UPJOKE
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What concert only costs 45 cents?

50 Cent featuring Nickleback

I heard 50 Cent wasn’t expected at the half time show

I didn’t think it was a surprise he came out after two quarters

What does 50 Cent call himself in Russia?

50,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 rubles

Russian Ruble is now worth less than 1 U.S. Cent after SWIFT Bank Sanctions

I think it's time we start calling the Ruble for what really is: Rubble

I asked 50 Cent for some advice

Now he is 48 Cent

Anyone see 50 cent perform at the Super Bowl?

Inflation is real

Did you know that 50 cent's mother was german? Every time he did something wrong, she screamed

59!

Putin once said: “I really like 50 cent”

“Or as we call him in Russia, 4 million ruble”.

Do you know what 50 cent did when he got hungry?

58

The rapper 50 Cent is known by many names

For instance, in Russia they call him 1352 Ruble

**Edit:** Make that 1459 Ruble

Due to recent changes, 50 cent has changed his citizenship to the UK.

After experiencing weight gain, he is being converted to UK currency and will now be known as "50 pounds".

If I had 50 cents for every time I'd read a 50 cent joke today...

I'd have about tree fiddy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A wife and husband are having money issues. One day they decide to have the wife work the corner. Later that night the husband goes to pick the wife up. He asks, "How much did you make, sweetie?" She answers, "I made $200.50." The husband says, "What asshole gave you 50 cents?"

She replies, "All of them."

What is 50 cent known as in Zimbabwe?

Eighty million dollars

My girlfriend of two years dumped me on her birthday. I dont know why she was so mad, I got her EXACTLY what she asked for; 10 cents and a bell. ..

...upon further‍ reflection, I may own misunderstood "a dime and ring", my bad.

I love 50 Cent

Or as we call him in Venezuela, 60 billion bolívar

Last year a guy took his Blonde girl friend to the Superbowl

They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked it.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the

tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't

understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."<...

What happens when 50 Cent eats his food?

58.

Fifty ate.


Okay I’ll just see myself out.. sorry.

What do you call a 25 cent hooker?

A quarter pounder.

A man on his retirement, purchased a house situated near a high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace, then the new school year began.

One afternoon early into the first semester, three young boys came down the street, beating merrily on every bin they passed.

They did this the following day and the day's after that, for a week, until the man decided it was time to take some action.

The next afternoon, he walked out ...

Every morning, the CEO of a major bank in Manhattan went to the corner where a shoeshine man was always there.

He used to sit on the chair, read the Wall Street Journal, and the shoeshine man gave his shoes a shiny, great look.

One morning, the shoeshine man asks the CEO:
"What do you think of the stock market situation?"

The CEO arrogantly asks him:
"Why are you so interested in this...

For every Dollar a man makes a woman makes 70 cents. That's really unfair.

That only leaves the man with 30c.

went to the gas station to pump up my car tire... and the guy charged me 50 cents. I said “it was only 20 gents last week”.

He said “that’s the price of inflation”

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Rapper 50 cent just came out as bisexual…

He’s now called 50/50.

A waitress at a diner gives a man his check. As he gets up to leave, he puts down the amount for the check plus three cents for the tip. The waitress notices this and approaches him before he leaves.

Waitress: You know, I can tell a lot about a person by each of the coins that are left.
Man: Okay, what do these pennies tell you about me?

Waitress: This first one tells me that you are very thrifty.
Man: Hmm. Yes, that's true. Go on.

Waitress: This second one tells me that you ...

What’s a noodle that only costs one cent?

Penne

What did 50 Cent say when his Mom gave him a scarf she made?

Gee! You knit?

I am a big fan of Fifty Cent.

Or as we call him in Zimbabwe: **Ten Billions Dollars.**

Innocence

Lawyer: Your Honor, my client was trapped in a penny, she could've never stolen anything.

Judge: What do you mean?


Lawyer: She's in a cent.

A guy walks into a bar and says “Give me a shot of your finest Whiskey, and pour one for yourself on me!”

The bartender is surprised but pleased, so he pours two shots of the most expensive Scotch in the house.

They toast and drink up. After a few moments the man gets up and walks towards the door without paying. The bartender chases after him and says “hey what’s the big idea?! You haven’t paid...

Nowadays kids have it so easy. When I was their age, I had nothing but $3 in my pocket. So, what did I do?

I bought a house, started a family, and put the remaining 75 cents into a savings account for emergencies.

If I got 50 cents for every failed math exam

I’d have $ 6.30 now.

What's a Russian's favourite rapper?

50 Cent

Or as they say in Russia, 10 million rubles

What concert costs 45 cents?

50 Cent feat. Nickelback


Go ahead, down vote me to oblivion

I had gotten a coupon for 50% off an Arizona Ice Tea yesterday.

After I bought the can an opened it, I suddenly heard a bunch of beats and rap music coming out of the can. I was really confused at why my beverage was playing rap music at me, but then I realized why.

I had gotten 50 cent Ice T.

Inflation is really getting out of hand..

That’s just my 3 cents.

Imagine a Coin Machine, that doesn't make coins.

It doesn't make any cents!

A brunette and her blonde sister live in the rural Southwest US, having inherited their family ranch.

The Great Depression hit them hard, and they only have $600 left.



Fearing that their ranch would be repossessed, the brunette goes to buy a bull so they can breed their own stock. She tells her sister "I'll come and contact you when I make the purchase", and promptly departs.

<...

There are four quarters in the Superbowl

Thats why they had 50 cent at halftime

50 cent gave Eminem a Christmas gift

Eminem was taken aback and choked up as he unwrapped the beautiful hand-made Christmas sweater.

Holding back tears, he turns to 50 and asks...

G-g-g-gee, you knit?

Nickel & Dime Dining

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer. "Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent." "One Cent?" the man exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked: "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?" "A nickel," the barman replied.
"A nickel?" exclaimed the man.
"Where's ...

What did 50 Cent’s friends say when they saw him crocheting a sweater?

G...you knit?

“If you had a quarter," quizzed the teacher," and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents, how much money would you have?"

“One quarter." answered little Johnny.

“You don't know your arithmetic!" snapped the teacher shaking her head.

Little Johnny shook his head too, "You don't know my dad!"

Did you hear about the cruise-ship swindler who was charged fifty cents?

He was a con fined two quarters.

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A cabbie is waiting outside a Vegas casino when a classically dressed man runs out in a state of extreme distress.

He comes up to the cab and says "You've got to get me to the airport straight away! I'm needed in New York as soon as possible, there's millions at stake!" and the cabbie says "Sure, no problem, fella, just fifty bucks for the fare and we're good to go".


The smartly-dressed man says "Th...

2 pac of eminems for 50 cents?

Man thats ludacris!

50 cent gave Eminem a really high quality sweater for xmas. EMINEM was super thankful and said to him

GEE, YOU KNIT.

Who knew.

A little old lady sold pretzels on the corner for fifty cents each

A little old lady sold pretzels on the street corner for fifty cents each. Every day, a young lawyer would exit his office building at lunch, and as he passed her pretzel stand, he'd leave two quarters. However, he never took a pretzel.

This went on for nearly five years.

Even though ...

My favorite rapper is 50 cent

Or as the British people now call him, 10,000 pounds.

50 cents

This kid goes to his dad and say
- Dad I want to go to a 50 cents concert and I need money
The dad gives him $1 and say
- take your sister with you

An old joke I can't find on Reddit. Here we go...

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from re-possessing the ranch they need to purchase a bull from a stockyard in a far-away town so that they can breed their own stock. Th...

Curtis Jackson, aka 50 cent, considering to run for office. His first campaign slogans released.

Change we can believe in! The change we need!

As the United States reopens, the federal government has issued a rapid coronavirus test that’s just 25 cents.

Heads is positive. Tails is negative.

A latino goes to buy soda for 75 cents, he puts 65

The machine reads ‘dime’ so he gets closer and whispers Pepsi

My newspaper had a story about a sovereign citizen “going commando” in public.

They got charged for indie-cent exposure.

I heard Venezuelans like 50 Cent

But they call him two thousand dollars.

I overheard some people talking about the english language.

I decided to put in my two cents worth. One said that the English language is confusing. "It's," I agreed. The other said, "Oh yeah? Have you had an education on it?" "I've," I responded. "So what? You some kinda english wizard or something?" I responded simply, "Some would say: I'm."

I made little coins out of some Indian flatbread

I thought they were cool, but my mom said it was nothing but naan cents.

What happens when you remove 90% talent from 50 cent?

You get a Nickelback

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young lady falls in love with a wealthy man. NSFW

They soon get married and they are living the life of luxury. Dream homes, exotic cars, and luxurious vacations.

The girl is having a conversation with her father one day and she mentions that she is considering leaving her husband. The father asks why and the girl explains. “He will only ...

Stopped to put air in my tires today. The pump cost $1.50! I remember when those things used to only cost 25 cents.

Guess the price has adjusted for inflation.

A coin manufacturer was fired the other day because he made no cents.

I tried to help, but he wouldn’t change.

A JOKE MY DAD CAME UP WITH

Since the united states has a nationwide coin shortage, does that mean we lack common cents?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This is the story of 5 cents.

Take five pennies...lay them out in a row. As you tell the joke slide one into a different row.

You smell anything? There's a scent.
You see any fruit? There's a pear.
You see any cars? There's 3 Lincolns.
You see any snakes? There's 4 copper heads.
You see any pussy? Not for 5 ce...

If 50 cent were a woman.. would her name be 35 cent?

Credit : twitter @the_anastasia

I feed and clothe a child in Africa for 30 cents a day.

Ofcourse that's nothing compared to what it cost to send him there

What do you get if you cross Groot with the rapper Fifty Cent?

About tree-fiddy

I quit smoking once for six years after buying a forty two cent box of toothpicks...

...after six years they were pretty gross so I started smoking again.

What do you get when you pay $0.55 to see a 50 Cent concert?

A nickel back.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Phil Mickelson Pulls into a Full Service Station

Phil pulled his brand new Escalade up to the gas pumps and an attendant hurried out.

He was in awe of Escalades and really wanted to see it up close. As he was filling the tank, he asked Phil if his ride had extra features.

Phil said, "Indeed it does. It came packed with all the lates...

Did you hear about 50 Cent's clever new song about the small, detail-oriented urban cat?

They're calling it "Fiddy's witty itty bitty nitty gritty city kitty ditty".

You ripped a dollar bill in half????

Why? That doesn't make any cents!

A man walks into a bar and orders seven shots of tequila

The bartender lines up the shots, and the man starts taking them one after another.

The bartender says "wow you're drinking those pretty fast"

The guy says "you would too if you had what I have"

The bartender steps back cautiously "what do you have?"

The guy says "fifty c...

What is the most delicious number in French? Cent? Deux cent? Trois cent?

C’est croissant!

50 Cent is a very insightful person. Wherever he goes, he tailors his shows to be inoffensive to local cultures and customs.

At his latest gig in Harare he performed under the name "4 Billion Dollars".

What do you call it when you return 5 cents to someone who dropped it?

Nickelback

I really love the rapper 50 cent

Or as what we here in Zimbabwe call him.
4.563 billion dollars.

Edit: This is my first post. Thank you for the 9 likes.

Two guys are walking down the street in Florida and they see a sign outside a bar that says "10 cent Martinis" and they decide to go in. They don't believe it, but decide to order anyway. The bartender makes two large Belvedere martinis with blue cheese olives and says "That will be 20 cents."

The two guys can't believe it, but drink up and order again. While the bartender is making the drinks, they ask him "How can you afford to do this?" The bartender responds, "I always wanted to own a bar where people could drink cheaply and then I won the lottery." One of the patrons responded, "That...

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