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Zoologist Jokes

The zoologist wanted a new tv

The one he was looking at way too expensive, so he settled for a monitor lizard.

You know how to pick up a zoologist?

Send them dik-dik pics.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An african zoologist moves to Rural Alabama. One day, a farmer knocks on the door, behind him is his wife, holding a black baby...

Immediatly, the farmer grabs the zoologist by his collar and yells "Now you see here! See that kid over there! I've got Nine kids and they aaall white. And alla' sudden, this one comes out black! And you the only black man in a 300 mile radius, mind explaining that one to me?"

The zoologist r...

Why are herpetologist the most inquisitive zoologists?

Because they axolotl questions.

A Zoologist was arrested for living with Lemurs.

She was part of a conspiracy.

What did the zoologist and herbologist name their child?

Tiger Woods

What do Zoologists and Chess players both get excited over?

Mating patterns

A desperate zoo

The leading zoologist gets a phone call one day from a desperate zoo, asking him to come right away and they will pay double.

He gets to the zoo and talks to the head keeper who explains that unfortunately while they were moving the animals around it seems like one of the zebra’s has got preg...

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A joke a friend told me

A zoologist and a drunk guy walk into a bar, the zoologist has a small crocodile when he sits down he puts the crocodile in the counter.

And the bartender was like "Get that crocodile off my bar".

The zoologist replies "Don't worry, he is not dangerous". And so he opens the crocodile's...

A zoologist, a statistician, and a mathematician are sitting across the street from an empty house.

While they are sitting there they see two people enter the house. A short while later they see three people leave the house.

The zoologist says "They must have reproduced."
The statistician says "Our initial count must have been wrong."
The mathematician says "If one more person goes in...

A white baby was born in a black tribe from the jungle

The news travelled fast around the tribe and soon after, the confusion led to anger. Upon his return from the jungle, the white British zoologist who was living with the tribe for the past 3 years, was quickly apprehended and brought to the tribe's chief to be urgently judged.

At first, the t...

Any good mechanic will tell you that it's very easy to blow a seal...

However, most zoologists disagree ;)

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A Panda walks into a bar

where a man and a woman had already been sharing drinks. They whip their heads around and exclaim, "A panda! Bartender, there's a panda in here!" Not wanting to be rude, the bartender invites the panda to have a seat at the bar. The panda, to the disbelief of those watching, orders a beer and some w...

There once was a snake breeder...

There once was a snake breeder who had two snakes he was trying to mate. For the life of him, he couldn't get them within two feet of each other. Frustrated, he called up the local zoologist, and explained the situation. She hurried over, picked up the snakes and looked at them. "You know what I wou...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was walking through the park

I see a group of guys with pencils and paper writing things down. I say, "hey guys, what's up?" They say, "we're counting crows." They see my excitement, and I say, "oh shit, I love your music." One of them frowns and replies, "we're zoologists."

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