A century ago, two brothers insisted that it was possible to fly...

and as you can see, they were Wright.

A Dirty Joke from the 14th Century

The joke comes to us from Jean de Conde of Hainaut, born 1275:

A game of truth-telling is being played at court by a Queen and her retinue. A knight is asked by the Queen if he has fathered any children; he is forced to admit that he has not.

The Queen nods in assent, saying "you do n...

Who is 6’5”, ripped, and loves 17th century European architecture?

Dwayne ‘Baroque’ Johnson

What would a 19th century Russian sci-fi be called?

Tsar Wars.

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he was offered the role of the main character of a movie about an 18th century German composer?

“I’ll be Bach”

Job security in the 21st century.

That’s the whole joke.

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I read that 18th century scrambled eggs called for a quarter pound of butter

That recipe sure had a pretty large margarine of error.

The oldest recorded English joke dates back to the 10th Century AD. and goes:

"What hangs at a mans thigh and
wants to poke the hole that it's
often poked before?
Answer: A key'

The three greatest disaster of the 20th century:

hiroshima '45

chernobyl '86

windows '95

How does a pirate cat-call in the 21st century?

Yo-ho!

Has anyone heard of 21st century Rummy?

It's played the same, except a Marriage can be made with two Queens or two Kings and everyone always forgets about the Aces.

What do I have in common with the 20th century?

In our 20s, we both suffered from a Great Depression

The plastic straw bans now happening in many cities were predicted by a 16th Century prophet.

His name was No-straw-damus.

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How many redditors does it take to make a good joke?

A million: 1 to make the joke, and 999,999 to repost it every fucking day for the next century.

What did the first century Christian say about the lion that killed his wife?

I'm Gladiator.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a Spanish Ass Pirate from the 17th century?

A conkeesterdor.

A man and his dog walk into a bar.

The man says to the bartender, "Look, this dog can talk. Let me ask him some questions, and he'll answer."

The bartender looks sceptical, but says, "Okay, pal, you're on."

"Rex, what's on top of a house?"

The dog barks. The man says, "See there, he said 'roof'!"

The barte...

As we landed in Saudi Arabia the pilot announced "Ladies and Gentlemen don't forget to adjust your watches to local time"

I thought to myself how do I turn it back to the 7th century?

At the turn of the last century, Mexico was introduced to mayonnaise.

At the turn of the last century, Mexico was introduced to mayonnaise.

And they just loved it. They couldn't make mayonnaise quick enough.

Little known fact, the Titanic had a large vat of mayonnaise that was going to go to Mexico.

Now when the Titanic sunk, and the mayonnaise we...

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I shoved a 12th century coin up my ass and I couldn't help but laugh

Old butt gold.

Art thieves pillaged a museum of European 17th and 18th century artwork. They smashed windows, stole paintings, destroyed exhibits, and even did a number on the light fixtures. Everything about the place is a mere ruin of what it was yesterday.

It's all baroque now.

I was going to tell a joke about 18th century philosophers...

But I just Kant.

Did you hear about the storm of the century in Columbus?

Neither did I because, It was just rain and the lightning never showed up.

An old joke from Isaac Asimov(fairly long).

As is well known, in this thirtieth century of ours, space travel is fearfully dull and time-consuming. In search of diversion, many crew Members defy the quarantine restrictions and pick up pets from the various habitable worlds they explore.

Jim Sloane had a rockette, which he called Teddy....

What's the difference between a 19th-century American pioneer and a termite exterminator?

One passes through the good west and the other gasses through the wood pests.

What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

"I'm lucky to have lived this long despite my dangerous line of work and the frankly displeasing state of healthcare in the 16th century"

Why didn't 18th century composer George Frideric Handel go shopping while he lived in London?

Because he was Baroque.

I feel the classical musicians from the 17th and 18th century were not financially well-off.

Because they come from the Baroque era.

17th century painter Peter Paul Rubens walks into a bar and orders a drink.

Bartender asks “how are you going to pay for that?”
Peter Paul Rubens says “put it on my tab. I’m baroque.”

Paddy took 2 stuffed dogs to the Antiques Roadshow.

The presenter said, “This is a very rare set, produced by the celebrated Johns Brothers taxidermists who operated in London at the turn of the last century.

Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?”

“Sticks!” Paddy replied

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Franz was reading his book on death row...

It was the ‘storm of the century’. On death row, Franz was reading his religious texts, looking for God, even as the inmates of the neighbouring cells were having an explosive argument about who should get to shower first. ’14 days to execution’, Franz thought, as he physically and mentally trembled...

What would you call a famous president in the 17th century?

Baroque Obama.

My friend asked if I wanted to be the Terminator or a 17th century composer for halloween

So I said "I'll be Bach"

Hershey bars have dominated chocolate for over a century

It's nearly 2019 now. Is anyone else not offended we still don't have a Himhe bar?

Isn't it great to live in the 21st century?

Where deleting history has become more important than making it.

The eighteenth century German philosopher Immanuel Kant argued that eating GORP was better than eating raisins or peanuts on their own.

You can read his argument in his book, "A Critique of Pure Raisin."

A group of people are touring an old, 16th-century castle one day.

The tour guide seems to be doing a great job, explaining things in detail, when one of the tourists asks a question.



"I heard from a friend that this castle was haunted! Is that true?"



The tour guide, without hesitation, says "Oh no, I've been here for 300 years and I'v...

Data: Captain

We have the 20th century machine that puts clothes together now working. Would you like to see a demonstration.

Capt: Make it sew.

What did the 8th century Anglo-Saxon king say when his brother tackled him?

Get Offa me

Really busy century in heaven

Three guys die and go to heaven. St. Peter says "Listen - we're having a really busy century, so we need to manage admissions tightly. Right now we can only admit people who have died in horrible fashions, and those who have died in a more mundane way will have to wait in limbo, and it could take a ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Doctor: "Unfortunately sir, you have only 1 week to live."

Man: "Doc, what on Earth are you saying?”, clearly shocked. “What can I do to live at least a little longer?"

Doc: "Well, do you eat greasy and fried food?"

Man: "Yes."

Doc: "You must stop!"

Man: "If it allows me to live longer, I'll do it!"

Doc: "Do you drink...

Charles ran a successful fur business in early 20th century New York.

He was always humane about the treatment of his animals before they were killed and made sure the rest of the animal didn't go to waste. However, rather than making a massive profit, he'd often donate warm fur clothes to poorer children. He lived comfortably, but always tried to maintain his philant...

I asked my dad to borrow a newspaper. "We don't waste paper in the 21st century, here use my iPad" he said

I can tell you this, that fly never knew what hit him...

There's an 18th century family

The children want to play horsey with their dad.

Child 1: All those in favor of father being the horse say Aye

Child 2: Aye

Child 1: Aye

Child 2: Father, what do you say?

Father: Neigh

Biggest joke of the century:

"Computers and mobile were meant to save our time"

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The 21st century is turning 18!

It's time for it to get properly fucked

Did you hear about the plant in Baton Rouge Louisiana thats been producing spanish food since the 11th century?

It's a bayou tapas-tree.

18th Century Arms Dealer Receives Concussion on First Day at Work

A burgeoning blunderbuss broker braved and bore the brunt of a bludgeoning to the brain.

What's the difference between a 19th century slave and a 21st century unpaid intern?

No, seriously, I want to know.

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My favourite porn category is the one where girls quote 19th century Irish writers

Girls Gone Wilde.

The most difficult, complex, confusing, controversial, enraging, emotional, and thought provoking question of the 21st century....

Are you male or female?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a 20th century grammar nazi?

Alt-Write

Which is the shortest century?

The twenty-second century.

A wealthy gentleman began to chat with a poor woman on the streets of 17th century London

He asked how many children she had.

“Six,” she answered.

“Here is a sixpence for them,” he responded, handing her a coin.

“No, sir,” she said proudly, “I will not sell my children.”

Chopper.

The Chief of Staff of the US Air Force decided to personally recruit some pilots and he saw two young twins.

He looked at the first young man and asked: "Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?"

The young man looks at him and says: "I'm a pilot!"

The General gets all ex...

In the 18th century it was common practice to ignore negative numbers

People stopped at nothing to avoid them

Where does a 19th century Russian imperialist get his coffee?

Tsarbucks.

The concept of drilling for oil was ridiculous in the mid 19th century.

Now we just see it as groundbreaking.

Turning water into wine is so first century.

If Jesus wants my attention now, he'd do better turning my liberal arts degree into something useful.

The Lord of an 19th century English manor is having an affair with one of his chambermaids...

One day the chambermaid is giving him a blow-job when she hears the lady of the house approaching. She stops what she's doing and looks up at him. At that moment, he climaxes and manages to get some right in her eye.

It's messy and burning, she runs to the door, rubbing her face and tearing u...

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Why do 19th century western women insist on staying in the kitchen?

It's easier to control the arsenic.

My girlfriend made me watch a movie with her about how women struggled during their menstrual cycles in the 18th century.

It was a period piece

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