What did 50 cent do when he was hungry?

58

A waitress at a diner gives a man his check. As he gets up to leave, he puts down the amount for the check plus three cents for the tip. The waitress notices this and approaches him before he leaves.

Waitress: You know, I can tell a lot about a person by each of the coins that are left.
Man: Okay, what do these pennies tell you about me?

Waitress: This first one tells me that you are very thrifty.
Man: Hmm. Yes, that's true. Go on.

Waitress: This second one tells me that you ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Rapper 50 cent just came out as bisexual…

He’s now called 50/50.

What’s a noodle that only costs one cent?

Penne

For every Dollar a man makes a woman makes 70 cents. That's really unfair.

That only leaves the man with 30c.

What do they call the rapper "50 Cent" in Venezuela?

$1,554,270.59

I am a big fan of Fifty Cent.

Or as we call him in Zimbabwe: **Ten Billions Dollars.**

An old joke I can't find on Reddit. Here we go...

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from re-possessing the ranch they need to purchase a bull from a stockyard in a far-away town so that they can breed their own stock. Th...

What did 50 Cent say when his Mom gave him a scarf she made?

Gee! You knit?

What do you call a 25 cent hooker?

A quarter pounder.

A man asked God: "what's a million years to you?"

God replied: "to me it's only a minute"

"And what's a million dollars?"

"To me, it's only a cent"

"So... can I have one of your cents?"

"Sure, just give me a minute."

If I had 50 cents for everytime I failed a math test..

I would have $6.38.

If I had 50 cents from every time I failed a maths test

I'd have $8.32

My girlfriend of two years dumped me on her birthday. I dont know why she was so mad, I got her EXACTLY what she asked for; 10 cents and a bell...

...upon further reflection, I may have misunderstood "a dime and ring", my bad.

What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

“If you had a quarter," quizzed the teacher," and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents, how much money would you have?"

“One quarter." answered little Johnny.

“You don't know your arithmetic!" snapped the teacher shaking her head.

Little Johnny shook his head too, "You don't know my dad!"

A customer asked a grocer, "How much is a banana?"

Grocer: $1

Customer: Would you sell it for .60 cents?

Grocer: You could only get the skin for that price.

Customer: Here's .40 cents for the banana, keep the skin.

A guy runs into a bar says to the bartender

"Quick! Give me 50 shots of your best whiskey!"

The bartender lays out 50 shot glasses and fills them with the best whiskey he has.

The man pounds them down, one immediately after another.

After the last glass, the bartender says "Wow! I've never seen anyone take that many shots...

50 cent gave Eminem a Christmas gift

Eminem was taken aback and choked up as he unwrapped the beautiful hand-made Christmas sweater.

Holding back tears, he turns to 50 and asks...

G-g-g-gee, you knit?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A stockbroker walks past a kid selling lemonade

“Hey mister, ya want some lemonade?”

The stockbroker is just getting out of his brand new BMW in a nice tailored suit. He was about to walk past when he a double take at the sign that says “Lemonade $50”.


“Your sign is wrong kid. I think you mean fifty cents.”

The little gi...

So 50 cent was angry with his german girlfriend

He was about to hit her and she screamed 59!!!!!!!!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wish -

### A man walks into a bar with a donkey and an ostrich.

He sits down at the counter and asks for a beer.


“That will be 5.98$, sir.”, the bartender says.


The man, puts his hand into his pocket and pulls out 5 dollars and 98 cents in exact change.


“How mu...

What did 50 Cent’s friends say when they saw him crocheting a sweater?

G...you knit?

What concert costs 45 cents?

50 Cent feat. Nickelback


Go ahead, down vote me to oblivion

A latino goes to buy soda for 75 cents, he puts 65

The machine reads ‘dime’ so he gets closer and whispers Pepsi

Did you hear the one about the dollar bill factory?

Never mind, it doesn't make cents

2 pac of eminems for 50 cents?

Man thats ludacris!

What happened when the Bank teller went crazy?

All I got was non cents.

A little old lady sold pretzels on the corner for fifty cents each

A little old lady sold pretzels on the street corner for fifty cents each. Every day, a young lawyer would exit his office building at lunch, and as he passed her pretzel stand, he'd leave two quarters. However, he never took a pretzel.

This went on for nearly five years.

Even though ...

As the United States reopens, the federal government has issued a rapid coronavirus test that’s just 25 cents.

Heads is positive. Tails is negative.

A man walks into a bar and orders seven shots of tequila

The bartender lines up the shots, and the man starts taking them one after another.

The bartender says "wow you're drinking those pretty fast"

The guy says "you would too if you had what I have"

The bartender steps back cautiously "what do you have?"

The guy says "fifty c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Rags To Riches Success Story

A real touching success story! 

Every morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walks to the corner for a shoe shine.  He sits in an armchair, examines the Wall Street Journal and the shoe shiner buffs his shoes to a mirror shine. 

One morning the shoe shiner asks the CEO: "What do...

Why is it a penny for your thoughts but you have to put your two cents in?

Somebody’s making a penny.

50 cents

This kid goes to his dad and say
- Dad I want to go to a 50 cents concert and I need money
The dad gives him $1 and say
- take your sister with you

So my buddy told me that India was going to start making single rupees out of bread

I told him that sounds like naan cents

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You decide to get some new water storage tanks for your house out in the countryside.

The plumber doing the installation, some guy called Terry, arrives hours late, completes the job way over schedule and overcharges you, so you give him the finger and pay him in one-cent coins (which you've saved for occasions like this). Terry says nothing and leaves, but unbeknownst to you, he fir...

50 cent gave Eminem a really high quality sweater for xmas. EMINEM was super thankful and said to him

GEE, YOU KNIT.

Who knew.

Curtis Jackson, aka 50 cent, considering to run for office. His first campaign slogans released.

Change we can believe in! The change we need!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three couples go on a camping trip.

On their last day, the men decide they want to go explore a cave, while the women choose to hang out at the campsite.

After a while of exploring the cave, it forked into 3 different paths. The men agree to all follow one path and meet up in an hour to tell the others what they had found.
<...

What happened to the beef between 50 Cent and Ja Rule?

51

I invested in a coin making machine

It just made cents.

Did you know Johnny Cash and Eddie Money were really good friends?

They both had common cents.

Today I thought I had a quarter in my shoe which didn’t make sense

Turns out it was a nickel which made even less cents.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told my wife that I was going to stop running around my local roads and join a gym instead.

“Why?” she asked. “You’re in much better shape than you were before, and it hasn’t cost a cent!”

“Yes” I replied, “But I’m tired of having to outrun that fucking coyote.”

A charity office noticed that their town's most successful lawyer had never given any of his hundreds of thousands of dollars to the charity. One of the charity reps called the lawyer to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that, despite your wealth, you haven't given a cent to charity," said the charity rep. "Wouldn't you like to make at least a small donation?"

"Did you research also tell you that my mother is dying of cancer?" replied the lawyer.

"No," answered the charity rep.
<...

Married couple during hard financial times....

A man and his wife are having hard financial times and decide that the husband will pimp the wife out.

The man parks and waits while his wife goes around the corner to stir up business.

At the end of the night, the wife comes back to the car, and her husband asks how much she made.
...

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband and wife are having money trouble and decide the wife needs to work the streets as a hooker.

Two days later she comes back with $225.25. The husband says "that's good, but what cheap bastard gave you 25 cents?" The wife responds "all of them"

My friend dropped a penny down their garbage disposal, now it no longer works...

...I suggested she drop another one down there to see if it would dislodge the first. I was just giving her my two-cents.

A JOKE MY DAD CAME UP WITH

Since the united states has a nationwide coin shortage, does that mean we lack common cents?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This is the story of 5 cents.

Take five pennies...lay them out in a row. As you tell the joke slide one into a different row.

You smell anything? There's a scent.
You see any fruit? There's a pear.
You see any cars? There's 3 Lincolns.
You see any snakes? There's 4 copper heads.
You see any pussy? Not for 5 ce...

A coin manufacturer was fired the other day because he made no cents.

I tried to help, but he wouldn’t change.

I remember when it used to cost 25 cents to fill my tires at the gas station. Now it costs $1.25!

Inflation is getting out of hand.

inflation

There’s the story of an old lady selling pretzels for 25 cents on a corner in New York. Every day a young man passes her at lunchtime and drops a quarter in the cup but doesn’t take a pretzel. She never says a word. He does this for three years, until one day he drops the quarter in her cup and she ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Russian Jew decides to emigrate to Israel

At Moscow airport the customs officials stop him when they find a statue of Lenin in his luggage and ask what it is.

He replies, "I think you meant "Who is this?" This my friend, is Comrade Lenin, who laid the foundations of socialism and allowed Russia to prosper. I take a statue of him wit...

In the word "scent", is the S or the C silent?

Not even *sc*ience can explain that...

What do you call it when you return 5 cents to someone who dropped it?

Nickelback

My favorite rapper is 50 cent

Or as the British people now call him, 10,000 pounds.

Did you hear about 50 Cent's clever new song about the small, detail-oriented urban cat?

They're calling it "Fiddy's witty itty bitty nitty gritty city kitty ditty".

I feed and clothe a child in Africa for 30 cents a day.

Ofcourse that's nothing compared to what it cost to send him there

Santa was 5 cents short.

Jolly old saint; nickel-less.

What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent, featuring nickelback

Why was Abraham Lincoln never put in jail?

Because he was in a cent.

I know it’s stupid but c’mon

What happens when you remove 90% talent from 50 cent?

You get a Nickelback

Stopped to put air in my tires today. The pump cost $1.50! I remember when those things used to only cost 25 cents.

Guess the price has adjusted for inflation.

I don't understand why people pay for things with exact dollar amounts...

... It makes no cents.

I quit smoking once for six years after buying a forty two cent box of toothpicks...

...after six years they were pretty gross so I started smoking again.

A man and a woman argue over the custody of their child. The woman screams, "The child is mine! I birthed him from my own flesh and blood and carried him through labour! All you did was screw me, you don't deserve him!"

The man calmly replies, "Tell me, if I put ten cents in a vending machine and a drink pops out, does it belong to me or the vending machine?"

I’m going to hell for this.

I bought a 2000's Boy band online for only five cents, but it never came in the mail.

I want my Nickelback

What's the cheapest concert you could attend?

50 Cent featuring Nickleback.

Only $153.45 after taxes and Ticketmaster fees.

What do you get if you cross Groot with the rapper Fifty Cent?

About tree-fiddy

If I had a nickel for every time I gave someone my two cents...

I'd have 60% gross margins.

What do you call a jail cell without five cents inside?

A nickleless cage.

Cashier: you're 8 cents short

Me: it's only 8 cents can you just let it slide

Cashier: no

Me: *slides cashier 20 dollars* what about now

I really love the rapper 50 cent

Or as what we here in Zimbabwe call him.
4.563 billion dollars.

Edit: This is my first post. Thank you for the 9 likes.

I'll never understand people who fear change

It's like they have no cents at all

What do you call an indigenous person who can’t stop giving out his two cents?

Opinionative

I hate that ATMs don't dispense coins.

It just doesn't make cents.

It only cost 5 cents to get into our local aquarium, as long as you're camping, or dressed as a dolphin,

So, to all in tents and porpoises, it's free!

If 50 cent were a woman.. would her name be 35 cent?

Credit : twitter @the_anastasia

50 Cent is a very insightful person. Wherever he goes, he tailors his shows to be inoffensive to local cultures and customs.

At his latest gig in Harare he performed under the name "4 Billion Dollars".

What is the most delicious number in French? Cent? Deux cent? Trois cent?

C’est croissant!

There is a coin shortage in America

They are officially out of Common Cents

What's the most logical building in the USA?

The US Mint.. it makes a lot of cents.

A homeless man asked me if he could get fifty cents for a sandwich.

I told him, “I don’t know, let me see the sandwich.”

Two guys are walking down the street in Florida and they see a sign outside a bar that says "10 cent Martinis" and they decide to go in. They don't believe it, but decide to order anyway. The bartender makes two large Belvedere martinis with blue cheese olives and says "That will be 20 cents."

The two guys can't believe it, but drink up and order again. While the bartender is making the drinks, they ask him "How can you afford to do this?" The bartender responds, "I always wanted to own a bar where people could drink cheaply and then I won the lottery." One of the patrons responded, "That...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman visits her mother and tell her she's divorcing her husband.

The mother replies:

But why? Your husband is super kind, good looking and is a millionaire. You're living in a castle, you're driving a rolls royce, you even have butlers!

Yes mother, but he is obsessed with anal sex. Everyday ha wants to put it in my ass.

Before i met him my as...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.