John decided to go golfing in Scotland with his buddy, Keith, so they loaded up John's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard, so they pulled into a nearby farm...
...and asked the attractive lady who answered the door, if they could spend the night.
"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed." she explained. "And I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."
My reddish-brown Toyota minivan caught on fire yesterday
It’s a burnt burnt sienna Sienna.
What does a drunk driver and a family of six in a minivan have in common?
They were both smashed that night.
I will always regret the time of my life where I stole Minivans
I was just so amazed that they made shoes for toddlers.
Wait a minute, Doc! Are you telling me you built a time machine out of a Beskar minivan?
Yes Marty! It's a Van-DeLorean!
Why did Stanley Kubrick want to send an old minivan into space?
It would be *"A 2001 Space Odyssey"*
I asked my 3yo daughter if I should get a minivan...
She said, no, you should get a Daisy van.
Three men meet a weird car salesman.
Three men, childhood friends, are looking to get new cars. They travel to an odd-looking dealership. They approach the salesman.
Salesman: Greetings, gentlemen. How may I help you today?
The respond that they want new cars.
Salesman: Very well. Answer me one question, and I shal...
What has more minivans than a dealership?
A Mormon church parking lot....
A man was walking along the road when he saw a Native American with his ears to the ground, muttering words.
The man walked over and listened to what the Native American was saying.
The Native American was muttering: "Big minivan, blue Honda, man driving with dog, Colorado license plate, travel 125 mile a hour."
The man was surprised and asked the Native American how he knows th...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Late one night, 2 nuns were driving a minivan down a dark country road. All of a sudden a dark shadow flys past the van. The nun driving said to the other nun "Did you see that?!". "See what?!". "The shadow that flew past?".
They kept driving down the road when the same shadow flew past. "Did...
The ice cream van thieves
Two bank thieves decided to plan their final job, a huge bank near the Sahara desert.
Their trick was to leave the crime scene in a ice - cream truck, this way the police never suspected them. This final heist however was to prove their last.
They arrived in an battered old minivan an...
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A couple young, entrepreneurial prostitutes, were riding around town with a sign on the top of their car that read: "Two Prostitutes – $50.00."
A police officer, seeing the sign, pulled the ladies over and advised that they will have to remove the sign or go to jail.
Right about that time a minivan passed by with a sign on the side of it that read: "Jesus Saves."
"How come you don’t stop them?" asked one of the girls.
We've all heard of "The Shocker"...
If not, "2 in the pink, 1 in the stink". You've definitely heard of that. Well, there's a similar one to that called "The minivan". 3 in the front, 5 in the back.
During a huge storm, a man's city calls for an emergency evacuation
As his neighbors are driving away, they offer him a seat in their minivan. He says, "No thank you. I believe in God, and God will protect me from this storm."
The flood waters start to rise and the man is standing on his balcony. A family in a fishing boat come by and offer a space on their b...
The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into hi...
Cop asks me...
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: Well, it isn't because there's a dead hooker in the trunk.
Cop: What are you saying?
Me: I'm saying this is a minivan. It doesn't HAVE a trunk.
When a family member unexpectedly dies, what's the proper waiting period before removing their stick figure from the back of the minivan?