Hundreds Jokes - 44 Hilarious Hundreds Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Is finding out your spouse sucked hundreds of dicks before getting married really such a big deal?

Or is my wife overreacting?

Can we ban "yo momma" jokes from this sub? They're old, stupid and have been done by literally everyone hundreds of times..

Just like yo mamma

I don't understand why they say hundreds of people lost in Squid Game.

In the end, 45.6 billion won.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A statue of a man and a statue of a woman stood looking at each other for hundreds of years.

One day a wizard, feeling sorry for the statues, brought them to life for 30 minutes. Right away, the two of them ran into some nearby bushes and you could hear all kinds of strange sounds and moans from there. After a while they came back out, giggling. The wizard told them "You have another 15 min...

What costs hundreds of millions of dollars but is worthless?

2nd place in a presidential election.

My gf is like the square root of negative one hundred

She's a perfect ten but imaginary

Hundreds of Russians are outside a bank,

grumbling about waiting hours in a long queue to make a withdrawl.

Suddenly one says '' I've had enough of this, I'm going to shoot Putin!"

He returns five hours later to the queue and his mate says '' did you kill him?''

he said ''no the queue was too long''

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Every day we have hundreds of people coming into this country with no skill, no grasp of the language and a total drain on our resources...

Babies are fucking useless.

Humans are scared of hippos because they're violent and responsible for hundreds of deaths per year, when in reality, people kill way more people per year...

...so that’s just being hippocritical...

Hundreds of armed men, snipers on the roofs, traffic blocked. What is that?

Peace conference.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to a bank every wednesday to deposit hundreds of thousands

He comes in with a big bag of money, every wednesday and deposits large amounts of money. The manager gets suspicious after a while and when the next wednesday comes, approaches the man:

-Good morning and welcome sir, you must be one the richest customers of our bank. We are thankful for choo...

Every year, hundreds of kids are shipped off to mime school...

...never to be heard from again.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had to pay hundreds of dollars for a stool sample test before I had my surgery.

That shit was expensive.

A Chinese factory recently had massive layoffs, leaving hundreds angry...

...at having to go back to school.

Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day.

Teach a man to fish and he will spend hundreds of dollars on equipment he will
use twice a year

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One Ukrainian Jew to another: "Would you share this imported bottle of Scotch with me?"

The other: "Of course I would. But we barely have money for food. Where did you get Scotch?"

First: "I traded some Russian caviar for it."

Second: "But how did you get Russian caviar?"

First: "I traded some calamari to them for it."

Second: "But we're hundreds of kilomete...

An old Soviet joke

A Soviet delegation visits an American car factory.

"Whose factory is that?" asks a Soviet visitor.

"It belongs to capitalist billionaire Henry Ford," answers the American guide.

"And whose are the hundreds of cars in the parking lot?" asks the visitor.

"They belong to th...

Guys, just remember that every yo mama joke that exists has been done hundreds of times by hundreds of different people.

Like your mom.

A Sensitive Guy (NSFW-ish)

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.

They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to hell...

The devil greets him and says "You have to pick your torture. Pick wisely because this will be your torture for eternity".

The man goes through hundreds of rooms but can't decide, until he sees a room where a man is sitting on a couch watching football on TV and getting a blowjob from a cheer...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Jar Full of Hundreds

A man walks into a bar and notices a jar full of $100 bills. He asks the bartender about the jar.

"That jar? You put in your $100 and you go over there behind the first door. See it?"

"Yeah", says the guy. "What's behind it?"

"The ugliest, fattest girl in this county. You have ...

“Son, in Vietnam, I killed hundreds of people”

Son: But dad you also said you were just a shipwright

Dad: Never said I was a good one

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So, theres a manliest of the men competition where hundreds of men compete to find out who is the strongest.

The competition consists of three stages first being a pit that leads into a sea where hungry sharks are everywhere. After that there is a mossy swamp filled with alligators. Finally a jungle where tons upon tons of lions are. After a day goes by and no one is able to complete this competition the a...

There are hundreds of features on a brand-new BMW; heated seats, bluetooth audio, laser-headlights, etc... Which among them goes completely ignored?

The turn signals.

Psychic: I’m sorry to say that you are going to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on your education.

Man: How do you know this?

Psychic: Mostly in tuition.

An Engineer accidentally goes to Hell instead of Heaven

An Engineer dies and goes to hell. He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly.

The moving walkway motor jammed, so he unjams it. People can get from place to place more easily.

The TV was grain...

Did you hear about the Jedi nun who kept accidentally picking up banthas, hundreds of feet into the air?

You can’t really blame her, it was force of habit.

Tragic news from the Nestle factory today as a worker was crushed to death under hundreds of boxes of chocolates.

He tried in vain to get help but every time he shouted, "The milky bars are on me!!" --his fellow workmates just cheered

Hundreds of thousands of people throughout history could have died from eating apples daily…

…due to not having access to a Dr when they needed one.

What has 2 syllables but hundreds of letters?

Postman

My (blonde) sister hates blonde jokes. I (redhead) told her I have a redhead joke for her. She was eager to hear it!

A redhead goes for a drive through the country, just enjoying the peaceful ride with her windows open. She has to stop as a shepherd is moving his flock across the road. The redhead gets out of her car to stretch and has an idea.

"Hey Mister! If I can guess how many sheep you have, may I keep...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ok so this is not a joke for everyone

Once upon a time there was a country that whenever a men grew up ‘til a certain age their dick would be cut, but how would they do it depends on what their job is.

One day the day to cut people’s dick off comes and there is a line of hundreds of men crying.
“What is your job?” “I’m a butc...

Someone stole hundreds of cans of Red Bull from our local store.

I don’t know how they can sleep at night.

Trump left hundreds of supporters stranded in the freezing cold last night

Which goes to show that even the biggest support can be turned blue

I have hundreds of jokes about cash machines

I just can’t think of one atm

After 15 years of marriage you find out your spouse had been with hundreds of men before you got hitched.

Is this a big deal or is my wife overreacting?

A Hundred Dollar Story

An Indian tourist walks into a curio shop in San Francisco. Looking around at the exotic, he notices a very lifelike, Life-sized bronze statue of a rat. It has no price tag, But is so striking he decides he must have it.
He takes it to the owner: "How much for the bronze rat?" "Twelve dollars...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime, and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with hundreds of other men.

There is a three year waiting list.

A businessman was flying on a plane surrounded by hundreds of kids. A lady went and sat down next to him.

"Are these all your kids?", she asked.

The man replied, "No. I work at a condom factory, and these are all the complaints."

Most iPhone owners don't know this one simple trick to save hundreds.

Buys android *

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three people arrive at the gates of Heaven

St Peter is processing them in. "Name and occupation, please?"

The first one says "Andrea Smith, I was a doctor."

"Of course. Doctors who save lives are allowed. Come in. Next?"

The second one says "Megan Jones, I was a nurse."

"Of course. Nurses who care for the sic...

On the way to a conference, a revered scientist is talking to his chauffeur

The driver asks him:

"–Boss, I've driven you around the country for over 10 years. I've listened to your talks, hundreds of times. I am pretty sure I know everything by heart now. Would you like to make a bet?

—What kind of bet?

—We look alike. You've never talked in this city. ...

An ice cream man has been found dead covered in hundreds and thousands...

The police think he topped himself.

There are hundreds of jokes about white sugar....

But when it comes to jokes about brown sugar... well... demerara

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.