I was going to have an alien character in my next book that was a thinly veiled racist caricature

but they told me it would be plaijarjarism

I don’t trust caricature artists.

They sketch me out.

A local caricature artist got arrested today

I always thought he was a sketchy type of guy.

I made fun of an art college student with drool hanging off his face...

He decided to draw my caricature and had passers by vandalise it with mucus to teach me a lesson.

It was the spitting image of me.

Life Rules For My Son

1. Never shake a man’s hand sitting down.

2. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs ain’t one.

3. The man at the grill is the closest thing we have to a king.

4. In a negotiation, never make the first offer.

5. Act like you’ve been there before. Especially i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The judge said I should be hung, drawn and quartered.

So they gave me a penis enlarger, a caricature and a nice room on a ship.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Jamaicans...

***If you have a thing against bad accents, you're going to have a bad time.***

...Are browsing thru some generic, privately-owned shop. On their way out one of them remarks, "Dere's nuting to do in dis town." The couple who owns the shop overhears this while clerking at the front counter and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Watchmaker

The Boy was due to meet his friends down the third alley from the green sign. The bar at the end of that alley, they had said, was a place where spirits and souls mixed together with the languid flow of warm summer air.

But The Boy had started drinking when the sun was still ascending, and n...

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