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Hacking Jokes

An explorer was hacking a path deep into an almost impenetrable rainforest.

After a few weeks, he stumbled across a large clearing in the trees.

Right in the middle of the clearing was a huge bull elephant, laying down on its side, motionless. As the explorer cautiously approached the elephant, he could see that it wasn’t breathing.

On closer inspection, the ...

An explorer was hacking his way through dense jungle...

... When he came across a large clearing. In the middle of the clearing was a dead elephant, and on top of the elephant sat a pygmy, whittling a stick and whistling a cheerful tune. The explorer approached carefully, and called out:

"I say! You there!"

The pygmy looked down. "What?"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Anal sex is like hacking.

You go in through the backdoor and hope a log isn't found.

TicketMaster was just fined $10 million for hacking into a competitor

At least they were told it would be $10 million, but when they went on the court's website to pay the fine, the site tacked on a bunch of "processing fees" and "venue charges" and the total came out to more like $15 million.

Off the seventh tee, Joe sliced his shot deep into a wooded ravine. He took his eight iron and clambered down the embankment in search of his lost ball. After many long minutes of hacking at the underbrush, he spotted something glistening in the leaves.

As he drew nearer, he discovered that it was an eight iron in hands of a skeleton!
Joe immediately called out to his friend, "Jack, I've got trouble down here!"
"What's the matter?"
Jack asked from the edge of the ravine.
"Bring me my wedge," Joe shouted.
"You can't get out of here wi...

What's the name of the elite hacking group from Canada?

Anonymoose

Computer Hacking Investigator Job Interview

A guy went for an interview at a big IT company for the position of "Computer Hacking Investigator"

The boss asked him:

So, what makes you suitable for this job?

Well, he replied, I hacked into your computer and invited myself to this interview.

I just got caught hacking into Mick Jagger's Windows account...

He told me, "Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!"

A man came into a doctor's office with a hacking up a lung, coughing up gobs of mucous into a handkerchief.

The staff tried to find out what was wrong and get more info from the man but he was clearly speaking a foreign language and no one could seem to identify what it was. A nurse happened to walk by the man and heard what was going on. She immediately got on her phone and soon a translator was at the m...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Gordon Ramsay's father-in-law jailed for six months for hacking chef's computer ...

Apparently, Gordon suspected the hacking when his computer was completely FUCKING FROZEN !!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After 10 years of impeccable policing, Roderick was still only a captain.

So Rod went to the prefect and asked for a promotion. Only the prefect couldn’t stand Rod, so he told him:

“You will be promoted when you complete an assignment of the highest importance. You must travel to India and bring back .... erm ... a pair of crocodile shoes!"

Roderick salutes ...

The main lumberjack at my company does some minor computer hacking in his spare time...

...he's our key logger.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lost golf balls

A man slices his golf ball into a cow pasture. He hops the fence and starts looking for it. To his surprise, a woman golfer is out there too hacking around looking for her ball. Suddenly the man spies a golf ball wedged in a cow’s vagina. He thinks for a minute that he has found his ball, but no, it...

So There's This German Driving Game...

...with all these servers for multiplayer. One server has this automatic cheat-detection system that bans players if it thinks they're hacking at all.

Well unfortunately, there's this one stretch of one particular freeway where the road is so bad it blasts drivers off into the sky. The cheat ...

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