UPJOKE
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John decided to go skiing with his buddy, Keith, so they loaded up John's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard, so they pulled into a nearby farm...

...and asked the attractive lady who answered the door, if they could spend the night.

"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed." she explained. "And I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."

...

Wait a minute, Doc! Are you telling me you built a time machine out of a Beskar minivan?

Yes Marty! It's a Van-DeLorean!

My reddish-brown Toyota minivan caught on fire yesterday

It’s a burnt burnt sienna Sienna.

What does a drunk driver and a family of six in a minivan have in common?

They were both smashed that night.

Why did Stanley Kubrick want to send an old minivan into space?

It would be *"A 2001 Space Odyssey"*

I asked my 3yo daughter if I should get a minivan...

She said, no, you should get a Daisy van.

What's Hank Hill's favorite band?

PROPAIN!

I found a cd at a thrift store for a band actually called PROPAIN, made up this joke on the spot (maybe it's old idk) and made myself giggle, so I had to buy it, now I keep it in our minivan and break it out as my favorite dad joke whenever I have someone in it lol

A man is driving his penguins to the beach

A man had a minivan full of penguins, and is driving to the beach. On his way, a police officer see the minivan and pulls him over.

The officer walks up to the window, asks for license and registration. While he looks over the documents, he asks the driver, "What are you planning to do with a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sign vs. Sign

A couple of young, entrepreneurial prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on the top of their car that read: "Two hookers – $50.00."

A police officer, seeing the sign, pulled the ladies over and advised that they will have to remove the sign or go to jail.

Right about that t...

The deep hole [PG]

Two guys, Jim and Dwight, were out for a hike. While on their jaunt they came across a pitch black hole the size of a minivan. Amazed Dwight walked carefully to the edge. He looked into the utter darkness and exclaimed "Woah! Hey Jim, how deep do you think this goes??"


Jim saunt...

Three men meet a weird car salesman.

Three men, childhood friends, are looking to get new cars. They travel to an odd-looking dealership. They approach the salesman.

Salesman: Greetings, gentlemen. How may I help you today?

The respond that they want new cars.

Salesman: Very well. Answer me one question, and I shal...

Highway 25

A police officer stops a minivan full of elderly ladies, The driver, an older gentleman, for only going 25 mph on the highway.

Officer: "Why are you driving so slowly?"

Gentleman: "Well the sign says 25, sir. I don't understand."

Officer: \*sigh\* "No, sir, that's the number of ...

What has more minivans than a dealership?

A Mormon church parking lot....

An Uber driver

I called an Uber, a luxury minivan came.

The driver asked: are you ok with songs from the 60s?

Thought for 3 second, I said: Why not

Then he started to sing...

The ice cream van thieves

Two bank thieves decided to plan their final job, a huge bank near the Sahara desert.

Their trick was to leave the crime scene in a ice - cream truck, this way the police never suspected them. This final heist however was to prove their last.

They arrived in an battered old minivan an...

Garage Door

The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said,
'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told
her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into hi...

During a huge storm, a man's city calls for an emergency evacuation

As his neighbors are driving away, they offer him a seat in their minivan. He says, "No thank you. I believe in God, and God will protect me from this storm."

The flood waters start to rise and the man is standing on his balcony. A family in a fishing boat come by and offer a space on their b...

Death

When a family member unexpectedly dies, what's the proper waiting period before removing their stick figure from the back of the minivan?

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