UPJOKE

(Got to say this out loud) Knock knock...

- Who's there?

- I eat map

- I eat map who?

- Ewwww (etc, etc)


This is posted on behalf of our seven year old. It's his favourite joke.

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Hawaii…

Hawaii who?

Why I’m fine thanks, and how are you?

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Little Boy Blue

Little Boy Blue who?

Michael Jackson

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Madame."

"Madame who?"

"Madame finger's stuck in the door."

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Eileen and Mike.

Eileen and Mike who?

Eileen Dover and Mike Hunt got a little chili here.

Knock knock joke

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Unreliable Narrator.

Unreliable Narrator who?

That’s not what I said.

Knock Knock...

Who's there?

Amber Heard

Amber Heard Who?

Objection! Hearsay

Politically charged joke. Knock Knock

Who's there?


Putin.


Putin who?


Putin a doorbell I'm tired of knocking.

Voldemort: Knock Knock

James: Who’s there?

Voldemort: You Know

James: You Know who?

Voldemort: Exactly.

James: Aw, Dang!

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Wendy…

Wendy who?

Wendy moon hits your eyes like a big pizza pie

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Kanga…

Kanga Who?

Actually, it’s kangaroo!

Knock knock.....

*hmm...that's a nice ripe watermelon*

Knock knock (from my 6 year old)

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Far Don.
Far Don who?
Fart on YOU!

Do you know the guy who created the knock knock joke?

They say he won the no-bell price.

Knock knock

Context my son was not in the mood for knock knock jokes

Me: Knock knock

Me: Knock knock

Me: Knock knock

Him: oh good they left

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Knock Knock

“Who’s There?”

“Kung.”

“Kung who?”

“It’s Kung Foo, you dumbass.”

Knock knock

Who's there?

Dishes

Dishes who?

Dishes Sean Connery

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Knock knock...

A little boy answers the door to a traveling salesman. The boy is wearing a smoking jacket and holding a glass of brandy in one hand and a fat cigar in the other.

“Hello, son, are your parents in?” asks the salesman.

“What the fuck do you think?” the boy replies jadedly

Knock Knock

Knock Knock.

-

Who's there?

-

Ninja.

-

Ninja Who?

-

Obviously a bad Ninja cause i knocked.

Knock knock

Who's there?
Whale.
Whale who?
Whale you please let me in

"Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"Ah"

"Ah who?"

"Werewolves in London"

Knock knock

Well, the other people at the funeral didn't find it funny knocking the coffin

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"
"You"
"You, who?"
"Yooohoo anyone theeere?"

Knock Knock

“Knock-knock!”

“Who’s there?

“9/11.”

“9/11 who?”

“You promised you’d never forget.”

Knock knock.

*Knock knock*
Who's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Bless you.


(I thought of this all on my own...but others may have also thought the same thing)

Give me your best kids knock-knock jokes!

My 4 year old is a budding comedian, and her new favourite is knock-knock jokes. She keeps asking me for new ones that she can tell to people, but I can't find many good ones that she will understand.

The current go-to's are:

Knock knock -- Who's there? -- Europe! -- Europe who? -- No,...

Knock knock

Who's there?

Du wing.

Du wing who?

Du wing your mom

Knock knock

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Cow goes.
Cow goes who?
No, Cow goes Moo!

Credit to my 7 year old daughter

Knock Knock



Who's there?

Dejav

Dejav Who?

Knock Knock

Knock knock.

"Who's there?"

"Interrupting wildebeest."

"Interrupting wildebeest..."

"Gnu!"

My son created a kids safe Godzilla Knock Knock Joke

Son: Knock Knock

Victim: Who's there?

Son: Godzilla

Victim: Godzilla who?

Son: Raaawr! Chomp!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The best knock knock joke EVER

Knock knock.

Who‘s there?

Poop. .

Poop who?



Ha ha ! you said poo poo!



My daughter made that up.
I am so proud!

Knock-knock joke that is terrible

Knock Knock


Who's there?


Boo


Boo Who?


It's Just a Joke no need to cry

Knock knock. .

Knock knock
“Who’s there?”
IRS.
“IRS who?”
IRS You for tax fraud.

Knock knock

Who's there?

Pizza

Pizza who?

Pizza cake for my cake day!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nazi Knock Knock Joke

Nazi: Knock Knock

Person: Who's there?

Nazi: * slaps person * WE WILL ASK SE KWESTIONS!!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Knock Knock

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Grandad

shit stop the funeral he's alive!

Soooo my 4 year old nephew just told me this. He's a little nerd but it made me chuckle. Knock knock...

Who's there?

Cows go.

Cows go who?

No idiot... Cows go moo!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Knock knock

-Knock knock

-Who's there?

-Grandpa!

-Oh shit, stop the funeral!

(Gary Delaney joke)

Knock knock

- Who's there?

- A blunt pencil

- A blunt pencil who?

- Leave it. There's no point.

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Ivan!

Ivan who?

I'van trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty.

Knock Knock

\-Who's there?
\~Daisy
\-Daisy who?
\~Daisy me rollin'!





I know it's terrible but my aunt named Daisy just came up with this and I thought it was so stupid it made it funny and wanted to share.

Knock Knock

Come back with a warrant.

Knock knock...

Who’s there?

Hike.

Hike who?


Warm midnight falling.
Stars shining, dancing brightly.
Peaceful all at once

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Door Mom

Door mom who?

Dormommu, I have come to bargain

Knock Knock!

Come in!
Hey..! It's unlocked... Just come in.

(this is the best way to steal a knock-knock joke)

Do you know what did the guy who invented the first knock knock joke got ?

The 'no-bell prize'

Best knock knock joke ever..

Three brothers age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together.

One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts his foot in and pauses. He yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"

The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come up and see." He starts up the stairs and...

Knock knock

Who's there?

Mary.

Mary who?

Mary Christmas!

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Anna.

Anna who?

Anna happy new year!

Merry Christmas and a happy new year, Reddit :)

Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?

Because freedom RINGS!

Knock Knock

"Who's there?"

"Come in"

"Come in who?"

"Thank you" said the vampire named Who.

Knock Knock Knockin' on Heaven's Door

Knock Knock

Who's there?

I been shot

I been shot, who?

You think this is a joke??

Knock knock

One time I knocked on a psychic's door. She said, "Who is it?" So I left.

"Knock knock!"

who's there?

"You!"

You who?

"YooHoo Big summer blow out!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My grandma used to tell us this joke. She’d say, “knock knock,” we’d say, “who’s there?”

Then she’d say “I can’t remember!” and start to cry. And we’d laugh and laugh to make her feel better, but she was shit at telling jokes.

Did you hear about the guy that invented 'knock knock' jokes?

He won a No Bell prize.

Knock knock

Knock knock
Who's there?
Error.
Error Who?
Error 404: Punchline not found

Whoever invented the knock knock jokes

Should get a Nobell prize.

My 3 year old's knock knock joke - innocence shattered

3 yr old: Knock Knock Daddy!

Me: Who's there?

3 yr old: (excitedly waving around their fork heaped with spaghetti and slinging sauce everywhere) Fork!

Me: Fork who?

*wife and I lock eyes; we each slowly make "the face" as we realize what is about to come out of our 3 yea...

Knock knock

-Who's there?

Eye makeup

-Eye makeup who?

Did you flush?

If you get an email starting with Knock Knock don’t open it.

It’s a Jehovah’s Witness working from home.

The best Knock Knock joke

Me- "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

Dad- "Why"

Me- "To get to the idiots house BAHAHA"

Dad- "That's stupid"

Me- "Fine this one is better, Knock Knock"

Dad- "Who's there"

Me- "The chicken :)"

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Lettuce.

Lettuce who?

Lettuce pause this joke for a word from our sponsor, Raid Shadow Legends

Knock knock...

“Who’s there?”

“I got up”

(REPLY)

“DISGUSTING!!! Why are you telling me this?? Just go then!!”

Knock knock?

Whose there?

A little old lady

....

A little old lady who?

...

I didn't know you could yodel!

Credit does to Google voice assistant. I sheer shock had me laughing for a solid 15 seconds.

My 5 year olds painful twist on a knock knock joke

I was telling my son the "knock knock who's there banana joke", and he laughed and told me to tell it to him again. As I said knock knock he then backhanded my face and said "you shouldn't stand so close to the door"

From my son: "knock knock"

"who's there"

"owls say"

"owls say who"

*meniacal smile*

"Knock knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"Knock knock knock"

"Alright, who is it?!"

"A confused woodpecker"

Knock knock.

Who's there?


Little lady...


...



I didn't know you could yodel.

Knock knock

Who’s there ?
Ice cream soda
Ice cream soda who?
Ice cream soda people can hear me !!!!!!

Knock knock, whos there? Alzheimer's associated, Alzheimer's associated who?

Oh god, we're too late

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Dave." "Dave who?"

Dave begins to sob uncontrollably as he realises his mother's dementia has worsened.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Knock knock. "Who's there?" Pizza. "Pizza who?"

Pete's a fucking asshole. He promised me that he would cover my shifts during this outbreak, but apparently we weren't eligible for government benefits due to some shady shit in his past. So instead of handling it like a GOOD ~~manager~~ HUMAN BEING, he decides to double up my shifts. Which, of cour...

Knock knock! Who's there? Orange! Orange who?

Orange you glad I lost the election?

Knock knock?

Who’s there?

Police.

Police who?

Your wife’s dead.

knock knock

who there

docter

docter who

yes

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "John." "John who?" John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse.

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"John."

"John who?"

John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Pee catch.

Pee catch who?

Go! I choose you!

Knock knock

Who's there?

Waldo.

Waldo?! Where in the world have you been?! We've been looking everywhere for you!

Knock knock

Who's there?

Doctor.

Doctor who?

(In david tennents accent) Actually just "the doctor" is fine.

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