UPJOKE
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Irony of life!

The doctor hopes you fall ill.

The police hopes you become a criminal.

The lawyer hopes you get into trouble.

The priest wants you to get married.

The coffin maker wants you dead.

Only a thief wishes you prosperity in life!
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Had to explain what irony was to someone at church.

Apparently, "Being a carpenter and getting nailed to a wooden cross" isn't a good example.
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Irony!!!!

There is no greater irony than dying in a living room.
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My friend says I don't understand the meaning of "irony"

Despite the fact I keep telling him it's "metallic"
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Define : Irony

Getting pregnant on a "pull-out" couch!
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The irony of 2020

Was that no one could have seen it coming.
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The irony of the fat acceptance movement...

is the inheirant lack of movement.
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History's biggest irony is that the Russian alphabet has no lowercase letters

It's all Capitalization.
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My friend told me that I don't understand the meaning of irony...

...which was ironic because we were at a train station
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Anyone notice the irony behind “hyphenated”

and “non-hyphenated”?
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"IRONY"...

"IRONY"...

This is short and to the point:
The Food Stamp Program, administered by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, is proud to be distributing this year the greatest amount of free Meals and Food Stamps ever, to 46 million people.
Meanwhile, the National Park Service, administered b...
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My wife and I got into an argument because she said I don't understand the concept of irony.

Ironically, we were at a bus depot at the time.
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It’s ironic that “rain on your wedding day” is a poor example of irony.

And a “free ride when you’ve already paid” isn’t any better.
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Karma and Irony are best friends

They go roaming the city one night looking for a place to eat.
They spot a homeless man warming his hands by a fire, and karma steals a belt lying next to him, laughing.
Irony stays behind and hands the belt back before catching up with Karma.
They then walk into a bar, and Karma says “ou...
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Pretty soon the only place you will be able to buy a Confederate flag will be the black market.

Oh the irony.
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What's another word for irony?

(Fe)lony
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My 3 Favorite Things

My 3 favorite things are the Oxford comma, irony, and missed opportunities
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The other day my friend was telling me i didnt know what irony meant

Which was ironic since we were at a bus stop

Edit: thanks for silver gold and front page, it means alot
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What's the opposite of irony?

\- Wrinkly
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What do you call it when a Russian emperor uses irony to mock someone?

Tsarcasm
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Irony is...

When Robinhood stops the poor from taking from the rich.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Irony of Indian law system

I have two questions for the lawmakers of our country:

1. If the legal age of a Man to get Sexually active is 18 years and the legal age for him to get married is 21... then what are we actually suggesting he should do these 3 years?

2. Now if the legal age for a Man to get married is ...

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Up until he died, my dad was a big believer in gains made by efficiency, and also irony.

He would have appreciated being run over by a hearse.

There's a beautiful irony in the fact the history channel is showing less and less history...As if the history

Is in the past.
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What's the definition of irony?

To not know the difference between a definition and an example.
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A man was drinking the blood of a vampire...

He said, "Hm, irony"
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My friend was taking the piss out of me today because I apparently don't understand what irony is.

Which is ironic because we were sat in a coffee shop at the time...

My favorite definition of irony:

A neck tattoo that says "I make good decisions."
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The irony about unvaccinated kids is....

That the jokes get old.
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Irony will be the death of me.

What my mate said just before he fell into a blast furnace.
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I don’t like my coffee like I like my irony

Hitting me unexpectedly after flying through the air or coming out of my computer.
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The Irony of the World Cup rules...

The Japanese qualified for the next round because they have less yellow

My irony detector is defective.

It detects everything except irony.
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Things I hate:

1. Reddit posts

2. Lists

3. Irony

4. Lists

5. Repetition

7. Inconsistency
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For my cake day, a joke I read recently.

The irony of Wall Street:

The dealer, not the customer, is called “broker.”
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Our local fire station burned down last night.

Someone must've left the irony on.
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All about stress

Tits - natural anti-stress balls! The irony is that they come attached to the most effective thing to create stress!

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St.peter was standing at his podium next to the gates of heaven...

He was flipping through the pages of a magazine, bored, when God appeared in a flash of light. "Peter", he said. "Heaven has become a bit overcrowded. I'm afraid we're going to have to make some changes to policy. From now on, when people approach the gates, ask them what kind of day they had. Only ...

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My mother taught me...

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm go...

The Paradox Association has fragmented due to internal conflicts.

Many members have subsequently joined The Irony Society, but leaders of both organizations have issued statements clarifying that simultaneous membership remains an unresolved issue.
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A grammar book walks into a bar

* An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

* A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

* A bar was walked into by the pass...

What do you call a fly with no wings?

Still a fly. The irony is unfortunate but the name doesn’t change.
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What do epileptics call ambulances?

Irony on wheels!
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My wd-40 can rusted.

It was irony.
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The cover on my ironing board was wrinkled

so I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of "irony."
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My friends say that I don't understand irony...

Which is ironic because I don't even own an iron.
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A navy officer on a submarine was doing his rounds and noticed something odd...

There was what looked like a frying pan handle sticking out of the floor of the sub! The officer did some more looking around, and saw more strange things sticking out of the floor: golf clubs, clothes irons, car bumpers, and even half a bicycle!

Alarmed by this, he went up to the sub command...
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Isn't It Ironic?

My wife was trying to explain to me that I didn't know what irony meant, which was ironic because I had just taken a shower.
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