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Paleontologist Jokes

Why shouldn't you mess with a paleontologist?

Because you'll get jurrasskicked.

Why was the paleontologist angry?

He still had a bone to pick.

Why do people from Alabama make the best paleontologists?

They're amazing at relative dating.

Paleontologists are having a party to celebrate unearthing the largest ever dinosaur Tibia.

It's going to be quite the shindig.

What does Melania Trump and a paleontologist have in common?

Both are experts in dating fossils.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you confuse a paleontologist?

Give him a used tampon and ask him what period it came from.

What does a paleontologist say to start a fight?

I've got a bone to pick with you.

Yo mama so old

Her chiropractor a paleontologist

Why did the redneck want to become a paleontologist?

He heard they deal with relative dating!

Why did the paleontologist go to the doctor?

He discovered a dino sore.

Why were the paleontologists kissing?

They were carbon dating

Paleontologists are celebrating the finding of the largest dinosaur tibia in recorded history

It's a real shin-dig!

Why did the geologist decide to be a paleontologist?

Because he loved rocks so much, he wanted to date them.

Why did the paleontologist measure the height of a dinosaur using a T-Rex's foot?

Jurassic times call for Jurassic
Measures.

What did the paleontologist say to his wife after 6 months in the field ?

You wanna bone?

What is the relationship between an old fossil and a paleontologist called?

Carbon Dating

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Paleontologists have found a fossil so complete, they were actually able to deduce that the species may have practiced anal sex.

They're calling it Myassisaur.

Did you hear about the paleontologist who tripped down the stairs?

He broke his Ankylosaurus.

I'm making an app like Tinder, but exclusively for paleontologists

I'm calling it "Carbon Dating"

Two paleontologists where moaning in a ditch

One found a bone

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Paleontologist discovers rare Coprolite

In archeological news, an paleontologist discovered a rare collection of Coprolite during a dig in Arizona. Coprolite is the fossilized digestive waste of a dinosaur, and its discovery indicates that they are likely to find dinosaur bones in the area, and at that depth.

Incidentally, the pal...

Did you hear that Diana had to give up her lifelong dream of being a paleontologist because she developed a bad back from all the bending over to study bones?

Yeah, Diana sore.

You’re so old...

When they bury you, paleontologists will be racing to dig you back up.

Hey, are you a paleontologist?

Because I’ve got a massive bone in my pants for you to study.

Daughter’s favourite knock knock joke

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Interrupting paleontologist

Interrupting paleon...

DINOSAUR! DINOSAUR! DINOSAUR!

Paleontologists have determined that there once was a genetic mutation millions of years ago that resulted in the creation of a five-legged dinosaur.

As far as we know, this is the first evidence ever seen of a reptile dysfunction.

I don't consider my self a necrophilia,

... but more of a paleontologist.

The Drums

The paleontologist Ben and his translator arrive on the remote island.



So the guide arrives. Ben says "Ask him about those drums?"



The translator says something; the guide says something.

"He says 'Drums are good. If the drums stop, then it's bad.'"

...

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