What do you call it when you reprimand upper case letters?

CAPITAL PUNISHMENT

Extra: Aussie man reprimanded by judge for eating candy and nuts in her courtroom.

Defense: "c'mon Judy, lighten up.. it's just my trial mix"

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child.

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child.
Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."
Little ...

A judge is reprimanding the defendant in a trial: “I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again!”

“Your Honor,” the defendant says, “that’s what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldn’t listen.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(Old Joke) A man is in a bar with his friend when he looks at his watch. "Oh shit, I have to get home, my wife's gonna kill me" the man exclaims

"Why? She'll be asleep-- stay for another drink, pal" his friend replies

"You don't understand-- I would drive the car real slow and quiet into our garage, tip-toe from there to the living room and up the stairs, quietly open the door, tip-toe, check if she's asleep --which she is, then slowl...

After my retirement at the company I worked at for 50 years, I looked forward to some relaxation time and putting my feet up, but my wife had other ideas...

... she insisted I take her to the local shopping centre every day.

Like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and out.

She's like most women - loves to browse & leaves me with endless time to fulfill.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following let...

At the swimming pool

A lifeguard reprimand a kid:
- Boy! Stop peeing in the pool!
- But everyone does!
- I know, but not from the diving board!

A Man Buys a New Corvette

While driving it off the lot he decides to take it on the highway and really open things up. He hits the speed limit of 70MPH and continues to accelerate. 75MPH... 80MPH.... and out of nowhere a siren and the flashing lights of a patrol car come into view of his rear-view mirror. Thinking his new ca...

“Fly guy!” the little girl called out to her “fly friends”

Her mother, getting annoyed at the persistent calls, reprimanded her daughter, “They’re not your friends! They are just annoying little pests!”

The little girl looks up at her mother, on the verge of tears, and goes, “No they’re gnat!”

A woman left on a work-cation, leaving her husband behind.

They were childless, but had a cat, whom they loved dearly.
The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was alright.

Her husband replied with a morbid tone, "The cat just died."

She burst into tears and reprimanded her husband, "How could you be so blunt? Why couldn't ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A pompous student is taking a college course but never shows up to class. on the day of exams...

On the day of exams the student comes in and starts writing his essay with the rest as if he’s been there the whole time. The professor sees this and thinks how weird it is that the kid is taking the exam without going to the classes. Anyways the time is nearing the end and the professor announces t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bob, Joe, and Dick go to heaven

Upon arrival they are greeted by St. Peter.

"Welcome to heaven. You are free to do as you please, but we do have one rule. Do not step on the ducks" he says.

'Seems easy enough' the men think.

They walk for quite some time before encountering the first duck, avoiding it with gre...

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a cow?

A reprimand from the Scientific Integrity and Professional Ethics Committee and immediate withdrawal of your grant funding...

God is in Heaven and looks down on the Garden of Eden...

... and he sees Adam and Eve being more intimate than he’d planned.

So God rushes down as fast as he can and catches up with Adam and reprimands him.

“What do you think you’re doing? You’re both supposed to remain pure!”

Adam looks down, embarrassed and God soon notices that Eve...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little boy and his mother were walking down the sidewalk when they encountered a bow legged man.

The bpy pointed his finger at the bloke and yelled out: "Look, mother, a bow legged man!"


His mother was surprised, took her son's hand; and hurriedly walked home.


Upon arrival, she reprimanded the little boy and told him that he would receive a worse punishment next time we wa...

Here's a bit of family-friendly ADD humor, compliments of my wife and daughter

So, my wife, children, and myself were out in town the other day. My wife was reprimanding our daughter for not listening and for not paying attention to things going on. The conversation went as follows (names have been changed to protect the privacy of those involved):

Jane (wife): Jill, I ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little rabbit is happily running through the forest....

A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, ‘Giraffe, my friend, Think about what you’re doing to yourself! Come with me running through the forest, you’ll see, you’ll feel so much better!’ The giraffe looks...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little known fact: Michael Caine tried to make it as a pimp, providing prostitutes for rock stars.

It didn't work out, though. One girl was hired to perform oral sex on Jim Morrison and his band mates but she ended up at a festival shagging every musician. Caine reprimanded her severely, telling her "YOU WERE ONLY SUPPOSED TO BLOW THE BLOODY DOORS OFF!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little boy arrived home from school one day...

...and asked his father what the words pussy and cunt meant. The father was shocked to hear his son say these words. Rather than reprimand him, he decided that it was best to try to explain these words to him by showing him a photo of a nude woman. Pointing to the vagina he said, "You see this prett...

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