UPJOKE
woundpaindamagesufferburnstinginjureharmachesmartanguishtormenttorturebruisewounded

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A women goes to the doctor because her hurts...

Doctor: " Where does it hurt exactly?"

Women: " At the entrance."

Doctor: "Well lady if you keep calling it an entrance then it's going to keep hurting"

A man went to visit his doctor because his arm is hurting.

"Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?" the man pleads.

The doctor rolls up the man's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk.

"Hello, Doctor," says the arm. "Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I'm desperate!"

"Aha!'' says the doctor. ''I see the problem. You...

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How did the man remove the Swiss Army knife from his safely without hurting himself?

Please answer soon it’s starting to hurt

What did the musician get after hurting himself?

A-minor injury

So which knee is hurting Walt?

Walt: “Disney”.

To all the people in Madrid that are hurting...

I feel your Spain.

My back has been hurting for a while now...

But I don't mind, it's spine.

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A Masochist asks a Sadist to Continue Hurting Him

A true sadist says "No!"

Why did the sheep keep hurting himself at the gym?

He had *baaaaaad* form.

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A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company's lawyer was questioning Clyde. "Didn't you say, at the moment of the accident, 'I'm fine.'" asked the lawyer?

Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the..."
"I did not ask you for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?'" Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessi...

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So my therapist asked me if I ever think about hurting myself or others

I told her “my weekend plans are none of your damn business!”

I ate a piece of fresh salmon that was marinated in vanilla and now my stomach is hurting....

I think I might have salmonilla.
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