This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Kentucky Derby is like sex on the first date.

There's a lot of build-up to the event, hearts are racing, tensions are high, everyone is super excited, and when the time finally comes and it's time to get started, it's over in 122 seconds....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Kentucky Derby is like sex..

...all this build up for two minutes of action.

Kentucky Derby joke

Two racehorses are in a bar getting drunk.

The first one says: "In 100 starts, I got 85 firsts, 10 seconds and 5 thirds."

The second racehorse says: "Well in 100 starts for me, I got 90 firsts, 7 seconds and 3 thirds."

They begin fighting about this.

The bartender, a grey...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys are watching the Kentucky Derby.

One of the guys, Jeff, is there, bragging about how he has a really fast dog that can almost beat the horses. He bets everyone there 300$ that their pets can’t beat his dog in a race. The other guy, Steve, is wearing a trench coat. Steve walks up to Jeff and takes him up on the bet.

After the...

The winner of the Kentucky Derby has been invited to the White House.

The stallion declined, stating: "If I wanted to look at a horse's ass, I would've come in second".

They call the Kentucky Derby the fastest two minutes in sports...

But they clearly haven't seen me start, then quit, a 5K.

Are you guys watching the Kentucky Derby?

Yay or neigh?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kentucky Derby trivia - Why don't female jockeys shave their pussies?

They like their fur long!

I'll show myself out...

[Long] The Farmers horse

There was a farmer who owned a small ranch with some livestock and two horses, Razzle and Dazzle. One day a traveling salesmen knocks on his door. While waiting for the farmer to answer he notices the horses racing around their pen. After he gives his sales pitch he says to the farmer:
"You know ...

I hate to beat a dead horse, but

If I’ve got enough money in the Kentucky Derby, you better believe I’ll do what’s necessary

So I saw Amy Schumer perform live...

The Kentucky Derby really is magical!

The tale of Hobbin & Noggin

One day a farmer's mare birthed two foals. One was named Hobbin, and the other Noggin. The two horses grew up and loved to race each other. One day the farmer noticed the two racing each other around the pasture and thought to himself, "Wow! These horses are quick!" So the next day he entered them i...

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