UPJOKE
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The geek, the girl and the bicycle

Two engeneering majors (geeks) meet. One tell the other what happened to him. “Yesterday I had the strangest of things happen. I was walking home from class when a young beautiful women on a bicycle stopped in front of me.” His friend begged him to continue. “So, she looked me up and down, ripped he...

What do you call forty geeks playing Monopoly?

Microsoft.

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GEEKS NOT ALLOWED-ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK

This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers
stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the
door saying "GEEKS NOT ALLOWED-ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!"
He goes in and sits down.

The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, says he smells kind of...

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The dirty joke from 'Freaks and Geeks'

A woman puts an ad in the paper looking for a man who wouldn't run away at the sight of commitment, who wouldn't hit her, and could fulfill her sex life. Two weeks go by and nothing. Finally one day the door bell rings. She opens the door and sees a no-armed, no-legged man.

She looks at him ...

Why are linux geeks very introvertish ?

Because they never get out of their shell

How many geeks does it take to ruin a joke?

You mean nerd, not geek. And not joke, but riddle. Proceed.

Two geeks are talking over lunch.

The first guy says, "You wouldn't believe what happened this morning. A girl rode up to me on her bike, took off all her clothes, and said 'Take whatever you want!' … So I took the bike" The second guy says, "Good choice, her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."

Where do math geeks usually sleep at?

the matrices

I'm throwing a party for a bunch of science geeks tomorrow night

First person who falls asleep gets "The Earth Is Flat" in sharpie on their forehead.

How to rid yourself of geeks [**star wars spoilers**]

thats how

I was once in a music group called, "Fat Technology Geeks".

We've since updated our name to: "Broadband".

I saw the actress who is in Cougartown and Freeks and Geeks at a store today. I shouted at her to ask her name but she continued what she was doing and left quickly after that

I guess she was busy

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A principal notices a Post-It on a locker.

"Jocks of JFK High! This small change in diet can boost your physique FOREVER! Head to the gym to find out how!"

Puzzled, he pulls it off and continues down the hall. Just a few lockers down, another catches his eye.

"Hey goth girls! Tired of dark eyeliner that just runs all day? One ...

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NASA sends out a probe to Uranus

Geeks around the world giggle.

Bill Gates wanted to make a new friend.

He logged into his computer and found some strangers who seemed nice, so he sent them some funny pictures and told him a little about himself. For days, his posts went nowhere. He was never getting any responses, so he decided to send some videos instead, thinking people just didn't believe it was h...

Working Redditors: What is your favorite joke about your own profession?

Retired U.S. Air Force here and this is my favorite military joke:

The biggest difference between the branches of the U.S. Armed Forces is that if you give the order to **"Secure that building!"**

* The Army will kick the doors down, enter with weapons drawn, eliminate all hostiles...

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Computer idiots (Warning: Old)

Any time you feel dumb, don't worry. Check out the following excerpts from a "Wall Street Journal" article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you.

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the many calls asking where the "Any" k...

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