Cent Jokes - 67 Hilarious Cent Jokes

Russian Ruble is now worth less than 1 U.S. Cent after SWIFT Bank Sanctions

I think it's time we start calling the Ruble for what really is: Rubble

What concert costs 45 cents?

50 Cent feat. Nickelback

Go ahead, down vote me to oblivion

What do you call a 25 cent hooker?

A quarter pounder.

What does 50 Cent call himself in Russia?

50,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 rubles

If I got 50 cents for every failed math exam

I’d have $ 6.30 now.

I heard 50 Cent wasn’t expected at the half time show

I didn’t think it was a surprise he came out after two quarters

I asked 50 Cent for some advice

Now he is 48 Cent

50 Cent Concert

Guy: Dad Give me some money, I want to go to the 50 cent concert.

Dad: Here is a dollar, take your sister along

I really love 50 Cent...

...Or as we call him here in Zimbabwe, '200 million dollars'.

What do they call the rapper "50 Cent" in Venezuela?

$1,554,270.59

So 50 cent was angry with his german girlfriend

He was about to hit her and she screamed 59!!!!!!!!!

Anyone see 50 cent perform at the Super Bowl?

Inflation is real

My favorite rapper is 50 cent

Or as the British people now call him, 10,000 pounds.

50 Cent has officially changed his name

It’s now 3.50 to adjust for inflation.

what did 50 cent do when he got hungry?

58.

I just spent 25 cents on a wig

It was a small price toupee

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Steve dates a girl for the first time

Unfortunately, he doesn't know anything about sex, so he fears that it could get serious

Desperate he asks his friend Tom, a real Casanova, for some tips

Tom thinks for a little bit and says:
"Alright, if you want to please a girl, its all about movement. Let's do an exercise!"
<...

If I had 50 cents for every time I'd read a 50 cent joke today...

I'd have about tree fiddy.

A kid is selling lemonade…

The boy’s sign reads “1 cup for 25¢, 3 cups for $1

A construction worker stops by and asks to buy one cup of lemonade.
"25 cents", says the kid.

The construction worker then buys another one, and another one, paying 25 cents each.

As the construction worker walks away, he t...

Putin once said: “I really like 50 cent”

“Or as we call him in Russia, 4 million ruble”.

Last year a guy took his Blonde girl friend to the Superbowl

They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked it.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the

tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't

understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."<...

For every Dollar a man makes a woman makes 70 cents. That's really unfair.

That only leaves the man with 30c.

What did 50 Cent say to his Grandmother when she made him a sweater?

Gee, you knit?

It only makes cents

Perfumer: I invested 200 dollars, but do you know how much I got back?

Person: How much?

Perfumer: Three scents.

The rapper 50 Cent is known by many names

For instance, in Russia they call him 1352 Ruble

**Edit:** Make that 1459 Ruble

What happens when 50 Cent eats his food?

58.

Fifty ate.

Okay I’ll just see myself out.. sorry.

What’s 50 Cent’s name in Zimbabwe?

400 million dolla man.

I bought a CD at a yard sale for 5 cents...

I listened to it at home and it sucked.

I went back to the yard sale and I said "Give me my nickel back!". They said, "We already did."

What is the most delicious number in French? Cent? Deux cent? Trois cent?

C’est croissant!

Why was Abraham Lincoln never put in jail?

Because he was in a cent.

I know it’s stupid but c’mon

Due to recent changes, 50 cent has changed his citizenship to the UK.

After experiencing weight gain, he is being converted to UK currency and will now be known as "50 pounds".

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Rapper 50 cent just came out as bisexual…

He’s now called 50/50.

I am a big fan of Fifty Cent.

Or as we call him in Zimbabwe: **Ten Billions Dollars.**

When someone says, a penny for your thoughts, and I throw my two cents in….

What happens to the other penny?

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45 Cents

A Jewish daughter says to her mother,
"I'm divorcing Nathan.
All he wants is sex, sex and more sex.
My vagina is now the size of a 50-cent piece,
when it used to be the size of a 5-cent piece."
Her mother says …..
"You're married to a multi-millionaire businessman!
You live in a...

If 50 cent were a woman.. would her name be 35 cent?

Credit : twitter @the_anastasia

How to get rich

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of th...

What’s a noodle that only costs one cent?

Penne

How DARE you all make fun of 50 Cent’s weight from last night?!

It took a lot of courage for those two guys to hang upside down on national television!

50 cent gave Eminem a Christmas gift

Eminem was taken aback and choked up as he unwrapped the beautiful hand-made Christmas sweater.

Holding back tears, he turns to 50 and asks...

G-g-g-gee, you knit?

I heard Venezuelans like 50 Cent

But they call him two thousand dollars.

A man on his retirement, purchased a house situated near a high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace, then the new school year began. One afternoon early into the first semester, three young boys came down the street, beating merrily on every bin they passed.

They did this the following day and the day's after that, for a week, until the man decided it was time to take some action.

The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the boys as they banged their way down the street.

Stopping them, he said, "You kids are a lot of fun. In fact, I used ...

If an opinion is worth 2 cents, how many cents is an argument worth?

It really just depends on how much cents it makes.

100 is a nice round number

The European is visiting the United States for the first time: So how many cents in a dollar?

The American: 100, of course

The European: 100? Why not 62, or 37?

The American: 62? What are you talking about? It's 100. Of course, it is. It's a nice round number and easy to calcula...

2 pac of eminems for 50 cents?

Man thats ludacris!

Did you know that 50 cent's mother was german? Every time he did something wrong, she screamed

59!

I'm a big fan of 50 cent

Or as he's known in Zimbabwe, 10 billion dollars

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Little Johnny's mother was upset about her son's swearing habit, so she takes him to the church.

There, the priest is waiting. After finishing her own confessions, Little Johnny's mother talks about her situation.

"I don't know what to do with my son anymore, Father," she says. "He started a while ago to say swear words, and now he is saying one in every sentence."

"Why, I have ju...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do you know why Ms. Pac-man is considered the greatest prostitute of all time?

Because for 25 cents she'll eat balls until she dies!

My wife is a hooker?

My wife woke me this morning after being out all night I asked her where she was and she told me that because we were going through some money problems she decided that she was going to go on the game and after a lot of arguing I asked how much money she made and she said 4 thousand 6 hundred 40 eur...

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This is the story of 5 cents.

Take five pennies...lay them out in a row. As you tell the joke slide one into a different row.

You smell anything? There's a scent.
You see any fruit? There's a pear.
You see any cars? There's 3 Lincolns.
You see any snakes? There's 4 copper heads.
You see any pussy? Not for 5 ce...

Santa was 5 cents short.

Jolly old saint; nickel-less.

50 cent declares bankrupcy...

he hasnt got a dollar to his name

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40 Cents

There was a country family who had struggled with poverty all their lives. Then the daughter got married to the wealthiest bachellor of the nearest town.
All of a sudden their lives started to improve. The husband employed all the wife’s siblings, his company started to buy the family ranch’s...

A JOKE MY DAD CAME UP WITH

Since the united states has a nationwide coin shortage, does that mean we lack common cents?

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The sausage trick

Fred and Ray go to the liquor store to buy a cheap bottle of booze. Once in the store, they discover that they only have $1.50 between the two of them.

Ray says, 'I've got an idea', and goes next door to the butcher shop and comes back with a polish sausage. 'here Fred, stick this in your pan...

I really love the rapper 50 cent

Or as what we here in Zimbabwe call him.
4.563 billion dollars.

Edit: This is my first post. Thank you for the 9 likes.

What happens when you remove 90% talent from 50 cent?

You get a Nickelback

What happened to the beef between 50 Cent and Ja Rule?

What did 50 Cent’s friends say when they saw him crocheting a sweater?

G...you knit?

A little old lady sold pretzels on the corner for fifty cents each

A little old lady sold pretzels on the street corner for fifty cents each. Every day, a young lawyer would exit his office building at lunch, and as he passed her pretzel stand, he'd leave two quarters. However, he never took a pretzel.

This went on for nearly five years.

Even though ...

A latino goes to buy soda for 75 cents, he puts 65

The machine reads ‘dime’ so he gets closer and whispers Pepsi

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband and wife are eating breakfast.

The wife says, "I had a dream last night. I was at an auction, and they were auctioning penises. Nice-sized ones were going for $25, big ones were going for $50, and spectacular ones were going for $100."

The husband says, "Is that right? How much did one like mine go for?"

And the wi...

A man has a vision of God

God says to the man "You may ask three questions of me."

The man thinks hard, and says "God, the universe is so old...how do you keep track of it?"

God says "My child, to me a million years is only one second."

The man thinks again, and says "God, why do so many rich people forg...

David Byrne gets elected US President. His first official act is to ban the penny. He issued an executive order to...

Stop making cents.

My son disliked the present he received from 50 Cent.

It was cheap and badly rapped.

I think 50 Cent should run for President in 2020

He's change we can believe in

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