I accidentally swallowed a handful of Scrabble tiles...

My next bowel movement could spell disaster.

A man ran up to a stranger and threw a handful of sodium chloride at them.

They got angry and said "Hey, that's assault".

came pretty close to actually catching a handful of fog this morning

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A Handful of Short Math Jokes

1. How do mathematician's scold their children?

* “If I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times …”

2. A mathematician wanders back home at 3 A.M. and proceeds to get an earful from his wife. "You're late!" she yells. "You said you'd be home by 11:45!" "Actually," the mathematici...

One of the patrons of the church was cooking a pot of her famous beans for the church potluck. Her son, Little Johnny, came running through the house, BB gun in one hand, and a handful of BBs in the other.

He tripped and the BBs, naturally, went right into the pot of beans.
Thinking it over, Little Johnny could think of no reason why he should risk punishment, so he said nothing.
The dinner went well, and, as usual, the beans were one of the favorite dishes.
The next day, the church secretary...

Being single is such a handful.

Okay maybe I was feeling a little bit generous there.

My Dad tried twisting the wicks of a handful of firecrackers together and accidentally pulled them out. I told him to stop and not try to fix them, it wasn't safe.

He refused two.

Did you hear about the guy that tried to grab a handful of fog?

He mist.

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