Woman get 77 cents for every dollar a man earns.

Well, at least men get to keep the 23 cents.

What concert only costs 45 cents?

50 Cent, featuring Nickleback

Why was Abraham Lincoln never put in jail?

Because he was in a cent.

I know it’s stupid but c’mon

What do they the call rapper 50 Cent in Venezuela?

479 Billion Bolivars.

What did 50 Cent say when his grandma made him a sweater?

G, you knit?

What’s 50 cent’s name in Zimbabwe?

400 million dollars

I remember when it used to cost 25 cents to fill my tires at the gas station. Now it costs $1.25!

Inflation is getting out of hand.

If I had 50 cents for every time I failed a math test,

I’d have 16.40 dollars.

Did you hear about 50 Cent's clever new song about the small, detail-oriented urban cat?

They're calling it "Fiddy's witty itty bitty nitty gritty city kitty ditty".

What do you call the man who had intercourse with 25 cents?

A quarter pounder

What did 50 Cent's grandmother's say when he handed her a homemade sweater?

Gee, you knit?

I worked at the U.S.Mint because it was the only job close by

I didn't have a car, it was just the only thing that made cents at the time.

A coin manufacturer was fired the other day because he made no cents.

I tried to help, but he wouldn’t change.

A man and a woman argue over the custody of their child. The woman screams, "The child is mine! I birthed him from my own flesh and blood and carried him through labour! All you did was screw me, you don't deserve him!"

The man calmly replies, "Tell me, if I put ten cents in a vending machine and a drink pops out, does it belong to me or the vending machine?"

I’m going to hell for this.

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

The old guy fingered his expensive wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.”

“I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.”
...

What do you get if you cross Groot with the rapper Fifty Cent?

About tree-fiddy

I bought a 2000's Boy band online for only five cents, but it never came in the mail.

I want my Nickelback

It is true, the story that you have heard is true. Women make 80 cents for every a dollar a man makes.

How is a man supposed to survive on 20 cents?

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game.

They had great seats right behind her teams bench on the 50 yard line.

After the game he asked her how she liked it.

She replied "oh, I really like it especially all the tight pants and big muscles, but I just don't understand why they were fighting each other over 25 cents."

T...

I really love the rapper 50 cent

Or as what we here in Zimbabwe call him.
4.563 billion dollars.

Edit: This is my first post. Thank you for the 9 likes.

I feed and clothe a child in Africa for 30 cents a day.

Ofcourse that's nothing compared to what it cost to send him there

What do you call an indigenous person who can’t stop giving out his two cents?

Opinionative

I heard Venezuelans like 50 Cent

But they call him two thousand dollars.

How does a penny look under a microscope?

Magnificent.

A man takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game

A man takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over he asks if she had a good time. She replied “yes that was fun, but I don’t understand why they do all of that for 25 cents”. The man, puzzled, asks “what do you mean?” To which the blonde replied “well the game started with...

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch...

Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from re-possessing the ranch they need to purchase a bull from a stockyard in a far-away town so that they can breed their own stock. They only have $600 left.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her...

Why did the penny arrest the nickel?

The penny was a copper, see, and he busted the nickel for stopping on a dime.

The dime was a quarter way through the intersection when the nickel hit him.

At first the nickel thought he'd hit 50 cent.

But it was just some other young buck.

It only cost 5 cents to get into our local aquarium, as long as you're camping, or dressed as a dolphin,

So, to all in tents and porpoises, it's free!

Foolproof: How I became a billionnaire in just 15 days. You can do it too.

When my wife and I got married we only got 0.50$ of combined wealth.

I was wandering around in the fruit market in desperation, that was when I saw an apple for 50 cents. I was so hungry that I spent our 50 cents in a blink of an eye. On one apple.

But then it hit me: What have I done?...

Can someone explain nonprofit organizations to me?

They don’t really make any cents.

What happens when you remove 90% talent from 50 cent?

You get a Nickelback

Why are poor people always confused?

Because they don't make any cents

What did one penny say to the other penny?

You and I together just make cents.

Cashier: you're 8 cents short

Me: it's only 8 cents can you just let it slide

Cashier: no

Me: *slides cashier 20 dollars* what about now

If I had a nickel for every time I gave someone my two cents...

I'd have 60% gross margins.

Two guys are walking down the street in Florida and they see a sign outside a bar that says "10 cent Martinis" and they decide to go in. They don't believe it, but decide to order anyway. The bartender makes two large Belvedere martinis with blue cheese olives and says "That will be 20 cents."

The two guys can't believe it, but drink up and order again. While the bartender is making the drinks, they ask him "How can you afford to do this?" The bartender responds, "I always wanted to own a bar where people could drink cheaply and then I won the lottery." One of the patrons responded, "That...

My friend rip me this joke and I can’t stop laughing

Lawyer: my client is stuck in a penny

Judge: what

Lawyer: he is in a cent

Judge: he is in a cent?

Lawyer and client leave the courtroom doing the joker and spider man dance

What was 50 Cents called after he gave his opinion of Eminem?

48 Cents.

a guy is praying:

A guy: "For God, how much time is million years?"
A voice from above: "For God, million years is one minute."
A guy: "For God, how much money is million dollars?"
A voice from above: "For God, million dollars is one cent."
A guy: "Can God please give me one cent?"
A voice fr...

What concert costs 45 cents?

50 Cent feat. Nickelback


Go ahead, down vote me to oblivion

What do you call a jail cell without five cents inside?

A nickleless cage.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar...

and orders ten shots. When the bartender comes back with the shots, the man smashes the first one and the tenth ones on the floor. The bartender asks, "What did you do that for?!" The man says, "The first one always tastes like crap and the last one always makes me sick!"

and orders ten shots...

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer.

The bartender charges him 15
cents. Confused but not complaining, the man pays.

After a while, he decides to have another beer
and some food, so he
orders another beer and a steak. The bartender
charges him 50 cents,
15 for the beer and 35 for the food.

After finishing h...

50 Cent? For an Eminem?

Man that’s Ludacris

2 scientists were at a science sale

The first one was selling protons and electrons for .10 cents each. The second one was just handing out neutrons to anyone. When I asked the second one why he wouldn't accept any money for the neutrons he repllied: *they're free of charge*.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two friends are at a bar, then one goes to the bathroom...

Friend 1: Dude, I just made $150.50 sucking dick in the bathroom

Friend 2: Who gave you 50 cents?

Friend 1: All of them!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy goes into a bar and orders a beer

The Bartender says “that’ll be a dollar”
The guy thinks “man, that’s cheap” but the beer turned out to be delicious. So he finishes his beer and decides to take a chance. “Bartender, I’ll have your finest wine” the bartender goes through a long process of showing the bottle, opening it, aerating ...

What is the most delicious number in French? Cent? Deux cent? Trois cent?

C’est croissant!

I heard the Mint stopped making coins...

It just doesn’t make cents

My son disliked the present he received from 50 Cent.

It was cheap and badly rapped.

What's the difference between capitalism and communism?

Capitalism makes cents.

50 Cent is a very insightful person. Wherever he goes, he tailors his shows to be inoffensive to local cultures and customs.

At his latest gig in Harare he performed under the name "4 Billion Dollars".

Which US president was the least guilty?

Lincoln, because he was in a cent

You can borrow five cents and no one will ask you to return them.

Apparently, people don't like a nickel back.

They say you should be the change you want to see in the world, so I gonna be two pennies.

It’s common cents

Attorney: My client is clearly trapped in a penny...

Judge: What?

Attorney: He is in a cent.

A Catholic Priest and a Jewish Rabbi....

A Priest and a Rabbi where sitting on a bench in a park conversing. Moments later when a group of kids walks by one of the kids drops his money and bends over the pick it up.

Forgetting who he was talking to, the priest says: Hey wanna screw that kid?!

The Rabbi replies: Screw him out ...

An infinite number of mathematicians walks into a bar and each person only order 1 drink.

The price of their drink is determined by the numerical order when entering. The first drink costs 1 dollar, the second costs 2 dollars and so on.
In the end, they decided to pay all together.

The waiter then paid them 8.(3) cents and they all left.

Tax? A blonde, worried about the HIV crisis

A blonde, worried about the HIV crisis, walks into
a drugstore and purchases a pack of condoms.
"That will be $1.08, please," says the clerk.
"What's the 8 cents for?" asks the blonde.
"It says one dollar right here on the packaging."
"Tax," replies the clerk.
"Gee", says the blo...

There was a man who had worked all his life and saved all of his money...

He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me, because I want to take all my money to the afterlife.

So he go...

What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent, featuring nickelback

For a dollar, a change-maker will get you four quarters, or ten dimes, or twenty nickels...

That makes cents, right?

A guy goes into a drug store to buy condoms for the first time.

The price is 25 cents per condom, so he buys 4. When he checks out, the pharmacist says, "That will be $1.08."

In confusion the guy says, "Wait, they're 25 cents each so it should be a dollar, so why the additional 8 cents?"

The pharmacist says, "Well, it’s a dollar for the condom...

25 reasons why beer is better then a woman

25: Beer never gets a headache.

24: Beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play football.

23: You don’t have to wine and dine beer.

22: Beer doesn’t get jealous when you grab another beer.

21: You can enjoy a beer all month long.

20: Beer stai...

A guy walks into a bar and orders 12 shots.

Before the bartender even returns with the check, the man has slammed back half of them and shows no signs of slowing down. As the guy finishes his final shot, the bartender asks, "Why are you drinking so fast?"
The guy wipes his mouth and replies, "You would be drinking fast, too, if you had wha...

Guy goes into a bar

A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve beers and starts drinking them as fast as he can.

The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."

The bartender says, "What do you have?"

The guy says, "75 cen...

I totally understand why people work at fragrance factories...

Makes scents...

You know that saying about being the change you want to see in the world?

I feel like 50 Cent misunderstood it.

My favorite rapper is 50 cent

Or as the British people now call him, 10,000 pounds.

A homeless man asked me if he could get fifty cents for a sandwich.

I told him, “I don’t know, let me see the sandwich.”

Stopped to put air in my tires today. The pump cost $1.50! I remember when those things used to only cost 25 cents.

Guess the price has adjusted for inflation.

Buddy walks into a bar...

Buddy walks into a bar and the bartender asks, “What’ll it be, sir?”

Buddy says, “Pour me a double!”

The bartender gives him a double and buddy downs the drink.

Buddy says, “Pour me another double!”

The bartender gives him another double and buddy downs the drink.
...

Did you know that women on average only get paid 73 cents to ever dollar a man makes?

That’s not fair, it only leaves the man with 27 cents!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The wage gap is sexist, because a woman gets 70 cents for every dollar a man makes...

... then the man is only left with 30 cents. That's messed up.

The take a penny, leave a penny trays in businesses are a great idea that obviously makes things easier for customers and merchants alike by saving time and effort for all.

It's common cents.

What did 50 cent's grandma say to him when he gave her a hand woven scarf for mother's day?

G u knit?

In response to his ex-wife taking The Giving Pledge, Jeff Bezos announced he is giving three quarters of his fortune to charity.

Twenty five cents now and fifty cents over the next four years.

If 50 cent were a woman.. would her name be 35 cent?

Credit : twitter @the_anastasia

Why do we keep making pennies when the cost to make them is more than their value?

It just doesn't make cents

Every day a man goes into a coffee shop. Everyday he orders the same drink from the same barista and pays exactly 5 dollars . He always sits in the same seat, finishes the drink and leaves.

One day he orders the same drink from the same barista and extends the 5 dollar bill. The barista informs the man, “sir, I’m sorry but we’ve raised the price to $5.25.” The man hesitantly takes out another dollar and hands it to the lady. She tries to hand him back the extra .75 cents but he refuses...

I recently went to a coin factory...

I was in awe at all of the machines and moving parts that filled the factory. At first, I didn't understand what was happening, but then it dawned on me. It all makes cents.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What happens in Vegas

A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout looking hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the hooker, 'How much do you charge?' Hooker replies, 'It starts at $500 for a hand-job.'

Guy says, '$500 dollars?! For a hand-job? No hand-job is wort...

A gorilla walks into a bar..

A gorilla walks into a bar and says, "A scotch on the rocks, please." The gorilla hands the bartender a $10 bill. The bartender thinks to himself, "This gorilla doesn't know the prices of drinks," and gives him 15 cents change.
The bartender says, "You know, we don't get too many gorillas in here...

I dont get why people get hired as an unpaid intern

I doesn't make any cents

My name is Vincent

But you can call me Vin, you'll save a cent.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

40 Cents

There was a country family who had struggled with poverty all their lives. Then the daughter got married to the wealthiest bachellor of the nearest town.
All of a sudden their lives started to improve. The husband employed all the wife’s siblings, his company started to buy the family ranch’s...

Eminem, 50 Cent and Andre from Outkast get together to produce a new single.

50 Cent says, 'I'll make the beat.'


Eminem says, 'I'll release it on my label and deal with the promo.'


Andre says, 'I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write, I'll ...

2 Irish men walk into a bar

2 Irishmen (joe and bob) have only 5 cents between them. Joe takes the 5 cents and buys a sausage. They go into the first bar and get their drinks. When it's time to pay Joe puts the sausage in his pants and unzips them and bob starts sucking on the sausage. They, of course, are kicked out of the ba...

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