Matthew McConaughey walked into a deli to order a sandwich
“What can I get for you?” the shopkeep asked.
Matthew replied, “well my good man, you see I’ve had the good fortune of becoming a world renown celebrity, an academy award winning actor, I’ve played some of the most iconic roles in television history, and I’m even known for my whimsical yet c...
Who, When, What, Why and How walk into a bar.
How: Where's Where?
Why: No, Who is already here.
When: But how?
How: Stop being silly, I got here with the rest of us.
Who: This is getting rather whimsical...
Why: I wasn't talking to you.
What: Who? ...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
The Crude Pianist.
A pianist scored an interview at a local restaurant. He is sent to the manager and is asked to play a few songs from memory.
The pianist says - “this is one of my favourites. It’s called ‘I Was Fucking Your Dog But It Bit My Penis So Now My Balls Hurt’”.
The manager, appalled, says - “...
Little Johnny came home from school one day to see the family's pet rooster dead in the front yard.....
Rigor mortis had set in and the rooster was flat on its back with its legs in the air.
When his dad came home, little Johnny asked his father, "Dad, our rooster is dead, and his legs are sticking in the air--why in the heck are his legs in the air?"
Thinking quickly, his father stated...