Dialect Jokes - 9 Hilarious Dialect Jokes

Americans have a strange dialect.

It's all "sneakers" instead of "trainers"...

... and "sweater" instead of "jumper"...

... and "shooting range" instead of "high school"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a pet store

He tells the attendant that he is chasing something a little different, “everyone has dogs and cats and birds and fish, I want something different”

The attendant says “I’ve got just the thing, here, we have a talking centipede”

“Perfect says the man, that sounds great ill take one of...

What did Ferdinand and Eliza name their first daughter?

Why, they called that child "Ferdeliza".
(better as a dialect joke, in a deep Southern accent)

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An Englishman and a Scotsman are enjoying a night out...

And suddenly the Englishman turns to the Scot and says: "You know, my dear fellow, I do so love the way the Scottish dialect sounds. Would you have any easy pointers in how I could sound more Scottish?"

The Scot agrees and tells him one simple trick. "A'richt noo gang huv a go it oan that gro...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've written a book about a young girl

who takes drugs and encounters all kinds of strange creatures talking in almost incomprehensible dialect. It ends up with her getting pregnant and becoming a single mother, living on a estate and surviving off benefits.

It's called "Alice in Sunderland".

My ex, Alexandra, was doing a crossword.

"I need your help," she said, scanning the clue. "The form of a language that people speak...eight letters..."

I said, "Dialects."

She said, "That's mean, and I prefer it when you call me by my full name."

There was a contest on who had the most children...

Contestant #1 walked out on the stage with 12 children behind him. The audience clapped politely, and one of the judges commented "That's a lot of kids, but you can do better."

Contestant #2 walked out on the stage, bringing with him 24 children, all of different ages. The audience clapped mo...

6 Men kidnap a blonde

They let go of her after being paid the ransom. Now the blonde is being questioned by the cops,for info on the kidnappers.

Cop:Mam, did you get a good look at them?

Blonde:No they were wearing masks.

Cop: Do you have anything to help us with the case?

Blonde: Yes I do...

Stalin calls a meeting in the Politburo

To hold a debate on wether there will be money in the Soviet Union. The two main factions, led by Trotsky and Bukharin, represent left- and right-wing views. Trotsky said, "We should absolutely abolish money, the state should be able to provide all of its citizens." Bukharin rises to speak, saying, ...

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