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[NSFW] What is the ornithologist with binoculars doing on the nudist beach?

Looking for Great Tits!

Why I’m single - a transcript of my first date with an ornithologist

Me: So, what do you do for a living?
Ornithologist: Actually, I’m an ornithologist.
Me: Oh, really? Knock, knock!
Ornithologist (*smiling overbearingly*): Who’s there?
Me: A woodpecker! And you call yourself an ornithologist?
Ornithologist (*trying not to roll eyes*): Good o...

Breaking news! A group of ornithologists have recently published a study concerning the primary cause of death among Swallows:

Apparently, they don’t chew their food.

Have you heard about the broke ornithologist?

His budgie-ting skills were horrible!

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All men truly are passionate ornithologists at hearth..

Why else would they spend so much time observing *Tits* in their diverse natural habitats?

An ornithologist reminisces about his past and says,

"I have many egrets."

--
Note: this was an old tweet of mine I changed into my first original joke!

What did one ornithologist say to the other?

That's a nice tit!

Did you hear about the dyslexic ornithologist?

He was a terrible word botcher.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm looking for a woman who has great tits and swallows

Signed: Ben the ornithologist

In other news

Inspired by Colin Mochrie's 6:00 News on Who's Line, I tried to come up with my own.

We now return you to your 6:00 news. I'm your host, Armand Dangerous. Earlier today, a man who lost a digit to his foot after a grievous skiing accident underwent a groundbreaking surgery where he requested t...

What is the difference between an ornithologist and a stutterer?

One is a bird watcher, and the other is a word botcher.

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A football player at a university wanted to take an easy class

A friend told him he should take the ornithology class. "Ornithology?", he said, "What's that?"

"It's the study of birds," his friend told him, "but don't worry, the professor is 80 years old and hardly ever shows up for class. When he does show up, he falls right to sleep. All you have to do...

I met a girl who used to take care of owls for rich people who had them as pets.

I asked her if she was an ornithologist. She was not. I said, "So you're just like a bird baby sitter?" "Of course not"., she replied.

"I'm a Hootenanny."

Dead crows

There were many dead crows on highways in the Rocky Mountains this year. Ornithologists suspected it was due to vehicles hitting the crows.

This was surprising because crows have adapted to feeding on carcasses by having two birds watching from the trees while two birds feed. If there is a v...

A few years ago, in the Boston area,

A large number of crows were found dead on the sides of the road. Ornithologists, were afraid of a new strain of Avian Flu, so they collected a few bodies to perform autopsies on. They ended up finding paint chips on every single one of the birds, so they analyzed them, and found that they were fro...

A group of naturalists found hundreds of dead crows near highways. They began investigating.

They brought an Ornithologist in, who discovered that 90% had been killed by trucks. After some study, they figured out that it was because the crows could say "Caw!" but not "Truck!"

So I saw a study online...

Apparently a bunch of crows have been dying lately. One ornithologist linked their deaths to vehicles, whether it's them running into the vehicle, or the crows not moving out of the way.

An ornithologist for one university actually took it further, he wanted to know whether the majority of de...

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