The 51+ Best Ping Jokes

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Green ping pong ball.

These was once a girl, Sara, whos third birthday was coming up, and as this was the first time she was old enough to really understand what was happening, her parents asked her what she wanted.
"I want a green ping pong ball!" Sara answered immediately and without a hint of uncertainty. The par...

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I got in trouble for telling this joke in 5th grade on share a joke day.

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess with three handsome suitors.

Each suitor tried their best to charm the princess, but the princess could not choose which handsome suitor to marry.

The princess did love ping pong though, and so she decided to test the suitors' love.
...

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Pink ping pong balls

Once upon a time there was a father and a son. It was the son’s tenth birthday and his father said,

“Son, you are the most precious thing in the world to me. Whatever you ask for your birthday, you shall receive.”

His son replied,

“Dad, all I want for my birthday is a pink ping ...

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The science of ping pong balls...

Long, Science

A science convention is in town. So a chemist, physicist and engineer walk into a local bar. The bar tender sees them and says, "hey, you're all wise guys, how would I figure out the volume of this ping pong ball?" The chemist takes the ball from him, pulls out a graduated cylin...

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Ping Pong Balls

Four friends are driving down the road when suddenly they see this beautiful girl out in the middle of a cornfield.

They approach the girl in their truck and decide to get out. They start flirting with the girl, talking over each other so they can win her over when suddenly an old beat down ...

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Ping pong balls

Many years back there was a king who had the most beautiful daughter in all the lands. The king issues a challenge. "The first knight who can find the most ping pong balls gets to marry my daughter".

The first knight returns with 300 ping pong balls. Two days later, the second knight comes ...

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Pink Ping Pong Ball

A little boy named Marty was born one day to a wealthy family. On Marty's second birthday, his mom asked Marty what he wanted for his birthday. Marty said, "I want a pink ping pong ball!" Mom was confused why Marty wanted pink ping pong balls but agreed to buy them for her son's sake.

Fast f...

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Sex is like ping pong.

I suck at it.

I was playing ping pong with Jesus

Me: Ok that's 3-2 me, and it's my serve now

Jesus: ...

Me: Jesus give me the ball

Jesus: The son of Man came not to be served but to serve

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A little boy wished for 10 ping-pong balls for his 10th birthday.

A little boy wished for 10 ping-pong balls for his 10th birthday.
When he turned 11 he wished for 11 ping-pong balls. This continued every year.

They boy grew up to a man. When he turned 18, he wished for 18 ping-pong balls and when he turned 25 he wished for 25 ping-pong balls.

H...

If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping-pong and died, what would they put on his coffin?

A lid.

What's the name of the fastest Chinese online game player?

Lo Ping

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Sex is like ping pong

A never ending push and pull until one partner loses the ball

I have a bad ping.

It might be terminal.

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A father just had his first son...

"I'm going to give him everything he desires" the father said as he saw his newborn son.

As soon as the son started speaking, "Son what do you wish for?" The son replied..."ping pong balls" , the father wanting to keep his promise bought him that.

The child grew and was a brilliant kid...

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There was once an ancient Chinese Emperor...

... This emperor had a young and beautiful daughter. One day he realized he was growing quite old, and there is a high chance he would soon die. When he died, there would be no man to take care of his daughter. So he set up a task for anyone in his empire. The person who brought him the most pin...

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An aging emperor was unsure how to divide his kingdom amongst his three sons...

After thinking on it for awhile he decided he didn't want to break up his empire and devised a plan to choose a successor. So he brought his sons before him and told them his plan.

"My sons, to determine who will inherit my empire I will send you all out on a quest. You must go out into the w...

Why do fps players never use the m1 garand?

They get alot of ping because of it

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What’s the best way to end a conversation with a Nazi?

Eight pops and a PING!

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There is this child in 1st grade and he's doing poorly in school.

His dad is concerned and asked what he can do to help. The child tells his father "Dad, if you get me 2 pink ping pong balls, I'll get my grades up." The child gets 2 pink ping pong balls and gets his grades up and moves onto second grade.

In 2nd grade, he's not doing well again. He tells his...

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A king looking for a knight to marry his daughter

A king is trying to find someone to marry his beautiful daughter and sets up a quest to who can find the most ping pong balls in all the land. Three knights set out on this adventure. A few days later the first knight arrives with 27 ping pong balls. The next knight comes in shortly after and has 54...

Here's one for those born before the 1980's...

The chief of a large Western African tribe flew into London for a state visit and was being interviewed.

“Welcome to our country, Your Excellency,” said one reporter. “Did you have a good flight?”

The Chief made a strange series of sounds – bells, whistles, hisses, pings in no apparen...

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Dirty ernie pt. 3 (final that I can remember)

The teacher tells the class that every Friday, she's going to ask a question, and whomever can answer it correctly will be excused from class on Monday of the following week.

The first week she asks, "how high is the sky?

Ernie says, "what the fuck? Nobody can answer that."

Teac...

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A very rich man gave birth to a son.

On the son's sixteenth birthday, The man asked him what he wanted, and said that he would get anything his heart could desire. The son only asked for a pink ping pong ball. His father was curious, but complied. After they had cake and ice cream and the son opened his presents, he went up to his room...

"Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"Ping"

"Ping who?"

"Noot Noot!"

Just hoping it's not a repost. Was too lazy to check :P

The US and Chinese virtual summit got off to a rocky start today.

They kept having issues with Xi Jin’s ping.

What do you call a Chinese that is good at jumping

Lee ping

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What are some of your best “and then I said” jokes

When my friends and I are talking I like to every now and then go “and then I said ping pong balls not king kong’s balls” for a laugh.

I wondered if anyone else has any gags like this?

An Englishman in France

This happened to an Englishman in France who was totally blasted. A French policeman stops his car and asks if he has been drinking. With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that his daughter got married that morning, and that he drank champagne and a few bottl...

Did you see the news about the fight that broke out when they played the wrong national anthem for the winning team at the Asian table tennis finals?

The headline read "Hong Kong Ping Pong Sing Song Ding Dong".

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One Wednesday, a teacher says to her students,

"Whoever can answer this next question correctly can go home for the day." Naturally the entire class sits up and pays attention at the possibility of skipping the whole day, particularly the class nerd.

She slams her hand on the desk for emphasis and says, "How many drops of water are ther...

Old joke my brother told me when i was a young lad

3 men die and go to heaven, meeting them at the gates of heaven was god himself.

"Evening gentlemen. Unfortunately, there is a simple trial require to enter heaven. Each of you must return to earth, gather ping pong balls, as much as you can, and return with them in hand."

The three me...

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There was once a boy who was born into a very rich family.

There was once a boy who was born into a very rich family. His parents could afford to give him anything he wanted. Well, the boy finally graduated from preschool. So far, he had already mastered his ABC’s and could count to one hundred perfectly. He could even spell fairly well, and his reading was...

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So there’s this teacher that tells her class anyone who correctly answers a special question she’s going to ask on Friday won’t have to come to school on Monday.

On the first Friday, the teacher asks, "How many grains of sand are in the beach?" Needless to say, no one could answer.

The following Friday, the teacher asks the class, "How many stars are in the sky?" and again no one could answer. Frustrated, little Johnny decides that the next Friday, he...

Coronavirus originated in Wuhan.

Did you hear about the serious cough originating in Wu Ping?

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De parrot, he is dead

At dawn the telephone rings,

"Hello, Señor Bob? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."

"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Señor Bob, that your parrot, he is dead".

"My parrot? Dead? The one t...

I met a very famous asian gamer today.

His name was Lo Ping.

What do you call an Asian woman who lives next to a data centre?

Ping Lo.

Did you know the e-cigarette was invented by a chinese man?

His name is Wei Ping

Did you know the inventor of the typewriter was unknown until recent discoveries in China?

The new discoveries point to a man named Tye Ping

Coronavirus came from Wuhan but it isn't the only disease to come from China

There's also the Wu Ping cough.

What do gamers and Asians in ‘the office’ have in common

They both hate Ping

Sorry if you don’t watch the office

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Three men are deserted on an Island

Three men become deserted on an Island after their Boat crashes. They soon encounter the King of the Island who promises a way off the Island. The only catch is only one of them is allowed off the Island.

The King requests that whoever finds the most Ping Pong Balls on the Island will...

Why was the internet slow at the Chinese marijuana Farm?

Because it is run with a high Ping.

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3 race horses are having a drink at their local pub

They each talk about their recent races and victories,

The first horse says - "Guys, I had something weird happen at my last race. I was in the final straight running 5th and losing ground, I didn't think there was any chance I could get up and win. Then all of the sudden *PING* this burst of...

Women are like balls.

At 20, they are a Soccer Ball with 22 men running after them.

At 30, they are a Basketball with 10 men running after them.

At 40, they are a Golf Ball with just 1 man running after them.

At 50, they are a Ping-Pong Ball with men pushing them to other men.

Excited about Net Neutrality Repeal

Now all my opponents will have the same ping as I.

You know what every Asian is dreaming about?

30ms ping

What does a M1 Garand and a microwave have in common?

They both go ping when they're done

Who lead the Chinese empire into the Wi-Fi age

Emperor Ping

What do you call a Chinese man with a bad internet connection?

Hi Ping

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