Why are racecar drivers the best people to go to for dating advice?

They're trained to look for red flags.

I just removed a Wig, some Lipstick and two Chicken Fillets off my racecar...

You could say I significantly reduced the drag.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Why do strippers make good racecar drivers?

Because they have good lap times

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Small cake day joke..

Went to the doctor about my fear of palidromes.. I was shaking by the time I got there at noon, then the bastard gave me xanax and told me he had a racecar!!

Whatโ€™s a racecar backwards?

Terrible

Racecar backwards is racecar...

but racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died.

me: what's a palindrome?

**teacher:** racecar

{10 years later}

**me: [bursting out of bank in ski mask]:** where's the palindrome?

**getaway driver:** [sitting in kayak]

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

What do you call a bisexual racecar driver?

The fast and the curious

Hey girl, are you a racecar?

Because 6 guys could service you in 12 seconds.

What do female racecar drivers wear?

a skkkkiiiirrrrrrrrrrttt.

My annoying cousin keeps bragging about sleeping in a racecar bed.

Jokes on him. I sleep in a real car.

Have you ever thought about the word racecar and how it's a palindrome?

Put it backwards and it spells racecar, put it sideways and it kills Paul Walker.

A man decides to buy a car...

So he goes to a car dealership.

The salesman says, "What kind of car are you looking for?"

"I want something fast," says the man.

So the salesman shows him some models.

"No, faster than that," says the man.

So the salesman shows him some more models.

"No, no...

Jokes for car guys

WHAT DO WE WANT?

RACECAR NOISES!!!

WHEN DO WE WANT IT?

NNNEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

If a piano player is called a pianist

Wouldn't a racecar driver be called a racist?

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Irving visits a nursing home

Irving is a Jewish widower who is getting up in years. His family is worried it may be time for Irving to go to a nursing home. They arrange for him to spend a weekend in a nursing home to see how he adjusts to it.

His eldest son Sheldon takes him to the home on Friday and tells his father he...

Depressed race car mechanic.

Scene: a psychiatrists practice:


'Doc, I'm a mechanic I work for a racecar driver. It's utterly depressing ... I get to fix his car up, maintain it, tune it to perfection. But never -not once- have I been allowed to take it for a spin. It's crushing a depressing to think that such a wonde...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Why are your hands covered in blood?

Two young children, a girl and a boy, are neighbours. One day they're playing naked in the boy's sandbox and the girl asks: "What's that?" pointing to the boy's crotch. He says he doesn't know. The boy asks: "What's that?" pointing to HER crotch. She doesn't know either...

So that night they ...

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