Did you know what 50 cent did when he was hungry?

58

What did 50 Cent say when his Mom gave him a scarf she made?

Gee! You knit?

What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

What do you call a 25 cent hooker?

A quarter pounder.

After rapper 50 Cent announced he is voting for Trump,

he immediately became The 1 Percent.

If I had 50 cents from every time I failed a maths test

I'd have $8.32

My girlfriend of two years dumped me on her birthday. I dont know why she was so mad, I got her EXACTLY what she asked for; 10 cents and a bell...

...upon further reflection, I may have misunderstood "a dime and ring", my bad.

I am a big fan of the rapper 50 cent,

Or as they call him in Zimbabwe, 400 billion dollars.

50 cent gave Eminem a Christmas gift

Eminem was taken aback and choked up as he unwrapped the beautiful hand-made Christmas sweater.

Holding back tears, he turns to 50 and asks...

G-g-g-gee, you knit?

A latino goes to buy soda for 75 cents, he puts 65

The machine reads ‘dime’ so he gets closer and whispers Pepsi

What did 50 Cent’s friends say when they saw him crocheting a sweater?

G...you knit?

If I had 50 cents for everytime I failed a math test..

I would have $6.38.

So 50 cent was angry with his german girlfriend

He was about to hit her and she screamed 59!!!!!!!!!

“If you had a quarter," quizzed the teacher," and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents, how much money would you have?"

“One quarter." answered little Johnny.

“You don't know your arithmetic!" snapped the teacher shaking her head.

Little Johnny shook his head too, "You don't know my dad!"

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, ...

2 pac of eminems for 50 cents?

Man thats ludacris!

In the word "scent", is the S or the C silent?

Not even *sc*ience can explain that...

A JOKE MY DAD CAME UP WITH

Since the united states has a nationwide coin shortage, does that mean we lack common cents?

A little old lady sold pretzels on the corner for fifty cents each

A little old lady sold pretzels on the street corner for fifty cents each. Every day, a young lawyer would exit his office building at lunch, and as he passed her pretzel stand, he'd leave two quarters. However, he never took a pretzel.

This went on for nearly five years.

Even though ...

Why can't Lincoln be arrested?

He's in a cent.

As the United States reopens, the federal government has issued a rapid coronavirus test that’s just 25 cents.

Heads is positive. Tails is negative.

Why is it a penny for your thoughts but you have to put your two cents in?

Somebody’s making a penny.

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A woman visits her mother and tell her she's divorcing her husband.

The mother replies:

But why? Your husband is super kind, good looking and is a millionaire. You're living in a castle, you're driving a rolls royce, you even have butlers!

Yes mother, but he is obsessed with anal sex. Everyday ha wants to put it in my ass.

Before i met him my as...

I hate that ATMs don't dispense coins.

It just doesn't make cents.

Curtis Jackson, aka 50 cent, considering to run for office. His first campaign slogans released.

Change we can believe in! The change we need!

Two Sisters...

One blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own stock.

They ...

Married couple during hard financial times....

A man and his wife are having hard financial times and decide that the husband will pimp the wife out.



The man parks and waits while his wife goes around the corner to stir up business.



At the end of the night, the wife comes back to the car, and her husband asks how mu...

What happened to the beef between 50 Cent and Ja Rule?

51

50 cent gave Eminem a really high quality sweater for xmas. EMINEM was super thankful and said to him

GEE, YOU KNIT.

Who knew.

A homeless man called me an idiot, so I told him I was suing for emotional distress.

He told me that I knew he was poor and that I wasn't making any cents.

50 cents

This kid goes to his dad and say
- Dad I want to go to a 50 cents concert and I need money
The dad gives him $1 and say
- take your sister with you

Did you guys hear they’re thinking about closing the Philadelphia mint?

Im not opposed, it just makes cents

I needed some change in my life

So I decided to start a coin collection. I know it seems odd but it makes cents to me.

What did the dollar say to the yen?

You are so invaluable, it doesn’t even make cents!

Lawyer: Your honor, my client is trapped in a penny

Judge: What?

Lawyer: he's in a cent!

There is a coin shortage in America

They are officially out of Common Cents

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This is the story of 5 cents.

Take five pennies...lay them out in a row. As you tell the joke slide one into a different row.

You smell anything? There's a scent.
You see any fruit? There's a pear.
You see any cars? There's 3 Lincolns.
You see any snakes? There's 4 copper heads.
You see any pussy? Not for 5 ce...

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A cabbie is waiting outside a Vegas casino when a smartly-dressed man runs out in a state of extreme distress.

He comes up to the cab and says "You've got to get me to the airport straight away! I'm needed in New York as soon as possible, there's millions at stake!" and the cabbie says "Sure, no problem, fella, just fifty bucks for the fare and we're good to go".

The smartly-dressed man says "This is ...

A man, frantic rushes up to the bar

Gimme twelve shots quick!! He says. The bartender starts pouring them out as the man starts slamming them. After the last shot the bartender says "damn! You sure drank those fast!! The man says "buddy, you'd drink fast too, if you had what I got!" "Jeeze, what do you have bud?" The bartender says....

Did you hear the one about the man who was unjustly trapped inside of a penny?

He yelled, "Let me outta here. I'm in a cent!"

A coin manufacturer was fired the other day because he made no cents.

I tried to help, but he wouldn’t change.

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A man walks into a bar with a donkey and an ostrich.

He sits down at the counter and asks for a beer.

“That will be 5.98$, sir.”, the bartender says.

The man, puts his hand into his pocket and pulls out 5 dollars and 98 cents in exact change.

“How much will it cost to buy everyone here a round of drinks?”, the man asks, taking a s...

A photographer was on vacation

A photographer on vacation was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that
read '€10,000 per call'.
The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.
The priest replied that it w...

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.

"Certainly sir, that'll be one cent."
"One Cent? ' the man exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked: "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?"
"A nickel" the barman replied.
"A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The bartender replied,...

What do you call it when you return 5 cents to someone who dropped it?

Nickelback

Santa was 5 cents short.

Jolly old saint; nickel-less.

Sharp Retort

A young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling like expensive perfume. She turns to an old woman and says arrogantly, "Giorgio Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!"
Another young, beautiful woman gets onto the elevator and also smells of very expensive perfume. She arrogantly turns to the ol...

A young boy decides he would like more pocket money

so he comes up with a plan of helping people carry their groceries to the car for a small service fee.

He goes to the closest supermarket and asks every person that comes out if they would need help. Some people agree and give him his money, some people say they don't need help.

A lit...

What did 50 Cent's grandmother's say when he handed her a homemade sweater?

Gee, you knit?

Why was Abraham Lincoln never put in jail?

Because he was in a cent.

I know it’s stupid but c’mon

The machine at the coin factory stopped working..

It doesn't make any cents!

My wife always talks like an empty tip jar

Such non cents

Did you hear about 50 Cent's clever new song about the small, detail-oriented urban cat?

They're calling it "Fiddy's witty itty bitty nitty gritty city kitty ditty".

For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 80 cents. That is outrageous.

Why is the man only left with 20 cents?

What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck.

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The 5 Penny Joke

I have 5 pennies. I lay one on a table.

"Smell anything?"
I point to the penny.
"There's a cent."

I lay a second penny down.
"See any fruit?"
"There's a pair."

Third penny.
"See any cops?"
"There's three coppers right there."

4th.
"See any cars?"...

Why are piggy banks so wise?

They're filled with common cents.

I quit smoking once for six years after buying a forty two cent box of toothpicks...

...after six years they were pretty gross so I started smoking again.

I feed and clothe a child in Africa for 30 cents a day.

Ofcourse that's nothing compared to what it cost to send him there

An old millionaire is asked how he gained his wealth...

He says: "When I was a young man in the middle of the Great Depression, all I had was five cents. With that five cents, I bought an apple, shined and scrubbed it all day, and at the end of the day, I sold it for ten cents. With the ten cents, I bought two apples, scrubbed and shined them all day, an...

A man and a woman argue over the custody of their child. The woman screams, "The child is mine! I birthed him from my own flesh and blood and carried him through labour! All you did was screw me, you don't deserve him!"

The man calmly replies, "Tell me, if I put ten cents in a vending machine and a drink pops out, does it belong to me or the vending machine?"

I’m going to hell for this.

What happens when you remove 90% talent from 50 cent?

You get a Nickelback

I bought a 2000's Boy band online for only five cents, but it never came in the mail.

I want my Nickelback

What do you get if you cross Groot with the rapper Fifty Cent?

About tree-fiddy

My favorite rapper is 50 cent

Or as the British people now call him, 10,000 pounds.

What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent, featuring nickelback

Son: Hey dad, can I borrow ten dollars in Bitcoin?

Dad: Twenty dollars and thirteen cents? Why in God's name do you need to borrow nine dollars and sixty-seven cents?

Buying my first box of condoms

A young man buys his first pack of condoms for $10. The clerk says “that’ll be $10.60.” The boy says “I only have $10. What’s the extra 60 cents for?” The clerk says “That’s for the tax on ‘em.” The boy says, “Ooh. I thought they stayed on by themselves.”

You can borrow five cents and no one will ask you to return them.

Apparently, people don't like a nickel back.

If I had a nickel for every time I gave someone my two cents...

I'd have 60% gross margins.

It's high time the U.S. government abandoned the penny...

It just doesn't make cents, for it's obsolescent.

Stopped to put air in my tires today. The pump cost $1.50! I remember when those things used to only cost 25 cents.

Guess the price has adjusted for inflation.

I really love the rapper 50 cent

Or as what we here in Zimbabwe call him.
4.563 billion dollars.

Edit: This is my first post. Thank you for the 9 likes.

A man walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar and orders tons of shots of whiskey, he begins downing and downing them, and after he gets through them all, he says to the bartender: “I shouldn’t be drinking these with what I’ve got...”
The bartender then replies “Why, what have you got?”

“50 cents”

Cashier: you're 8 cents short

Me: it's only 8 cents can you just let it slide

Cashier: no

Me: *slides cashier 20 dollars* what about now

What do you call an indigenous person who can’t stop giving out his two cents?

Opinionative

What do you call a jail cell without five cents inside?

A nickleless cage.

The poor father of a Chef sees an ad in the local newspaper: "Come visit the Carnival and see our newest attraction, the Great Winged Monster!"

So the man makes his way down to the Carnival and pays the $2.00 admission price to get inside.

While inside the Carnival grounds he walks around, seeing ads for rides, games, food, and even shows! After a couple hours he finally sees it, a sign outside an obscure looking tent saying 'Great ...

I was tempted by an offer which read, “Sausage Biscuits 2 for $1.00". "How much is it for one?” I asked.

"75 cents”, she replied.
"Ok, I'll have the other one".

It only cost 5 cents to get into our local aquarium, as long as you're camping, or dressed as a dolphin,

So, to all in tents and porpoises, it's free!

They put honest Abe on the penny

because hes in a cent.

One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race.

Before the next race, as the horses began lining up, Mitch watched with interest the old priest step onto the track. Sure enough, as the 5th race horses came to the starting gate the priest made a blessing on the forehead of one of the horses.

Mitch made a beeline for a betting window and p...

Two guys are walking down the street in Florida and they see a sign outside a bar that says "10 cent Martinis" and they decide to go in. They don't believe it, but decide to order anyway. The bartender makes two large Belvedere martinis with blue cheese olives and says "That will be 20 cents."

The two guys can't believe it, but drink up and order again. While the bartender is making the drinks, they ask him "How can you afford to do this?" The bartender responds, "I always wanted to own a bar where people could drink cheaply and then I won the lottery." One of the patrons responded, "That...

What is the most delicious number in French? Cent? Deux cent? Trois cent?

C’est croissant!

I don't understand why Youtube demonetized my videos.

It just makes no cents.

A joke I made for my fellow Nick's out there :

Don't ask me for 5 cents anytime soon...

because I'm Nicholas.

50 Cent is a very insightful person. Wherever he goes, he tailors his shows to be inoffensive to local cultures and customs.

At his latest gig in Harare he performed under the name "4 Billion Dollars".

Why didn't the penny do well at school?

He didn't have much cents.

(My 9 year old just made it up)

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If I had one dollar for every sexist joke I've made

I'd have 79 cents

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The wage gap is sexist, because a woman gets 70 cents for every dollar a man makes...

... then the man is only left with 30 cents. That's messed up.

A homeless man asked me if he could get fifty cents for a sandwich.

I told him, “I don’t know, let me see the sandwich.”

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