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It just struck me that in British slang the US President's surname means "Fart" and in US slang the British prime minister's surname means "Penis"



I can't wait to tell the wife. She'll laugh her Merkel off.

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I don't think I'll ever understand college kids and their "Netflix and chill" slang...

...when are they gonna realize they can fuck each other without paying $10 a month?

This r/jokes sub uses a lot of military slang ...

every repost is like ... copy that.

What do the French use as slang for marijuana?

β€œOui-d”

What is witches slang for a creampie?

The leaky cauldron

What do you call Australian slang?

Dingo Lingo.

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A guy accidentally says another girls name during sex

One day, Matt is fucking his girlfriend, Sarah, in his apartment, after they both spent some time together. They're both passionately going at it, and look into each others eyes, and as Matt is about to climax he yells "Ohhh, Angela!"

Sarah instantly stops, and gives a sharp cold look, and sh...

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Understanding modern British slang

Is a right Peng in the arse.

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My British coworker

My British coworker is new to America, and he delights in telling me and my other coworkers about all things British. Today he was trying to explain Cockney rhyming slang - things like saying "have a butcher's" instead of "have a look", because "butcher's hook" rhymes with "look"; or "a cup of Ro...

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An Irishman stops at an airport in England...

An Irishman stops at an airport in England. While he's waiting for his flight to arrive, he decides to make a quick stop at the airport bar.

As it's late at night, there's only the bartender and two other people there. Always willing to make a new friend, he sits down with the two and starts ...

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In Shakesperean language, 'wit' was slang for a man's penis

It takes a new meaning to the motto of Ravenclaw house: "Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure"

What do you call the slang of Fairy World?

Jorgen

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A man was pressured by his parents to attend a formal gathering...

Everything was going fairly well. He was largely being ignored, which was for the best so he avoided saying anything to embarrass himself.
Unfortunately, he had been holding in a nearly full bladder full a while and it could not wait until the end of the party. he had no choice but to walk up to ...

What's the slang term for a harpsichord?

A baroque man's piano.

Inventing new slang words can be easy.

Let me go take a quick Trump and I'll show you when I get back.

What do you call a website full of common Indian phrases and slang?

Turban Dictionary

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Four women were chatting in the locker room (nsfw)

When one of them mentioned the fact that while there were numerous terms for male masturbation: jerking off, wanking, spanking the monkey, and so on... there weren't any common terms for female masturbation.

"I've always called it 'jilling off'," said one of the women.

"But that's just...

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The White Knight and the Black Knight.

Note, this story was from Gigi Proietti, an Italian comedian who's from Rome, and I must say it loses a lot without the Roman accent and slang, but I'll try my best :D

The White Knight and the Black Knight.

So once there was this teacher, really passionate about his job, who always wan...

Who is a "dumbass"

While at college, foreign students found an online English-to-English dictionary of American slang.

Awesome read, but almost all agreed there was no need to look up for the word "dumbass" as it was completely clear.

One student persisted.

And got the answer - the dictionary stat...

What do you call a truck made of stone?

A stat-ute, mate.

(Ute is Australian slang for utility vehicle)

Top Ten Signs Your Amish Teen Is In Trouble

Sometimes stays in bed till after 6 am.

In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.

Shows up at barn raisings in full "Kiss" makeup.

When you criticize him, he yells, "Thou suck!"

His name is Jebediah, but he goes by "Jeb Daddy."

Defiantly s...

Did you hear about the kinky whelk?

It pulled a mussel.

This doesn't work in American English.

In British slang, if you chat someone up and they like you, you have *pulled*.

Sorry I failed!

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A kid'a parents didn't want him to learn bad words...

*English isn't my first language so tell me if there are any mistakes*

So one day the father was taking the kid to the mall for a haircut, they walk out the door and the father suddenly remembers he forgot his keys.

He forgets him and his SO's idea and says "Shit! I forgot my keys" th...

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A skinhead is arrested for drug offenses and goes to prison

At first he's worried, as he's used to having lots of followers backing him up and isn't sure how he'll deal with the other inmates. He decides the best way to get ahead is to find prisoners of a similar mindset and join then.

He sees some skinny white dudes coming in from a back area. Figuri...

[Request] redneck jokes

My sis is in jail and really wants funny slang terms used by rednecks. I have looked online and there are a couple of short list and some books for sale. I don't mind mailing her a book but I thought this might be a better resource to try first
Thank you all in advance.

Compilation of short "jokes"

☐ There should be TL;DRs on Terms and Conditions

☐ I never click the top Google result if it's an advert even if it's exactly what I want

☐ The amount of battery left on my phone is proportional to how hard I've been working that day

☐ Smart watches should be able to delete your...

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Chum the sheep

There was this young man who had had enough of city life so he moves to the country and decides to run a sheep farm. He educated himself as much as he could on how to run a farm. He bought a farm, and buys a heard of sheep. Everything is going well, the sheep are properly housed and fed. The she...

making holy water is easy....

you boil the hell out of it but how to you turn that holy water back into regular tap water?

You cook the bejesus out of it.


*bejesus may be a local slang but i hope not.

Simple instructions from an English teacher for a great essay.

1. Don't use no double negatives.
2. Don't abbrev.
3. Personally, in my opinion, a writer or essayist should not make use of too many words or phrases which he does not necessarily need in many cases.
4. About sentence fragments.
5. Dont, use, commas, when they are, unnecessary.
6. Ke...

My brother in jail will send text messages

They're full of prison slang. I think he's trying to say he's sorry and he loves us but I just don't get the con text.

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I'll never forget giving Noel Gallagher his first guitar. He said to me, "What's that knob at the front for?"

I said, "It's Liam, he's the lead singer."

(and because I know I'll have too, UK slang has knob as another word for cock)

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