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Criticism Jokes

Everybody needs to lay off the criticism of that Titan submarine guy and give him a break.

He’s under a lot of pressure right now.

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Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess...

"Will you marry me?"


The Princess said "NO!"


And the Prince lived happily ever after, and rode motorcycles, and went fishing, and hunting, and played golf, and fucked women half his age, and drank beer, and scotch and had tons of money in the bank, and scratched his balls...

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I just finished reading a book called "How To Give Constructive Criticism"

It was fucking shit.

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What's the difference between criticism and constructive criticism?

One pisses you off and the other helps to piss you off

How do you express criticism of Israel in America?

\[redacted\]

I found my son hanging from a rope in his bedroom.

On the floor was a note saying, "I can't stand the critism anymore."

I quickly cut him down, gave him CPR and he started to breathe.

As he lay in my arms I saw his eyes slowly open and I said, "That's not how you spell criticism."

My girlfriend was told she doesn't take criticism very well

I said that must of been hard to hear

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My girlfriend says she’s open to a lot of stuff when it comes to sex

Apparently one of those things isn’t criticism

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To people who get pissed off about passive-aggressive criticism...

What else do you do poorly?

I was telling my friend a joke about sky diving but he gave me constructive criticism on it

It didn’t land very well

I have finally completed my PhD in Literary Criticism...

And I beg you not to speak of the irony.

What do you call a boat that doesn't allow criticism?

A censor-ship

Why are sound guys so bad at taking criticism?

They hate feedback.

What do you call a quick, clever reply to an insult or criticism.

A riposte

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Donald Trump can't take any criticism…

At this point he's such a pussy about it he may as well just grab himself.

Chuck E. Cheese has preempted any criticism from the Chinese Government and purchased PF Chang’s.

Their new name will be Chuck E. Chinese.

I took a class recently on the history of food preservation.

In the early days, metal containers were the cheapest and easiest to make, so almost all food was stored in cans. Tin was a particularly soft and easy to mold/shape, and didn’t rust like other options, so most preserved food cans were made of tin.

Things went great for a while, with some food...

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I had to follow a soft skills course “How to give constructive criticism”.

It was total shit.

The Lorena Bobbitt documentary was very informative and well directed, my only criticism is that it was way too long

They should have cut half of it.

My mother said to me at dinner last week that I overreact too much to criticism.

So I shot her.

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