Individuals Jokes

You don’t applaud at the end of a movement.

The bouncer said, “Sorry, if you are going any further, you need some sort of identification.”

Though around 20 people registered, many couldn't come.

I'm sitting here trying to figure out my electricity bill.

They were fast friends!

The statement said “*It turns out that the tables have turned. This time we killed two stoners with one bird*”

As they say, "If you can't beat them, join them."

But the case went cold after repeatedly insisting it didn't know the victims' names.

Fortunately they were caught before they were able to reach the street.

I feel so smart knowing about this.

[This post is locked. You won't be able to comment.]

That is why individuals with no sense of Humor
have increased sense of self-importance and narcissism.

The pilots were the first to jump, they left two parachutes for the three remaining passengers: The smartest man in the world, a priest and an art student.

The smartest man in the world takes one without thought and says:

"It is evident that the world will need the likes of me. As I am... read more

The judge, a little thrown off by the individuals turns to the attractive girl clown and asks,
"Miss, what brings you to my courtroom today?"
The girl clown responds,
"I'm here because I was blowing bubbles!"
The judge, even more confused, turns to the second clown. This one being a very... read more

The government is urging the public not to panic buy based on the actions of a fusilli individuals.

Because 7 began a racially motivated crime spree on April 28th, 2000 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, which left five individuals dead and one paralyzed.

A handful of individuals were brought into the precinct, each with different amounts of cash and gold stuffed in their pockets. Some were professional heisters, others were just average con artists.

He was asked to distinguish between both groups based on how much they had hidden in their po... read more

A team of the smartest people on earth go to a distant planet, believed to have life. When they land they're greeted by 3aliens. They speak perfect english.

"Leave outsiders. This is our home planet, only trusted individuals are allowed here!"

The space group is quite surprised by t... read more

Cold, hard and has it's value artificially inflated because of a few select individuals

It was really funny. He said >![This section of the joke has been removed to protect the reputation of third party individuals.]!< It was really one of the better jokes he had told.

For those smug individuals that did not raise their hand, I'm curious how you inserted your legs then.

They’re pretty shady individuals.

It might seem like a splendid idea, but as much pain and suffering these individuals put the rest of us through... We still need women for survival of the species.

They all watch three people walk into a house across the road. After 20 minutes, only two people leave the same house.

The scientists are very confused about what has happened.

'The measurements varied, and therefore the measuring equipment was likely inaccurate,' declares the chemist,... read more

He is greeted by a beautiful nurse.

Nurse: Congratulations, sir, it's the year 2318. I have some good news and some bad news, though.

Man: Please tell me.

Nurse: Well, we had only last year perfected the technology to wake frozen individuals such as yourself with just one side-... read more

Since we're at the end of the presidential campaign, I figured some political humor might be in store. The following is a funny and true story shared with me by KC Williams who teaches AP Government at Santa Fe High School. In one of KC's classes, they were discussing the qualifications to be presid... read more

The bar tender says "hey, what do you think you're doing? We don't serve you here!"

And the Yogurts respond "Why? We're two cultured individuals."

Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who is a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, “We don’t serve your kind in here.” One of the yogurt cartons says to him, “Why not? We’re cultured individuals.”

Ordinarily, staring is creepy. But if you spread your attention across many individuals, then it's just people watching.

The three debate for months, with no real progression as such, until a post appears from a new user, claiming to be the purest, living descendant of Adam & Eve. He further claims, that to those who truly believe, he will grant the secret to human evolution.
All but the monk immediately dismi... read more