Dark humour is like food

Not everyone gets it.

Dead children are like Dark humour.

They never get old.

Bathroom Humour

What do you call a person who uses a lavatory on an army base?

A Loo Tenant.

True story ( I hope you see the humour)

Back in the 50’s in Sou’West Nova Scotia the roads were not very good and the fog was always very thick which made driving difficult for even the best drivers.
My father at 17 was in the Canadian Navy, got drunk, got into a fight and landed himself in jail. This was about an hours drive from wher...

Just heard this little bit of boomer humour

A priest is giving a sermon in church when suddenly flames leap up from behind the altar and the devil himself rises from below. Terrified all but one of the congregation flee, the devil stares at the last remaining member of the church, a single old man and asks him, ‘are you not afraid mortal?’...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hospital humour

A doctor was doing his rounds on the ward and came across a male patient masturbating. He said to the Nurse in charge, surely you shouldn’t be allowing this to happen on the ward, it’s most inappropriate. The nurse replied, he has HSC (high sperm count), he has to do this daily to bring the count do...

Piece of British humour for you.

A woman goes to the funeral home to visit her late husband whose funeral is the next day.

Upon seeing the body, she says to the funeral director, “Oh, no, you've dressed him in a blue suit! He hated blue and I've given all his other suits to charity!”

The funeral director says, “I'm no...

My wife and I share a sense of humour...

Coz we have to...She doesn’t have one.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s common between humour and sex?

You either get it, or you don’t!

Americans have a terrible sense of humour

I mean, their healthcare is a joke and most of them don't even get it.

Why are bald jokes the deepest form of humour

Because they cause reflection

Dark humour joke

Kobe Bryant missed a shot because of the flash of a camera.

To stop this from happening again, he stared at the sun for 8 hours to train his eyes.

It’s a shame he couldn’t see the mountain.

I enjoy self-deprecating humour a lot.

I’m just not very good at it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What humour does a pansexual necrophiliac like?

Deadpan humour

Dark humour

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

A family photo

Dark Humour

A little boy asked his dad what dark humor was

The dad replied "that man over there with no arms wave at him"

The little boy says dad I can't im blind

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear (yes i know my sense of humour is great)

If you lose one of your senses, your other sense are enhanced.

This is why people with no sense of humour have a heightened sense of self-importance.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Humour as dark as a black man

How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs?


None he fell

Accent humour, mate!

It's the year 2022, WWIII has started. 1st world countries vs 2nd world countries and Middle East. Britain asks for reinforcement from Australia. The Australian regiment arrives and next morning starts preparing while the British Commander enters and starts increasing the army's morale:

Briti...

Okay, we've had so many countries, let's try it with german humour...

...now laugh!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TIL why Americans removed the letter U from the British spelling of words like humour and colour.

Because Fuck U, that's why.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

British Humour

The train was quite crowded, and a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle.

The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?' The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in p...

How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just the one, because they are very efficient and they don't have a sense of humour.

Dark Humour is like anti-vax families

There’s usually a dead baby.

Dark Humour isn’t that popular anymore....

Is my way of telling my Black Friend he’s not funny.

How much humour does a woman of the church have?

Nun

Self deprecation is definitely the lowest form of humour.

that's why I use it all the time

What do you call the Greek God of Humour?

Hilarios.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My kind I humour

What does a frog say to his wife when he’s horny

Rub it...rub it

Toilet humour is not my favourite kind of joke

But it's a solid number two.

DARK humour

A guy walks with a young boy into the woods.

The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared.

" The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back ALONE."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An half-japanese teenager, an Englishman with a huge sense of humour, an Egyptian who works as a fortune teller and a French guy walk into a bar and elder four ice teas.

It was very bizzare.

Which type of people are the world's fastest readers [DARK HUMOUR]

9/11 victims. They went through more than 50 stories in 10 seconds.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My dick got more humour than me

Everytime i unzip my pants my girl start laughing

What’s Whitney Houston’s favourite type of coordination?

HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

It’s my cake day humour me.

Why do ants have eyes?

So they can see.


(Downvote if you like ant eye humour doesn't really belong on this sub

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you joke about dying, that's gallows humour...

But if you joke about cocks, that's *gallus* humour.

So western cartoons are being introduced to the Middle East

TV execs decided to go with The Flintstones as an initial trial to see how they'll be received.
So far there has been mixed reviews.
People in Dubai don't get the humour at all but by all reports, the people in Abu Dhabi do.

A child asked his mom what dark humour was. She said “You see that man in the wheelchair? Ask him to do stand-up comedy.”

The child answered “But mom, I’m blind!”

Here's some Lame Game Dev Humour:

So, I used to work at a studio - doesn't really matter where - and there was this one guy who'd always be around. Just around. I didn't want to seem impolite so I never asked what he did. I kept my head down and did my thing, you know. I mostly forgot about him, except for when I'd be working late a...

What does anti-humour have in common with a half empty bottle of ketchup?

Nothing.

Someone asked me how dark my humour is

Dark enough to get six warning shots in the back

Tried dark humour last night.

Nobody could see the punchline

Canadian humour

Did you know that Justin Bieber isn't the most famous Canadian Justin. I know it sounds wierd but it's Trudeau.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little bit of dark humour for you!

The FBI had an open position for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were completed, they had narrowed the field down to 3 possible agents. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will ...

I know many handicapped people with a great sense of humour.

Shame they don't do stand-up comedy.

Unfortunately my style of humour is reflected in the type of woman I attract.

Dry.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lawyer is hunting ducks in the woods.

Much to his dismay, after hours and hours he hasn't spotted a single one. Finally, he spots a duck past the treeline, and gets ready to shoot. The duck is sitting on a fence post, nice and open; an easy shot. The lawyer takes aim and fires - it's a perfect shot, and the duck falls over onto the othe...

Bathroom humour is not my favorite type of humour...

but it's a solid #2.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"So, Doctor van Helsing, we meet at last," said the Count.

van Helsing turned slowly. The castle library was lit in patches by the bright moonlight spilling through the windows, and otherwise only in a circle of yellow gold by the Dutchman's candle. He had never even heard the door open or a hint of a footfall; and yet there Count Dracula was, less than twe...

Self-deprecating humour is my specialty...

I mean, it’s easy when you’ve got so much to work with.

Self-deprecating humour is the lowest form of entertainment.

And I can't even get *that* right.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Woman Buys a Parrot

A woman goes to the pet store, looking to buy a family pet. At first she’s looking at all the cats and dogs but notices a beautiful green parrot with a price tag of only $5.

“Excuse me,” she asks an employee, “why is this parrot so cheap? It’s beautiful!”

The employee replies telling ...

I love self deprecating humour...

Too bad i suck at it.

Justice has been served [long, English humour]

Justice has been served!
There's been some scumbag called Carl going round breaking in to people's houses near me for months, but the police can't catch him. The weirdest thing about it all, is he was breaking into people's houses and ruining their washing machines by putting bricks in to them &a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dark humour is more like bad food

...It makes you feel funny but you also know something's wrong with you on the inside now.

The upside is that if you can handle it you'll be shitting yourself and those who can't handle it will throw up with disgust.

Had a great time telling Yo Mama jokes with all my buddies last night.

She's got a great sense of humour.

A little British boy raises his hand to ask his teacher a question

"Miss, My mother says freedom is the most beautiful thing in the world. What does freedom mean?"

The teacher seeing the importance of this question for the sweet, innocent child, thinks quickly about how best to respond.

She smiles sweetly and says "Why don't you come up and tell the c...

Puns are the lowest form of humour

Unless you thought of it yourself, then is hilarious

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Self deprecative humour is a bit like sex.

Generally speaking, I just don't get it.

Cop Humour

An Arizona Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.
'Fred,' he replies.
'Fred what?' the officer asks.
'Just Fred,' the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood, thinks he might just give the biker a break, ...

what kind of humour cannot be found in the black community

dad jokes

Most people don't enjoy puns. Wordplay almost feels like an emotional knife stab to them. But at least they appreciate my humour when I get home

It just goes to show you, the only good pun is a dad pun

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young German wants to travel (x-post from German_Humour)

A young man is undecided where he should spend this year's vacation. He asks his granfather for advice.

Grandfather: 'When I was your age, I went to Paris. I went to a bar and everything was for free. I was totally drunk, climbed on the counter and pissed on the floor. After that I spanked th...

Australian humour.

This Australian guy said to me, I just saw a Man playing "Dancing Queen" on a didgeridoo, I thought to myself that's Abbariginal.

More dark humour

After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first doctor”. The doctor replies, “We’ll, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to ...

Statistics humour

The median and the mode walked into a bar. The bartender asks, "Where's your other friend". The median says, "We don't like him anymore. He's mean."

Meta Humour.

"A guy walks into a bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says, "If you can tell me a meta joke, I'll give you a free drink." So the guy says:
""A guy walks into a bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says, "If you can tell me a meta joke, I'll give you a free drink." So the guy says: ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This is a community of Japanese students.

We all have a Sensei of Humour.

Self-Depricating humour is the best kind of humour

Too bad Im not good at it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

British toilet humour.

"Go and have a look at the size of the shit I've just done in the bathroom!" I said to my wife.

"No thanks," she replied.

"Please, just one quick look," I said, "You won't believe it, it's a good two pounder."

Shaking her head in disbelief, she pinched her nose, ran in, looked d...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.