teacher told the class that she would be introducing something new. Every Friday she would ask them a question and the quickest student to get it right would get the next Monday off school.

The first Friday she asks them 'how many blades of grass are there ...

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The genie.

A man and his wife were plying ping pong in their home, when the wife accidentally struck the ball too hard,
and it went into their neighbor’s open window and there was a sound of breaking glass from inside.


Nobody came out and there was no sign of the neighbor, so the couple thought ...

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Three men are deserted on an Island

Three men become deserted on an Island after their Boat crashes. They soon encounter the King of the Island who promises a way off the Island. The only catch is only one of them is allowed off the Island.



The King requests that whoever finds the most Ping Pong Balls on the Island will...