Volvo has Thor’s Hammer Daytime Running Lights. For 2021, Lexus introduces Nagasaki Airbags...

You won’t even feel the impact.

What is a cowboy's favorite car?

You think it would be the Mustang, but he trusts his life with his reVolvo.

P.S. please no comments about the StetsonWagon....

A young kid is walking home from school when a car pulls up alongside him...

The driver says "get in the car".

The kid says "No way!" and keeps walking.

The driver says "Get in the car and I'll give you a candy bar!"

The kid says "No way. A candy bar won't do it."

The driver says "Get in the car and I'll give you a candy bar and twenty bucks!"
...

Just bought a Volvo from Neil Diamond on eBay.....

Swede car online

An old man is in his Volvo driving home from work...

... when his wife rings him on his cellphone.

"Honey", she says in a worried voice, "be careful. There was a bit on the news just now; some lunatic is driving the wrong way down the freeway".

"It's worse than that!", he replies, "There are hundreds of them!"

A 90 year old woman had just lost her husband of 70 years. She phoned the local paper to put her loss in the obituary.

The receptionist tells her that its £1 per word.
"Oh my. I don't have much money so can you just write 'Mort is dead,' please?"

Feeling sorry for the poor old lady, the receptionist tells her she can have another 3 words, free of charge.

The recently widowed OAP thinks for a seco...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why should you never sleep with a Volvo driver?

They never look to see if you're coming before they pull out...

Volvo pulls its ads from 'Hannity' after Moore coverage

Volvo owners begin smashing their cars in protest.

What's the difference between a Volvo and a Mercedes?

Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Volvo

3 men got to heaven

(English is not my native language, so please excuse any mistakes)


3 men died in an accident and got to heaven. They met God, who said that they would get a vehicle each. What it would be were decided based of how faithful the men had been to their wifes.


The first man look...

A Jewish man's wife dies. He wants to place an obituary in the local newspaper. The lady taking his order asks him what he'd like the obituary to say. He says just put "Rachel died" The lady explained he can can actually use five words as it's the same price as two. He says please put

"Rachel died. Volvo for sale"

What car develops over a long period of time?

A Volvo

A very cheap widow goes to a newspaper industry to write a eulogy for her late husband

"Alright," says the newspaper guy. "I'm sorry for your loss. It'll be one dollar per word."

The widow clutches her heart in shock, then says, "Fine. 'Husband died'."

"Sorry, ma'am, but the eulogy has to be a minimum of five words."

The woman sighs in exasperation and replies, "F...

3 men enter the gates of heaven

They are met by Saint Peter who explains in heaven they are given a vehicle. The quality is based on how faithful a partner they've been.
The first man receives a brand new Ferrari. He jumps in and takes off.
The second man receives a recent model Toyota Camry, somewhat satisfied he jumps in a...

Jamie the Jewish man died

His wife Ida rang the newspaper to put in his obituary

‘It’s $10 per word’ said the man at the newspaper

‘In that case please put “Jamie died”’ she said

He said ‘unfortunately it’s a minimum of 5 words’

‘Please put “Jamie died. Volvo for sale”’

Good news! I've just inherited an estate from my great grandfather!

Bad news, it's a 1975 Volvo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's this 17 years old kid who's taking an exam for his driving license..

The examinator says "It's night. You see a single light coming towards you.. What is it?"
K: "Well.. It is a motorbike! "
E: "No, no.. You have to be more specific. Is it a Ducati? A Yamaha? A Suzuki?"
K: "Ask me one more question! "
E: "Ok, ok.. It's night. You see two lights coming to...

If you ever feel like your job is meaningless, remember..

there is someone crash testing volvos

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