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Three scientists want to know how long can an organism live without shitting

They try to test it with a pig, so they put a plug in his butthole and start feeding him for days.

The first two weeks the pig is ok, but the third week the scientists see that the pig has become very very fat, so they decide to remove the plug from his ass.

The problem is they don't k...

What's the difference between Trump and a single cell organism? l.

Single cell organisms have a wall

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What do you call a homosexual photosynthetic eukaryotic organisms found in the Middle East?

Al-Gay

Is biology the study of living organisms...

Or just two ology's..

How do you transport a multi-celled organism?

Eukaryote

Known as the "one-day insect" the Mayfly has the shortest lifespan of all organisms...

But it still lives longer than my headphones.

The drone on Mars ran over a feline organism.

That's right - Curiosity killed the cat

I once dated a biologist.

I don't like to brag, but I always provided her with multiple organisms to keep her happy.

When two organisms mutually benefit, it's called "symbiosis"

When only one organism benefits, it's called "parasitism." When neither benefits, that's called "marriage."

Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

The drunk and the lecture

A drunk is approached by the police at 3 in the morning:

The cop asks:

-Where are you going in that state, at this time?

The drunk answers:

-I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and its lethal effects on the organism, the bad example, the nefarious consequences to ...

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Two idiots, Timmy and Tommy, are in a bar discussing how to make babies.

"My wife and me been trying to have a baby, but no luck yet." Says Timmy. "But we're trying everday."

"It doesn't work if you put it in her butt. Sure you doing the sex right?" Tommy asks.

"Yeah, I know how to make sex, I'm not a moron. Ya stick your man stick in her lady hole until y...

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A List of AP Botany Puns

Last semester I dicked around in AP Botany instead of listening to some stupid lecture senior year and came up with an extensive list of bad botanical puns and play on words. Enjoy!

How do trees hook up when they’re looking to have fun
Timber

What is a trees favorite social media we...

A research group was engaged in a study..

A research group was engaged in a study of longevity in mammals and had recently focused their attention on a particular species of porpoise, which they studied from their floating laboratory off the coast of Baja Mexico. They came to believe that, if fed just the right combination of nutrients, thi...

What came first? The chicken or the egg?

Humans' ability to classify living organisms.

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