What’s a geologist’s favorite ice cream?

Rock erode.

A geologist, physicist and an economist are marooned on a desert island with nothing to eat.

A can of soup washes ashore. They ponder how to open it. The geologist says, ‘Let’s smash it open with a rock.’ The physicist says, ‘Let’s heat it up and blow it open.’ The economist says, ‘No, no. You guys will lose most of the soup. Let’s just assume we have a can opener.’

I really admire geologists.

They leave no stone unturned.

Where does a catholic geologist go to pray?

Land Mass

Why did the geologist eat so much?

She had an apatite.

I was going to be a geologist

But I heard it was a pretty rocky career.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when a group of geologists have sex?

A Georgy.

Why are geologists so hypercritical?

Its their job to find the faults of things.

What do you call a famous geologist?

A rock star.

What did the limestone say to the geologist?

Don’t take me for granite!

A Geologist stubs his toe


Did you hear about the geologist who got robbed?

Dieticians HATE him! Find out how this geologist lost over 100 stones OVERNIGHT!

Why do geologist keep some of the rocks they collected?

Because it has sedimentary value

A geologist discovers a giant rock that's 5280 feet across

It was quite the milestone

What’s step one to wooing a geologist?

Make sure you smell gneiss

How did the geologist get down the mountain?

'e rode

So one of my friends is a real up and coming geologist and quite popular with the ladies from what I hear.

Man, that guy's a rockstar.

How do geologists get their rocks off?

By breaking them and staring at the resulting cleavage!

What did the statistician say to the geologist?

Your guess is as good as mine.

What did one geologist say to the other while they both stared down at a giant fissure in the rocks?

“I wonder whose fault this is.”

Hey geologists, I'm having a party...

Are you (Mg,Fe2+)2(Mg,Fe2+)5Si8O22(OH)2?

Dave the geologist wasn't able to find a girlfriend for a while now

Once, he and his friends were walking down the street when they saw a fairly attractive girl.
His friend exclaimed "Dave! Will you date her?"
Dave said, "Yup, probably 25 years."

Why did the geologist decide to be a paleontologist?

Because he loved rocks so much, he wanted to date them.

My father always told me, "Don't be too quick to find faults"

Great man, terrible geologist.

How can you become a geologist?

Get stoned.

Geologists really love rocks....

...that's why they date them!

I hate it when geologists explain the reasons behind earthquakes.

All that stupid faulty logic.

What is the highest honour for a geologist

To become a knight of the tectonic order.

Why did the geologist get divorced?

He took his wife for granite.

What's a British geologists favourite fruit?


I must be a geologist

I keep finding a new rock bottom.

A geologist falls down a mountain and dies...

I guess you could say he hit rock bottom...

I'm no geologist

But when I look at mountains in the morning I take them for granite

What do you call a geologist who can't hear?

Stone deaf...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Geologists may not always get along, but when the schist hits the fan...

Its coarse-grained, metamorphic layers can be split into thin irregular plates from the impact.

Where do geologists go for entertainment?

*Rock concerts.*

Why do geologists perform so well during intercourse?

They really know how to make bedrock.

You hear the one about a geologist that was an alcoholic?

He found rock bottom.

How did the geologist win his lawsuit?

By taking advantage of the quartz system.

Why wasn't the geologist hungry?

He lost his apatite.

I know that joke has its faults, so I'll just accept my pumicement and go back to looking at cleavage.

What did the geologist say when he got a rock for his birthday?

I appreciate the sediment.

What would you call your geologist friend if you are a pokemon fan?


Did you hear about the group of geologists?

They formed a Rock Band.

Did you know that Santa Claus is both an arborist and a geologist?

He's gonna find out what's knotty or gneiss.

Why do geologists have children with birth defects?

Because they practice relative dating!

the knights

What is the name of the knight who moonlights as a geologist?

Sir Vey

What is the name of the agreeable knight?

Sir Tenly

What is the name of the Knight who used to be a slave?

Sir Vent

What are the names of the Knights who run the graduation ceremony?

Why did the geologist quit his job?

His boss always took him for granite.

Wanna know what you call a smart crackhead?

A geologist.

Bad Dad Joke:

Q: Did you hear two University Geologists broke off their engagement?

A: the relationship was rocky from the start

"I wanna rock!"

~said the angry geologist.

Two Eskimos have killed a walrus

and they are on their way to their settlement. They are pulling the walrus by the tail, but it's really hard to pull since its tusks keep digging into the snow and the tail continuously slips out of their grip.

Halfway home, they come across a geologist. The geologist sees their struggle and ...

True story

I've met a research geologist whose work was groundbreaking.

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