What’s a geologist’s favorite ice cream?

Rock erode.

What is the best part about being a Geologist?

All your coworkers are down to earth

My last girlfriend was a Geologist...

She kept finding faults in me. Cracks soon appeared and we eventually split.

A geologist was driving down a country road

A geologist was driving down a country road when he saw this beautiful rock formation. He pulled over to get a closer look. As he was admiring the rock, an old farmer drove up. The geologist asked if he knew how long the rock had been here.

The farmer says "in fact, I do! It's a million and ...

Did you hear Twisted Sister performed for the "Geologist of the Year" award ceremony?

They played "I Won A Rock!"

What did the geologist say after her date?


A Geologist from Alabama could tell you the chronological order of Sandstone Layers, but not their exact ages

You could see they're into Relative Dating.



I know you expected that punchline. My apologies, when I'm under pressure my sediment jokes turn a little schist.

Please stay gneiss in the comments.

Where does a catholic geologist go to pray?

Land Mass

Why did the sad geologist skip his lunch break?

Because he lost his apatite.

A geologist, physicist and an economist are marooned on a desert island with nothing to eat.

A can of soup washes ashore. They ponder how to open it. The geologist says, ‘Let’s smash it open with a rock.’ The physicist says, ‘Let’s heat it up and blow it open.’ The economist says, ‘No, no. You guys will lose most of the soup. Let’s just assume we have a can opener.’

What do you call a famous geologist?

A rock star.

What does the drug addicted, sea faring geologist do?

Smoke seaweed, does crystal math and sails on the *high* seas.

I was going to be a geologist

But I heard it was a pretty rocky career.

Why do geologist keep some of the rocks they collected?

Because it has sedimentary value

Why are geologists so good at getting laid?

They know the best dating techniques.

What did the limestone say to the geologist?

Don’t take me for granite!

How did the geologist get down the mountain?

'e rode

What's the difference between a geologist and Dwayne Johnson conducting an experiment?

One is a rock scientist. The other is The Rock, scientist.

(This is so dumb. I apologize in advance to anyone who reads this.)

A Geologist stubs his toe


Did you hear about the geologist who got robbed?

Dieticians HATE him! Find out how this geologist lost over 100 stones OVERNIGHT!

Why are geologists so hypercritical?

Its their job to find the faults of things.

What do geologists and Bon Jovi have in common?

They're both into rock.

A geologist discovers a giant rock that's 5280 feet across

It was quite the milestone

Hey geologists, I'm having a party...

Are you (Mg,Fe2+)2(Mg,Fe2+)5Si8O22(OH)2?

Why did the geologist decide to be a paleontologist?

Because he loved rocks so much, he wanted to date them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when a group of geologists have sex?

A Georgy.

What did the statistician say to the geologist?

Your guess is as good as mine.

So one of my friends is a real up and coming geologist and quite popular with the ladies from what I hear.

Man, that guy's a rockstar.

How can you become a geologist?

Get stoned.

How do geologists get their rocks off?

By breaking them and staring at the resulting cleavage!

What’s step one to wooing a geologist?

Make sure you smell gneiss

What did one geologist say to the other while they both stared down at a giant fissure in the rocks?

“I wonder whose fault this is.”

Geologists really love rocks....

...that's why they date them!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Geologists may not always get along, but when the schist hits the fan...

Its coarse-grained, metamorphic layers can be split into thin irregular plates from the impact.

I used to be a geologist

It was a boring job

I really admire geologists.

They leave no stone unturned.

Dave the geologist wasn't able to find a girlfriend for a while now

Once, he and his friends were walking down the street when they saw a fairly attractive girl.
His friend exclaimed "Dave! Will you date her?"
Dave said, "Yup, probably 25 years."

I hate it when geologists explain the reasons behind earthquakes.

All that stupid faulty logic.

What type of music do geologists listen to?


What is the highest honour for a geologist

To become a knight of the tectonic order.

Why did the geologist get divorced?

He took his wife for granite.

I must be a geologist

I keep finding a new rock bottom.

What do you call a geologist who can't hear?

Stone deaf...

A geologist falls down a mountain and dies...

I guess you could say he hit rock bottom...

Where do geologists go for entertainment?

*Rock concerts.*

You hear the one about a geologist that was an alcoholic?

He found rock bottom.

I'm no geologist

But when I look at mountains in the morning I take them for granite

What happens when you screw up

Biologist screws up:
Mutant virus

Physicist screws up:
Deadly black hole

Geologists screws up:
Rock on table is now rock on floor

How did the geologist win his lawsuit?

By taking advantage of the quartz system.

What did the geologist say when he got a rock for his birthday?

I appreciate the sediment.

What would you call your geologist friend if you are a pokemon fan?


Why do geologists perform so well during intercourse?

They really know how to make bedrock.

Did you know that Santa Claus is both an arborist and a geologist?

He's gonna find out what's knotty or gneiss.

Why do geologists have children with birth defects?

Because they practice relative dating!

"I wanna rock!"

~said the angry geologist.

Did you hear about the group of geologists?

They formed a Rock Band.

How did the geologist develop a career as a sink-hole expert?

She just fell into it.

My dad always told me “don’t be quick to find faults”.

Good man, terrible geologist.

Anyone who doesn’t understand...

The difference between geologists and geographers really rock my world

Wanna know what you call a smart crackhead?

A geologist.

the knights

What is the name of the knight who moonlights as a geologist?

Sir Vey

What is the name of the agreeable knight?

Sir Tenly

What is the name of the Knight who used to be a slave?

Sir Vent

What are the names of the Knights who run the graduation ceremony?

Why did the geologist quit his job?

His boss always took him for granite.

Bad Dad Joke:

Q: Did you hear two University Geologists broke off their engagement?

A: the relationship was rocky from the start

Two Eskimos have killed a walrus

and they are on their way to their settlement. They are pulling the walrus by the tail, but it's really hard to pull since its tusks keep digging into the snow and the tail continuously slips out of their grip.

Halfway home, they come across a geologist. The geologist sees their struggle and ...

True story

I've met a research geologist whose work was groundbreaking.

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