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Enthusiast Jokes

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel.

They were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories when the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

''But why?'' they asked, as they moved off.

''Because,'' he said ''I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.''

What do you call a boomerang enthusiast convention?

A meet and yeet

What do German car enthusiasts say in Texas?

Audi

Apparently origami enthusiasts are bad at poker...

they're always folding.

I'll see myself out. lol

a very enthusiastic teen

Went to the drug store to get the necessities of his first love making experience.
He said to the pharmacist "I need 12 rubbers. I have a hot date with the school tramp. We are going all the way tonight"

Later that night at his dates house. The girls family invites him in for some dinner...

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A porn enthusiast, a carpenter, and Alexander the Great walk into a bar.

They came, they saw, they conquered.

For all you economics enthusiasts

Three economists go hunting and come across a deer.
The first economist aims and fires but the bullets misses and goes a little to the left.
The second economist aims and fires but the bullet misses and goes a little to the right.
The third economist starts celebrating and exclaims “yaho...

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What do you call a group of blowjob enthusiasts?

A gaggle

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What did the testicle torture enthusiast say after a long day?

Ahhh, time to hit the sack.

(Original Joke?) What do you call a stick figure who is enthusiastic about working out?

A gymna-stick.

Sports Enthusiasts

I got hired by my local baseball team to keep the players cool in the locker room. It was a difficult job because I'm not a fan.

Before my abusive father left, he was really enthusiastic about vacuuming

He would always say "Whenever I look at your face I want you to Dyson"

Why did the tea enthusiast get kicked out of the Taiwanese tea shop?

Because he took toolong.

I was passing the community-centre and I overheard these board-game enthusiasts who were standing in the entrance, bragging to one another about their various accomplishments.

I do love the sound of chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer...

How do car enthusiasts refer to their children?

Same make, different model.

Did you hear about the coffee enthusiast that was arrested for driving over Caucasians?

He loved a flat white.

Train enthusiasts are called foamers...

So that must make boat enthusiasts Seafoamers.

The village blacksmith hired an enthusiastic new apprentice

His new apprentice was willing to work long, hard hours.

One day he instructed the boy, “When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil. When I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer.”

The apprentice did exactly as he was told, and now he’s the new village blacksmith.

My girlfriend left me and became a motorcycle enthusiast

I guess she prefers two strokes to one stroke

A tractor enthusiast

A tractor enthusiast from the country decides to leave his farm and assortment of tractors for a life in the city. He gets a job in a fancy high rise building. One day, the floor he works on catches fire. With one breath the man sucks up all the smoke and flames and blows it out the window. When all...

How do two German car enthusiast cowboys greet each other?

Audi, partner

Time Stands Still for Enthusiast PC Owners...

They are so over clocks!

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Two strangers, a man and a woman, are sharing a sleeper cab on an overnight train

At around midnight, as they are both trying to fall asleep, the man says to the woman:

"Excuse me ma'am, but it's really cold, would you mind passing me one of the extra blankets on the table beside you?"

The woman answers:

"I'll tell you what, I'm also feeling really cold, for ...

An ant colony enthusiast goes to a convention

His pride and joy is a colony of giant Amazonian ants, *Dinoponera gigantea,* which he brings along with him to present. But when he gets to the door of the convention hall, he's stopped by one of the organizers, who points to a sign on the wall. It says "all ants must not be more than 1 cm in total...

Worlds biggest tractor enthusiast...

A man spends his life collecting memorabilia, merchandise and every other trinket to do with tractors. He works in a tractor shop, has tractor dreams and spends every moment of his free time working on his very own tractor.
One day however, he realises that he needs more, so he turns his life ar...

As an intolerant dyslexic sports enthusiast...

I really hate all transrefs coming between seasons in college football.

It's fine to be enthusiastic about sailing...

Just don't go overboard

How to tell if a person is a stock market trader or a cuckolding enthusiast?

Ask them the opposite of 'bull'.

An aviation enthusiast enters a bar.

He asks, "Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?" The bartender laughs and says, "Sorry, we only have plain chips."

I'm thinking of starting a group for barbecue chicken enthusiasts.

Hmu if you'd like to join the 'Cue Clucks Clan.

OC joke: How to differentiate if a person is a genetics expert or a BDSM enthusiast?

Ask them the opposite of 'dominant'

I was busy talking to this guy who was a fake phone enthusiast

Turns out he was a big phoney

What do you call the job title of a firearms enthusiast and speechwriter?

A glockenspiel.

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A vegan, an atheist, and a CrossFit enthusiast walk into a bar.

I only know because they wouldn't shut the fuck up about it.

I started a group for anonymous cycling enthusiasts.

But so far the members who’ve joined Pedalphiles seem to know nothing about bicycles in general.

My girlfriend said she wanted to try doggy style. Naturally I was enthusiastic.

Until she pulled out the strap on.

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A woman who is constantly embarrassed by her husband falling asleep in church goes to the priest to ask for help.

The priest says, "Look love, if he falls asleep again, poke him with this hat pin. I'll nod to you as a signal to poke him.". The woman agrees to the plan.

So Sunday rolls around and sure enough, good old Mr. Jones nods off again. The priest notices and asks, "Who is our savior?" then nods to...

Why are rappers so enthusiastic about their stage names?

I guess they’re a lil’ something to be proud of.

Why are scuba enthusiasts so fond of chocolate?

Because they're Godivas

How does the enthusiastic man eat his hot dog?

With relish.

What do bondage enthusiasts use to do their laundry?

Tied pods.

What did the busy BDSM enthusiast say to avoid coming into work?

"Sorry, my hands are tied!" ^^im ^^^so ^^^^sorry

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My Jewish girlfriend wasn't too enthusiastic about anal ..

Until I showed her how much we can save on condoms ...

I am also a proud antivaxx mother, flat earther, Trump enthusiast and know for a fact climate change isnt real.

There's no punchline, ive already told you the joke.

How did the mailman know the package was meant for the gelatin enthusiast?

The package was signed, congealed and delivered.

What do you call a house where a bear hunting enthusiast lives

A trap house

What do you get when you cross a fisherman with a jazz enthusiast?

An Anglo-Saxon ^^I'm ^^^So ^^^^Sorry

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Why is a horny walrus the same as a Tupperware enthusiast?

They're both looking for a tight seal

A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client and said to him, “Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news.”

The art collector replied, “I’ve had an awful day; let’s hear the good news first.”
The attorney said, “Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15-20 million. I think she could be right.”
Saul repli...

After years of digging, two gold rush enthusiasts finally found a small amount of the precious metal

It was a miner success

What do you call a Catholic Missionary who is also a car enthusiast?

A Catholitic Converter

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A bestiality enthusiast, an arson, a sadist, a necrophile, and a masochist are right outside a psych ward when a cat passes by.

The beastialty enthusiast says "let's fuck the cat," the arsonist says, "let's fuck the cat, then burn it," the sadist says, "let's fuck the cat, burn the cat, then kill it," then the necrophile says, "let's fuck the cat, burn the cat, kill the cat, then fuck it again," and finally the masochist say...

Why should you never trust a bdsm enthusiast when the game is on the line?

They enjoy getting beat when tied up!

For the bridge enthusiasts out there: I think my ex must have been a bottom supported bridge with a track running down the middle.

Cantilever alone without someone running a train on her.

Work in progress, needs fine tuning.

What do you call a fish who is very knowledgeable and enthusiastic about an activity, subject, or pastime?

An aficionado!

What did the middle eastern man say to his marijuana enthusiast wife?

Stoner!

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Two women friends went for a girl's night out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails...

Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee.

They were near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something.

The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them...

How does the enthusiastic chef serve his burgers?

With relish

I've just walked past our local community centre and I could clearly hear these board-game enthusiasts...

...all stood in the porchway bragging endlessly about their various tournament accomplishments.

You might think that sounds like it would have been pretty annoying for me, but infact...





I rather like the sound of chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.

On a scale of 1-10 how enthusiastically did Mitsubishi observe Pearl Harbor day?

Zero

Hey did you hear about the gathering of St Patricks Day enthusiasts who all contracted a contagious skin disease?

Yeah they’re calling it Leper-con.

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When I was an enthusiastic 25-year-old I was once chatting to an older woman in a bar...

...she must have been mid-40s if she was a day, but she had taken really good care of herself, she was dressed to kill, and she was confident, secure in herself, and knew what she wanted.

Anyway as the evening wore on it became clearer and clearer what was on both our minds, and towards closi...

A bus full of Elvis enthusiasts has crashed on their way to an Elvis convention.

Witnesses say no one was injured but they're all shook up.

I went out last night with a group of enthusiastic weavers.

Unfortunately they had to rush off to meet a looming deadline.

Did you hear the one about the American military aviation enthusiast who bought himself a French fighter plane?

He was arrested for possession of an Assault Rafale.

What was the name of the political committee that worked to protect the rights of wine enthusiasts?

The Bacchus Caucus

What do Classical Music enthusiasts have in common with Redditors responding to OP?

One comments about Yo-Yo Ma, the other about Yo Momma

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I don't understand my wife. She seemed enthusiastic when I suggested we make some homemade porn, then she throws a fuckin' fit…

…when I start auditioning women for her part.

scarlet johansson

There’s an airline crash in the Pacific. The only two survivors are a young man, Steve, and an unconscious young woman.

Steve finds the young woman clinging to a piece of debris. He tows her to a small, deserted atoll.

The young woman does not regain consciousness for a week. In the me...

Subscribers to Bread Enthusiast Monthly were upset when the July edition was all about flat bread. They said it was too big of a change from all the magazine's usual topics.

In actuality, it was a naan-issue.

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[NSFW] A doctor is giving a tour of a local hospital

One day a public health official goes to visit a local hospital. The doctor is giving them a tour around the hospital, bragging about what an outstanding reputation it has. He claims that they are the leading hospital in treating rare disorders and afflictions.

As the doctor and visitor pass ...

A guy and his date decide to go to Lovers Lane.

It’s their third date and the guy is really excited to take things to the next level, but they’re both clearly kind of shy about it. So after they park, he asks if she wants to make out. She agrees enthusiastically, and they start kissing.

After a little bit, he pauses and says “hey, do you w...

I have a friend whose an ophthalmologist, and he thinks I’m not so enthusiastic about the idea of him going into business for himself...

In my words. I said “Open up a store for all eye care.”

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A Panda Walks Into A Bar

A panda walks into a bar and looks around. the bartender greets him enthusiastically asking “what can I get you?”. The panda approaches the bar and orders a small meal. The meal arrives and the panda eats all of it. Once finished, the bartender asks him how the food was. to his surprise, the panda p...

Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?

They're enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.

Boris Jeltsin, Bill Clinton and Ernesto Zedillo in Paris pub.

Boris Jeltsin, Bill Clinton and Ernesto Zedillo are going to pub in Paris to have a drink.
The bartender greets them and asks: "L'aperitif?" All there are responding with enthusiastic "Oui!"
Bartender turns to Zedillo: "Le tequila?"
Zedillo: "Oui!"
Kelner turns to Jeltsin: "...

Never hit a man with eyeglasses

Use your fist instead.

>Enthusiastically told by my 6 year old brother, I thought it was worth sharing.

A huge crab walks into a bar...

...and says to the barman, "I demand one pint of lager. I will pay the full price, provided that the following criteria are met. The beer should be served to me within one minute of ordering, and at a temperature of between 6-9 degrees Celsius. The beer should be served in a clean, cold glass and a ...

Zoo gorilla

A gorilla, one of the local zoo's most popular animals, suddenly dies one day. The zoo owner is afraid of what this might do to ticket sales, so he devises a plan: He hires a man to put on a gorilla suit and pretend to be the late ape.

So it's the new recruit's first day on the job and he's ...

Two old men are sitting in the lounge chatting.

The one says,” You should try the restaurant my wife and I went to last night. Pricey but well worth the money.“

“Oh, what’s it called?” asks the other man enthusiastically.

His friend thinks for a minute,” Uhm…I…er…”

Obviously having a senior moment he says,” What’s that flower...

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A sex addict, an alcoholic and a pot head die and arrive at the gates of heaven.

Jesus is standing there looking at them sternly he says, " I stand at these gates to judge the souls that have passed on. If you do not deserve to enter heaven then you will be cast to the fire filled depths of hell where you will spend all eternity in agony."

The three sinners knowing the l...

OBGYN turns car mechanic (probably my favorite joke of all times)

A gynecologist was getting sick of his job and decided a career change was in order. Being an automotive enthusiast, he felt he should become a car mechanic.
He read and studied hard, and then came the day of the official exam.
Scores range between 40 and 100, where 60 is enough to pass the ex...

If you’re a furry, and get turned on by chickens

Are you a Hen-Thigh enthusiast?

What is a glass eye made of?

A caller on a radio quiz show is asked the first question: “What is a glass eye made of?”

“A glass eye?” she says. “Oh… I never really thought about that. I don’t know!”

The host tries to help her a little: “What do you *think* a *GLASS* eye may be made of?”

“I really have no i...

Lucky Break

A man was shocked to see his beautiful divorced neighbour knocking on his door one Friday evening.
.
"I'm feeling so lonely that I can't stand it." she said.
"I want to go out, get drunk & want to enjoy my life. Are you free tonight?"

"Yes!" he replied enthusiastically.
...

Vacuum Salesman

A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door of the First house on the street.

A tall lady answered the door.

Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman entered the living room, opened a big black plastic bag, and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet.

"Madam,...

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In 2017, Trump went to meet Vladimir Putin in Moscow

They had dinner at the Kremlin and sat down afterwards for drinks and cigars and to discuss business.


After a while Putin asks Trump "hey, you wanna see something?" and he rings a little bell that's sitting on the coffee table.


A beautiful blonde walks in to the room, kneels in...

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Little Johnny's teacher...

... was going over the week's vocabulary words and asked the class if anyone could use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence. Nobody raised their hand except Little Johnny.

"Anybody? Anyone at all?" she asked, ignoring Little Johnny who was enthusiastically waving his hand from the back of the...

One nun urgently needed a restroom...

so she went to a local bar. It was very noisy there, but when the visitors saw the nun, dead silence reigned. The woman approached the bartender and asked:
- Can I use the restroom?
The bartender replied:
- Of course, but I must warn you that there is a statue of a naked man, whose "ch...

A guy applies for a job with the Chicago Police Department

He has an impressive resume, gives the best answers to the interview questions, and is very enthusiastic about the job.

"Your qualifications are impressive" says the police chief. "Here's the final test. Take this gun, go out, and shoot ten black guys and a clown?"

The man asks, "why ...

A man goes to a job interview.

"Well, everything looks great," the employer said. "But I see here there was an 8 year gap since your last job. What happened there?"

"Oh, I went to yale," the man told him.

"Neat!" The employer responded enthusiastically. "You're hired! You start on Monday."

"Yay!" the man excl...

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Hillary Clinton was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation two weeks ago in upstate New York.

She spoke for almost an hour about her plans for increasing every Native American’s present standard of living. She referred to her time as a U.S. Senator and how she had voted for every Native American issue that came to the floor of the Senate.

 

Although Hillary was vague a...

School play

Little Johnny's dad picked him up from school to take him to a dental appointment.

Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part.

Johnny enthusiastically announced that he'd gotten a part. I play a man who's been married for...

I really hate the term "addict"

I prefer "drug enthusiast"

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A woman took her husband to the doctor.

"He can't talk, only sings!" she told him in some distress. "I can't communicate with him anymore!"

The doctor asked the husband, "Is this true? Are you only able to sing now?"

The husband looked at the doctor and burst out, "Well she's all you'd ever want, she's the kind I'd like to f...

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