Because hippos are surprisingly dangerous, zoologists use the Pythagorean theorem to calculate the length of their backs.

This is called finding the hippotenuse.

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I was walking through the park

I see a group of guys with pencils and paper writing things down. I say, "hey guys, what's up?" They say, "we're counting crows." They see my excitement, and I say, "oh shit, I love your music." One of them frowns and replies, "we're zoologists."

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An african zoologist moves to Rural Alabama. One day, a farmer knocks on the door, behind him is his wife, holding a black baby...

Immediatly, the farmer grabs the zoologist by his collar and yells "Now you see here! See that kid over there! I've got Nine kids and they aaall white. And alla' sudden, this one comes out black! And you the only black man in a 300 mile radius, mind explaining that one to me?"

The zoologist r...

What did the zoologist and herbologist name their child?

Tiger Woods

You know how to pick up a zoologist?

Send them dik-dik pics.

A zoologist, a statistician, and a mathematician are sitting across the street from an empty house.

While they are sitting there they see two people enter the house. A short while later they see three people leave the house.

The zoologist says "They must have reproduced."
The statistician says "Our initial count must have been wrong."
The mathematician says "If one more person goes in...

I met up with my zoologist friend the other day and he told me that he's working on a big project - he's attempting to study the characteristics of giraffes across various taxonomical groups.

I told him that seems like a rather tall order.

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A joke a friend told me

A zoologist and a drunk guy walk into a bar, the zoologist has a small crocodile when he sits down he puts the crocodile in the counter.

And the bartender was like "Get that crocodile off my bar".

The zoologist replies "Don't worry, he is not dangerous". And so he opens the crocodile's...

There once was a snake breeder...

There once was a snake breeder who had two snakes he was trying to mate. For the life of him, he couldn't get them within two feet of each other. Frustrated, he called up the local zoologist, and explained the situation. She hurried over, picked up the snakes and looked at them. "You know what I wou...

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A Panda walks into a bar

where a man and a woman had already been sharing drinks. They whip their heads around and exclaim, "A panda! Bartender, there's a panda in here!" Not wanting to be rude, the bartender invites the panda to have a seat at the bar. The panda, to the disbelief of those watching, orders a beer and some w...

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