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Inclusive Jokes

Today I was turned away from an LGBTQ organized event. To think I thought they were inclusive.

This is the last time I take my pack of lions to a pride parade.

I know this is unpopular to say in this inclusive culture but there are some races I don't like

Especially the 800 m dash

[original] Which band is the most tolerant and inclusive?

U2

My wife is amazing

She just bought me a $500,000 life insurance policy and a free all-inclusive trip to the Dominican Republic!

My mom was checking out some glossy brochures to travel to a place she’s never been where she’d be waited on hand and foot 24/7 with all inclusive dining and entertainment

I agreed and put her in a nursing home

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A musical joke [kinda NSFW]

A man won a weekend in 5 star hotel with all inclusive package - free food, drinks and presidential apartment.

Wanting to fully enjoy the package, the man visited each night the luxury restaurant and ordered the most expensive dishes and drinks.

At the end of his stay, one of the recep...

where do the French go during a battle?

An all inclusive Retreat

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mike dies and goes to hell...

And he's terrified, but then Satan shows up and quips "Dude, why are you crying? Look around!".

Mike looks around and notices the area is not, as he expected, a flaming inferno, but actually a nice beach area.

"I thought I was in hell?"

"You are, but our promotion team is REALL...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man broke up with his girlfriend and decided to go to Jamaica to cheer up.

He went to an all inclusive resort. He ate and drank like a king; the only problem was the beach outside the resort was a NUDE beach.

He was feeling self conscious because he had a tattoo of his girlfriend's name on his penis.

Erect it said "Wendy", but when flaccid, some letters got ...

Serious inquiries only

A friend of mine has Two Tickets for the 2016 Ryder Cup

They are Premier Box Seats plus Airfares and 5* Hotel All Inclusive Accommodation.

He didn't realize when he bought them, that this is the same day as his Wedding Day.

If you're interested and want to go instead of him, it'...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some big shots get together for a gentleman's night during Easter holidays.

Three CEO's of some big companies get together to smoke cigars and drink expensive whiskey.

They gathered at a chalet and brought a waiter with them to serve the drinks.

"Finally some alone time" says the first CEO. Sent my wife to an all inclusive spa in Austin. It cost me $10k but it...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend told me that I could …

… continue browsing the internet or have sex with her. Boy was she pissed when I put the laptop on her back.

I wasn't sure why she was so angry and showed her the Wikipedia page for logic operators in order to explain myself. She got so angry she threatened to leave me. I guess I insulted he...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke that’s got me various death threats

So there was a horse, and this horse was really talented. He was great on guitar. One day he found himself watching youtube and stumbled upon a Jimi Hendrix song which inspired him to start a cover. He practised this cover really hard, eventually becoming inspired to create a cover of a whole Jimi H...

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