UPJOKE
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Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?

Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan

[Long] One day a Snail decides he’s moving a little too slow..

… so he decides it’s time to get a car. He doesn’t have a lot of money so he buys a used French sedan. The snail is so impressed how fast he gets around town.

From place to place he wizzes by this slug, beetle and worm friends. While that car isn’t a racer by any means, the snail doesn’t kno...

A man is driving home after a long day at work.

Frustrated by another day working for his insufferable boss, he fails to notice a pothole and blows a tire. Stranded on the side of the road, he begins to drag out his spare when suddenly a genie appears next to him.

“Greetings, mortal.” The genie says. “I have taken pity on you, and will th...

Recently Trump was asked if likes riding in the presidential Limo or the Sedan

He said he actually prefers driving a coup

Ford should manufacturer a sedan called the Ore

It would be the four-door Ford Ore

What do you call the world's most badass sedan?

A Liam Nissan

Why did Sauron buy the sedan instead of the coupe?

More doors.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man dies and meets God before going to heaven

God asks the man if he’s ever been unfaithful to his wife, to which the man replies that he has cheated several times. God then tells the man that in the afterlife the man will only be given an old, crappy car to drive.

Another man dies that day and meets God. God asks the man the same quest...

How many superhero’s can you fit in a sedan?

2 in the front, 2 in the back, and about 10 in the ashtray.

Looking into buying a Saturn Ion sedan..

All the reviews I have read have been positive or negative.

A woman wants to know if her 3 future sons-in-law will be thrustworthy... ... So she decides to take them one by one on a walk and pretend to slip and fall into the water to see what they will do. And so it goes.

On the first walk, she pretends to slip and falls into the water. The first son-in-law takes of his shoes & coat and jumps in the water. The next day there is new family sedan parked in front of the house. There is a letter for the son-in-law which says:

_Thank you for saving me, here is ...

Retiring Dr.

A doctor who delivered thousands of babies over his career is finally retiring. He had an odd habit but whenever he circumcised a baby boy he would throw the foreskin in a large gallon jar of formaldehyde. As he is cleaning out his office there sits this large Jar and he begins to think "What can I...

My chickens were laying to many eggs so I had to sell their coop.

They now have a chicken sedan.

Why does a chicken coup have two doors?

Because if it had four, it'd be a chicken sedan.

(Some joke I posted on FB years ago before I understood the point of social media.)

Farmer Smartass

A grandson goes to visit his grandfather's farm. He asks his grandfather, "Why does that chicken house have two doors?"

The grandfather replies, "It has two doors because it's a chicken coop. The one over there with four doors is a chicken sedan."

Before John was a traveling salesmen

Before John was a traveling salesman he worked door to door on foot. He actually came from an upper middle class family but had a healthy work ethic and a humble yet dull nature from aristocratic inbreeding a few generations back..

It was his birthday and his eccentric mother had told John he...

Three men arrive at a checkpoint near the gates of heaven

The first man walks up to god, who is reading the summary of his deeds before deciding which vehicle he is to use to drive to heavens gates with.

"I see you were quite unfaithful with your wife, cheating on her a total of three times." The man looks down in shame. "You are to drive up to heav...

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A woman's husband dies unexpectedly, and as per his wishes, she has him cremated.

Once she gets home, she sets his urn on their patio table. "Honey, there are so many things I wish I could have told you before you had passed." she says. "I don't know if you can hear me, but I'll do my best to say them all now."



She sits down in a chair, chin propped on her hands. "...

A man is washing the car with his son.

The son asks… “Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?”

Dad, " Son, When I was your age, my dad would wash 3 trucks and the sedan with my ass"

The old woman and the highway

A cop is driving down the highway one night when he passes a rickety sedan going 25 mph (about 40 km/h). He pulls the car over and asks the driver, a sweet little old woman, "Ma'am, why weren't you doing the speed limit?"

The lady replies, "But, officer, that sign said '25' and I was only obe...

What do you call an organised rebellion with twice as many people as usual?

A sedan d'état.

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Vehicles in Heaven

Three men go up to heaven at the same time. As they approach the Pearly Gates they have are greeted by a man at a podium in front of the gates. "Greetings" says the man "Before you go into heaven, you will be assigned a vehicle". The men think this is strange but they agree, "The quality of the vehi...

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Good Enough

After the funeral of her late husband, the widow took the urn of his cremated ashes home. She got out of her car, holding the urn, and said, "Frank... I always wanted a nice convertible, but you got me an economy sedan and said 'Good enough.'"

Then she turned to her house.

"I told you ...

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