A man and his wife are sitting in the livingroom one evening. He was tapping away on his phone while she was curled up reading a book when suddenly they heard her phone ping from the kitchen.

She went to the kitchen to read the text message from her husband "Could you bring me a beer from the fridge while you're there?"

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An aging emperor was unsure how to divide his kingdom amongst his three sons...

After thinking on it for awhile he decided he didn't want to break up his empire and devised a plan to choose a successor. So he brought his sons before him and told them his plan.

"My sons, to determine who will inherit my empire I will send you all out on a quest. You must go out into the w...

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Ping Pong Balls

Four friends are driving down the road when suddenly they see this beautiful girl out in the middle of a cornfield.

They approach the girl in their truck and decide to get out. They start flirting with the girl, talking over each other so they can win her over when suddenly an old beat down ...

A study of different American’s choice of sport

Now this is profound:

It is very interesting looking over data of different socioeconomic groups in America and the different types of recreation they partake in, and what it means about them as a group.

Poor people tend to play basketball.

Working Class tend to play football<...

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There is this child in 1st grade and he's doing poorly in school.

His dad is concerned and asked what he can do to help. The child tells his father "Dad, if you get me 2 pink ping pong balls, I'll get my grades up." The child gets 2 pink ping pong balls and gets his grades up and moves onto second grade.

In 2nd grade, he's not doing well again. He tells his...

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A little boy wished for 10 ping-pong balls for his 10th birthday.

A little boy wished for 10 ping-pong balls for his 10th birthday.
When he turned 11 he wished for 11 ping-pong balls. This continued every year.

They boy grew up to a man. When he turned 18, he wished for 18 ping-pong balls and when he turned 25 he wished for 25 ping-pong balls.

H...

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The science of ping pong balls...

Long, Science

A science convention is in town. So a chemist, physicist and engineer walk into a local bar. The bar tender sees them and says, "hey, you're all wise guys, how would I figure out the volume of this ping pong ball?" The chemist takes the ball from him, pulls out a graduated cylin...

What do you call Aladdin when he has high ping?

Alaggin

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So there’s this teacher that tells her class anyone who correctly answers a special question she’s going to ask on Friday won’t have to come to school on Monday.

On the first Friday, the teacher asks, "How many grains of sand are in the beach?" Needless to say, no one could answer.

The following Friday, the teacher asks the class, "How many stars are in the sky?" and again no one could answer. Frustrated, little Johnny decides that the next Friday, he...

Coronavirus came from Wuhan but it isn't the only disease to come from China

There's also the Wu Ping cough.

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Green ping pong ball.

These was once a girl, Sara, whos third birthday was coming up, and as this was the first time she was old enough to really understand what was happening, her parents asked her what she wanted.
"I want a green ping pong ball!" Sara answered immediately and without a hint of uncertainty. The par...

It was so quiet at the High CPU party.

You could hear a ping drop.

A Chinese with Bad internet

Xi Jin | Ping 999 |

I was playing ping pong with Jesus

Me: Ok that's 3-2 me, and it's my serve now

Jesus: ...

Me: Jesus give me the ball

Jesus: The son of Man came not to be served but to serve

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Ping pong balls

Many years back there was a king who had the most beautiful daughter in all the lands. The king issues a challenge. "The first knight who can find the most ping pong balls gets to marry my daughter".

The first knight returns with 300 ping pong balls. Two days later, the second knight comes ...

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Pink Ping Pong Ball

A little boy named Marty was born one day to a wealthy family. On Marty's second birthday, his mom asked Marty what he wanted for his birthday. Marty said, "I want a pink ping pong ball!" Mom was confused why Marty wanted pink ping pong balls but agreed to buy them for her son's sake.

Fast f...

Did you know the e-cigarette was invented by a chinese man?

His name is Wei Ping

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Sex is like ping pong

A never ending push and pull until one partner loses the ball

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Sex is like ping pong.

I suck at it.

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I once attended a 50s music themed table tennis festival in a far east country, hosted by an Asian dictator where all the participants were dressed as famous movie gorillas...

It was Kim Jongs Honk Kong Honky Tonk King Kong Ping Pong Ding Dong

I'll see myself out.

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A king looking for a knight to marry his daughter

A king is trying to find someone to marry his beautiful daughter and sets up a quest to who can find the most ping pong balls in all the land. Three knights set out on this adventure. A few days later the first knight arrives with 27 ping pong balls. The next knight comes in shortly after and has 54...

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I got in trouble for telling this joke in 5th grade on share a joke day.

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess with three handsome suitors.

Each suitor tried their best to charm the princess, but the princess could not choose which handsome suitor to marry.

The princess did love ping pong though, and so she decided to test the suitors' love.
...

Why was the internet slow at the Chinese marijuana Farm?

Because it is run with a high Ping.

What's the name of the fastest Chinese online game player?

Lo Ping

"Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"Ping"

"Ping who?"

"Noot Noot!"

Just hoping it's not a repost. Was too lazy to check :P

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A father just had his first son...

"I'm going to give him everything he desires" the father said as he saw his newborn son.

As soon as the son started speaking, "Son what do you wish for?" The son replied..."ping pong balls" , the father wanting to keep his promise bought him that.

The child grew and was a brilliant kid...

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An engineer threw a party for all of his friends.

During the party, someone realized that the big lottery drawing was that night. Since they were low on beer, they decided to all come up with their lottery numbers and buy their tickets during the beer run.

The programmer created an interactive program, complete with simulated announcer readi...

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What do you call a flamboyant asian man who likes to sleep outside?

Camp Ping

Ancient China should be credited for inventing toilet paper.

The inventor was Wai Ping.

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There was once a boy who was born into a very rich family.

There was once a boy who was born into a very rich family. His parents could afford to give him anything he wanted. Well, the boy finally graduated from preschool. So far, he had already mastered his ABC’s and could count to one hundred perfectly. He could even spell fairly well, and his reading was...

What does a M1 Garand and a microwave have in common?

They both go ping when they're done

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There was once an ancient Chinese Emperor...

... This emperor had a young and beautiful daughter. One day he realized he was growing quite old, and there is a high chance he would soon die. When he died, there would be no man to take care of his daughter. So he set up a task for anyone in his empire. The person who brought him the most pin...

An Englishman in France

This happened to an Englishman in France who was totally blasted. A French policeman stops his car and asks if he has been drinking. With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that his daughter got married that morning, and that he drank champagne and a few bottl...

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I Wrote This On The Toilet

Toss and turn I clench my cheeks,
I'm half awake and half asleep,
My stomach growls and up I sit,
To take my nightly sloppy shit

And as I stumble in the dark,
I concentrate lest I should fart,
For if I do disaster strikes,
I'll shit my pants in this cold night

A...

Excited about Net Neutrality Repeal

Now all my opponents will have the same ping as I.

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Rednecks and the elevator.

A redneck family are visiting a big city for the first time.

The father ans son are in the hotel lobby when the spot an elevator.

"What's that Paw?" The boy asked.

"I ain't never did see nothin' like that in my life" Replied the father.

Seconds later an old frail woman wa...

Women are like balls.

At 20, they are a Soccer Ball with 22 men running after them.

At 30, they are a Basketball with 10 men running after them.

At 40, they are a Golf Ball with just 1 man running after them.

At 50, they are a Ping-Pong Ball with men pushing them to other men.

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One Wednesday, a teacher says to her students,

"Whoever can answer this next question correctly can go home for the day." Naturally the entire class sits up and pays attention at the possibility of skipping the whole day, particularly the class nerd.

She slams her hand on the desk for emphasis and says, "How many drops of water are ther...

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De parrot, he is dead

At dawn the telephone rings,

"Hello, Señor Bob? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."

"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Señor Bob, that your parrot, he is dead".

"My parrot? Dead? The one t...

What do you call an Asian woman who lives next to a data centre?

Ping Lo.

Who's the fastest runner in the chinese olympic team?

Mr. Do Ping

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A very rich man gave birth to a son.

On the son's sixteenth birthday, The man asked him what he wanted, and said that he would get anything his heart could desire. The son only asked for a pink ping pong ball. His father was curious, but complied. After they had cake and ice cream and the son opened his presents, he went up to his room...

Old joke my brother told me when i was a young lad

3 men die and go to heaven, meeting them at the gates of heaven was god himself.

"Evening gentlemen. Unfortunately, there is a simple trial require to enter heaven. Each of you must return to earth, gather ping pong balls, as much as you can, and return with them in hand."

The three me...

Who lead the Chinese empire into the Wi-Fi age

Emperor Ping

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How do you confuse a blonde?

Paint yourself green and throw ping pong balls at her

You know what every Asian is dreaming about?

30ms ping

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A blonde woman is in a plane bound for Toronto...

...when the pilot says over the speakers- *Ping*! "You are now free to move about the cabin." The blonde calmly gets up from her seat in second class, strolls over to an empty seat in first class, and promptly gets herself situated.

One of the newer flight attendants notices this, so, natural...

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A joke my work buddy came up with.

A professional magician had a day off and decided to go out to the strip club. One half naked stripper went on stage and asked if anyone wanted to see a magic trick. After a positive response the stripper explained she was going to put a ping pong ball in her mouth and make it come out of her ass. T...

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The genie.

A man and his wife were plying ping pong in their home, when the wife accidentally struck the ball too hard,
and it went into their neighbor’s open window and there was a sound of breaking glass from inside.


Nobody came out and there was no sign of the neighbor, so the couple thought ...

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