Two great football fanatics, Andy and Stevie, were discussing the chances of football being played in Heaven.

They couldn't see how any self-respecting Heaven would not have football - but yet, they weren't quite sure. Finally they agreed that the one who died first would come back and tell the other if they played football in Heaven or not.

Not long afterwards, Andy was run over by a bus and killed...

I got into a huge fight with my husband, who was a star war fanatic.

"May divorce be with you. " he said.

A group of chess-playing fanatics would gather each day in the hotel lobby to brag about their greatest victories.

There came a day when the hotel manager barred the group from the lobby because he couldn't stand to listen to a band of chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

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Porn movies are positive movies:

No murder,
No war,
No fight,
No conspiracy,
No cheating,
No racism,
No religious fanatics,
No language problem,
No crying or teasing,
Good cooperation,
Good coordination,
Natural acting,
Everybody enjoys the climax,
Lots of love,
...

Two baseball fanatics...

Jake and Johnny were the best of friends and fanatical about the game of baseball. While watching the World Series the two pondered if baseball existed in heaven.

"You think heaven will have baseball?," asked Jake.

"I certainly hope so!," Johnny said. "Tell you what, let's make a deal...

One for the English Teachers/Fanatics

What do you call 2000 mockingbirds?

2 kilo mockingbird.

How do you comfort a grammar fanatic?

their, there, they're.

A Mozart fanatic visits his tomb in Austria...

John is a gigantic Mozart fanatic. He's listened to every one of his many compositions, paid attention to the melodies and how they were composed, and the thought process of their creation. All that John has left to do is to visit Mozart's tomb.

John travels to Austria and visits his tomb. Wh...

I'm a narcoleptic Green Day fanatic,

Wake me up when September ends.

I came out to my girlfriend about being a golden shower fanatic today...

I told her straight up, “Either urine, or you’re out!”

A Canadian farmer, a Muslim fanatic, and a white trash biker...

Three men - a Canadian farmer, a Muslim fanatic and a White Trash Biker are all walking together one day.

They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

'I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total', says the Genie.

The Canadian says, 'I am a farm...

On their honeymoon, the new husband told his bride: “I have a confession to make that I should have made before, but I was concerned that it might affect our relationship.”

“What is it?” his new bride asked lovingly.

“I’m a golf fanatic,” he said. “I think about golf constantly. I’ll be out on the golf course every weekend, every holiday, and every chance I get. If it comes to a choice between your wishes and golf, golf will always win.”


His new bride...

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The man who loved fishing

A husband is fanatical about fishing.

Twice a month on the weekend, he heads out for the lake early and spends most of the day.

He does this come rain or shine.

One Saturday morning he gets up early, dresses quietly, gets his lunch made, puts on his long johns, grabs the dog and...

At a university exchange programme, an American student met a Syrian student.

“How are the things going on in your country right now?”

“Not good. We still don’t have proper medical facilities, there are plenty of homeless people, lots of religious fanatics and mass murders keep happening everyday.”

“The things aren’t that great here as well,” replied the Syrian ...

Bill Gates is walking on his private beach of his villa...

...and finds an old bottle in the sand. He opens it and a genie appears. The genie euphorically says: "Thanks for the rescue, Master, you have one wish."
Gates does not think long and says: "Here is a map with all the crisis areas of the earth. There should be peace everywhere." The ghost takes t...

Five atheists are driving in a car

Five atheists are driving in a car when they pass a church. Two priests are tending the lawns outside the church.

A sign outside the church says "Beware! The End is Near! Turn yourself around Right Now before it's too late!"

The atheists shout at the priests "Leave us alone you miserab...

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Why I changed my name

Well, for my story to make any sense, I need to clarify that I'm somewhat of a celebrity in my country. I think even internationally people have heard about me, though I'm not too sure about it (fortunately the people who know about me also tend to be technologically a bit behind the curve, so you d...

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Custer's Last Thought

There was a man who was a fanatic and collector of Old Western artifacts, documents, etc. Cowboys and Indians, this guy wanted it all.

After a while of staring at his already large collection, he thinks for a moment and suddenly gets and idea on how to increase it furthermore. So he calls up ...

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