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Ke Jokes

What do you call a british Ke$ha?

Ke£ha

Did you guys hear about Ke$ha?

She lost all her money on AMC stocks, had to change her name to Ke¢ha.

As an executioner, I often ask prisoners for their last requests.

My last inmate asked me for a high five, but I just left him hanging

a nice Italian couple . . .

At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Toronto, they have weekly husbands'
marriage seminars.

At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was
approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and
share some insight into how he had managed to stay married...

A stutterer called an emergency.

Dialog ensues:

Hi emergency here what's your emergency.
Hi-i-i I found a d-d-dead horse at the r-r-r-road. I do-don't want there t-t-to be ac-accidedents.
Can s-s-someone tak-ke it away?
Ok sir what is your location.
At spr-spr-spr-spri-spring...Springside Circle?N-n-No no...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Everyone has 3 stages they will go through

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hangi...

A guy walks into a bar after a long day at work and orders a drink.

As he sits there, mulling over his day, he hears a high-pitched voice say, "That shirt looks great on you!”


The man looks around, doesn’t see anything, and returns to his drink thinking nothing more of it. But then, a moment later, the voice returns, this time offering, “You seem like a...

I heard that Trump is going to ban Tik Tok..

What did Ke$ha ever do to him?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Charlotte wants a dress.

Charlotte asked Uncle Bob to borrow some money because she wanted to buy a new dress.

Uncle Bob told her that he would loan her the money if she gave him a blowie.

Charlotte agreed and began sucking. She immediately gagged and said, “This tastes like shit!” ...

What do you call a shish-kebab at a fancy restaurant?

A Shish-ke-Robert

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there was this guy

So there was this guy, yeah?

He wakes up in the middle of the night, sees an angel standing at the foot of his bed.

Angel says, "Hey, man! Yeah... hate to tell you this, but, um... it's your, uh... time. Yeah."

Dude's all like, "Wait, what? Whaddya mean it's 'my time'?"

A...

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