UPJOKE
sarcasmsatirefigure of speechhumorhyperbolewithumourtropeunderstatementsimileironicabsurditycoincidencesubtletyexaggeration

Irony of life!

The doctor hopes you fall ill.

The police hopes you become a criminal.

The lawyer hopes you get into trouble.

The priest wants you to get married.

The coffin maker wants you dead.

Only a thief wishes you prosperity in life!

Had to explain what irony was to someone at church.

Apparently, "Being a carpenter and getting nailed to a wooden cross" isn't a good example.

Irony!!!!

There is no greater irony than dying in a living room.

Irony:

Hyphenated



Non-hyphenated

What's the opposite of irony?

Wrinkly.

The irony of 2020

Was that no one could have seen it coming.

Define : Irony

Getting pregnant on a "pull-out" couch!

History's biggest irony is that the Russian alphabet has no lowercase letters

It's all Capitalization.

I live alone, so I am ironing my own clothes

Oh, the irony.

Karma and Irony are best friends

They go roaming the city one night looking for a place to eat.
They spot a homeless man warming his hands by a fire, and karma steals a belt lying next to him, laughing.
Irony stays behind and hands the belt back before catching up with Karma.
They then walk into a bar, and Karma says “ou...

My friend said that I don't understand irony...

... which is ironic because we were at the bus stop at the time.

My friend says I don't understand the meaning of "irony"

Despite the fact I keep telling him it's "metallic"

The other day my friend was telling me i didnt know what irony meant

Which was ironic since we were at a bus stop

Edit: thanks for silver gold and front page, it means alot

There are three things I love:

The Oxford comma, irony, and missed opportunities.

What's another word for irony?

(Fe)lony

The 5 things I hate most

1. Lists
2.
3. Uncompleted things
D. Inconsistent formating
E. Irony

Why does the word Irony....

have nothing to do with metal or clothes?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All about stress

Tits - natural anti-stress balls! The irony is that they come attached to the most effective thing to create stress!

The irony of the fat acceptance movement...

is the inheirant lack of movement.

Irony is...

When Robinhood stops the poor from taking from the rich.

What do you call it when a Russian emperor uses irony to mock someone?

Tsarcasm

It’s ironic that “rain on your wedding day” is a poor example of irony.

And a “free ride when you’ve already paid” isn’t any better.

The irony about unvaccinated kids is....

That the jokes get old.

Irony will be the death of me.

What my mate said just before he fell into a blast furnace.

My favorite definition of irony:

A neck tattoo that says "I make good decisions."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Irony of Indian law system

I have two questions for the lawmakers of our country:

1. If the legal age of a Man to get Sexually active is 18 years and the legal age for him to get married is 21... then what are we actually suggesting he should do these 3 years?

2. Now if the legal age for a Man to get married is ...

"IRONY"...

"IRONY"...

This is short and to the point:
The Food Stamp Program, administered by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, is proud to be distributing this year the greatest amount of free Meals and Food Stamps ever, to 46 million people.
Meanwhile, the National Park Service, administered b...

I like women who understand irony.

Especially the irony of my shirts.

There's a beautiful irony in the fact the history channel is showing less and less history...As if the history

Is in the past.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend was taking the piss out of me today because I apparently don't understand what irony is.

Which is ironic because we were sat in a coffee shop at the time...

What's the definition of irony?

To not know the difference between a definition and an example.

I don’t like my coffee like I like my irony

Hitting me unexpectedly after flying through the air or coming out of my computer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Irony of the World Cup rules...

The Japanese qualified for the next round because they have less yellow

The Paradox Association has fragmented due to internal conflicts.

Many members have subsequently joined The Irony Society, but leaders of both organizations have issued statements clarifying that simultaneous membership remains an unresolved issue.

Did you hear they're making a documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger's work in comedy?

It's called Pumping Irony.

What do epileptics call ambulances?

Irony on wheels!

A man was drinking the blood of a vampire...

He said, "Hm, irony"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My mother taught me...

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm go...

Pretty soon the only place you will be able to buy a Confederate flag will be the black market.

Oh the irony.

My iron broke due to overheating

The irony

A navy officer on a submarine was doing his rounds and noticed something odd...

There was what looked like a frying pan handle sticking out of the floor of the sub! The officer did some more looking around, and saw more strange things sticking out of the floor: golf clubs, clothes irons, car bumpers, and even half a bicycle!

Alarmed by this, he went up to the sub command...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A grammar book walks into a bar

* An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

* A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

* A bar was walked into by the pass...

What do you call a fly with no wings?

Still a fly. The irony is unfortunate but the name doesn’t change.

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