For the bridge enthusiasts out there: I think my ex must have been a bottom supported bridge with a track running down the middle.

Cantilever alone without someone running a train on her.

Work in progress, needs fine tuning.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their tournament victories

After an hour, the manager came out and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

Sports Enthusiasts

I got hired by my local baseball team to keep the players cool in the locker room. It was a difficult job because I'm not a fan.

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A woman who is constantly embarrassed by her husband falling asleep in church goes to the priest to ask for help.

The priest says, "Look love, if he falls asleep again, poke him with this hat pin. I'll nod to you as a signal to poke him.". The woman agrees to the plan.

So Sunday rolls around and sure enough, good old Mr. Jones nods off again. The priest notices and asks, "Who is our savior?" then nods to...

I'm thinking of starting a group for barbecue chicken enthusiasts.

Hmu if you'd like to join the 'Cue Clucks Clan.

Train enthusiasts are called foamers...

So that must make boat enthusiasts Seafoamers.

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A man decides to go golfing one Sunday. He's in the clubhouse paying for 18 holes when a gorgeous blonde woman approaches him. "Hey, I noticed you're golfing alone," she said...

"I'm golfing alone too. Can I join you?"

The man enthusiastically agrees and they head to the course.

She's good. *Really* good, and beats the man's score by many strokes. The man is feeling self conscious for losing so soundly to a woman. The woman notices his change in mood and says,...

Apparently origami enthusiasts are bad at poker...

they're always folding.

I'll see myself out. lol

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Three men with stutters are in speech therapy

Three men with stutters go to see a (very attractive) speech therapist to help them with their stutters. However, after a few months, the therapy isn't going very well. So, the therapist thinks of a solution...

The next day, therapist says to three men, "Let's try something new," she says, "I...

How to tell if a person is a stock market trader or a cuckolding enthusiast?

Ask them the opposite of 'bull'.

My girlfriend said she wanted to try doggy style. Naturally I was enthusiastic.

Until she pulled out the strap on.

After years of digging, two gold rush enthusiasts finally found a small amount of the precious metal

It was a miner success

What do you call a group of vampire enthusiasts?

A fang club

OC joke: How to differentiate if a person is a genetics expert or a BDSM enthusiast?

Ask them the opposite of 'dominant'

It's fine to be enthusiastic about sailing...

Just don't go overboard

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A man was interviewing for a position with the CIA (Part 1)

He turns up to the interview and there are two other guys.

The first guy gets taken in for an interview and is asked: Who killed Jesus Christ? He replies "The Jews".

The second guy gets taken in and is asked the same thing, to which he replies "The Romans".

The third guy (our gu...

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What did the testicle torture enthusiast say after a long day?

Ahhh, time to hit the sack.

Just came home to find my mate slumped over the fruit bowl, fast asleep.

I was understandably confused by this, so awoke him and asked him what on earth had happened. Turns out he’d been out drinking and had chatted to a car enthusiast who told him he should watch 24 hours of Le Mans.

How do two German car enthusiast cowboys greet each other?

Audi, partner

My girlfriend left me and became a motorcycle enthusiast

I guess she prefers two strokes to one stroke

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What is the difference between erotic and kinky sex?

A sadist, a masochistic, a murderer, a necrophilic, a zoophilic and a pyromaniac sit in the garden of psychiatry and are terribly bored.

Once the zoophile sounds:
- What if we fucked a cat?

For this, the sadist:
-Yes, let's fuck him and then torture him well.

The mur...

A Lawyer, representing a wealthy art collector called him and said, "Paul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."

The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day; Let's hear the good news first." The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today and she informed me that she invested $1,500 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $10 to15million. And I think she could be right." Paul replied e...

A vegan, cyclist and climate change enthusiast walk into a bar.

Everyone else leaves

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A sex addict, an alcoholic and a pot head die and arrive at the gates of heaven.

Jesus is standing there looking at them sternly he says, " I stand at these gates to judge the souls that have passed on. If you do not deserve to enter heaven then you will be cast to the fire filled depths of hell where you will spend all eternity in agony."

The three sinners knowing the l...

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Oil well fire fighters

3 tycoons own an oil well that catches on fire. They try everything they can think of to put it out, to no avail. So they call Red Adair, the famous oil well fire fighter. He tells them he can put out the fire, but it will be 3 weeks before he can get there and will cost half a million dollars. ...

What do you call an SCP enthusiast?

[Redacted]

Hey did you hear about the gathering of St Patricks Day enthusiasts who all contracted a contagious skin disease?

Yeah they’re calling it Leper-con.

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A porn enthusiast, a carpenter, and Alexander the Great walk into a bar.

They came, they saw, they conquered.

A nun walks into a bar

The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while, the lights would go out. Each time this happened, the place would erupt into cheers.

However, when the patrons saw the nun, the room went dead silent.

She walked up to the bartender, and asked, “May I ple...

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A guy dies and suddenly finds himself in Hell...

He trepidatiously follows the crowd towards the Gates of Hell. He finds a demon holding a piece of cardboard with his name on it.

"Craig?," asks the demon as the man approaches.

"Y... yes," answers Craig, unsure of how to handle the situation.

"Hi. I'm Ed. I know what you're thi...

If you’re a furry, and get turned on by chickens

Are you a Hen-Thigh enthusiast?

What do you call a fish who is very knowledgeable and enthusiastic about an activity, subject, or pastime?

An aficionado!

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The Anticlimactic Lager (oj)

(*I just made up this joke, it takes a bit of patience but let me know if it's worth it. Either way, keep smiling!*)

Michael was a rich, eccentric and naive beer enthusiast. He journeyed around the world in search of rare lagers.

Once, on a trip to India, he came across a small bar. Be...

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When I was an enthusiastic 25-year-old I was once chatting to an older woman in a bar...

...she must have been mid-40s if she was a day, but she had taken really good care of herself, she was dressed to kill, and she was confident, secure in herself, and knew what she wanted.

Anyway as the evening wore on it became clearer and clearer what was on both our minds, and towards closi...

I am also a proud antivaxx mother, flat earther, Trump enthusiast and know for a fact climate change isnt real.

There's no punchline, ive already told you the joke.

I was busy talking to this guy who was a fake phone enthusiast

Turns out he was a big phoney

The village blacksmith hired an enthusiastic new apprentice

His new apprentice was willing to work long, hard hours.

One day he instructed the boy, “When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil. When I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer.”

The apprentice did exactly as he was told, and now he’s the new village blacksmith.

What do you call the job title of a firearms enthusiast and speechwriter?

A glockenspiel.

The Pope and the Police

Once, while travelling, the pope was bored.
He turned to the chauffeur and said "Why don't you let me have a go? I've never driven before, it looks fun!"

The chauffeur was not overly enthusiastic but he reluctantly swapped places.
The pope started enjoying himself, and decided to find o...

I started a group for anonymous cycling enthusiasts.

But so far the members who’ve joined Pedalphiles seem to know nothing about bicycles in general.

I've just walked past our local community centre and I could clearly hear these board-game enthusiasts...

...all stood in the porchway bragging endlessly about their various tournament accomplishments.

You might think that sounds like it would have been pretty annoying for me, but infact...





I rather like the sound of chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.

An ant colony enthusiast goes to a convention

His pride and joy is a colony of giant Amazonian ants, *Dinoponera gigantea,* which he brings along with him to present. But when he gets to the door of the convention hall, he's stopped by one of the organizers, who points to a sign on the wall. It says "all ants must not be more than 1 cm in total...

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A Panda Walks Into A Bar

A panda walks into a bar and looks around. the bartender greets him enthusiastically asking “what can I get you?”. The panda approaches the bar and orders a small meal. The meal arrives and the panda eats all of it. Once finished, the bartender asks him how the food was. to his surprise, the panda p...

Time Stands Still for Enthusiast PC Owners...

They are so over clocks!

What do bondage enthusiasts use to do their laundry?

Tied pods.

Why are scuba enthusiasts so fond of chocolate?

Because they're Godivas

Why are rappers so enthusiastic about their stage names?

I guess they’re a lil’ something to be proud of.

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I don't understand my wife. She seemed enthusiastic when I suggested we make some homemade porn, then she throws a fuckin' fit…

…when I start auditioning women for her part.

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A bestiality enthusiast, an arson, a sadist, a necrophile, and a masochist are right outside a psych ward when a cat passes by.

The beastialty enthusiast says "let's fuck the cat," the arsonist says, "let's fuck the cat, then burn it," the sadist says, "let's fuck the cat, burn the cat, then kill it," then the necrophile says, "let's fuck the cat, burn the cat, kill the cat, then fuck it again," and finally the masochist say...

What was the name of the political committee that worked to protect the rights of wine enthusiasts?

The Bacchus Caucus

As an intolerant dyslexic sports enthusiast...

I really hate all transrefs coming between seasons in college football.

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My Jewish girlfriend wasn't too enthusiastic about anal ..

Until I showed her how much we can save on condoms ...

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Two women friends went for a girl's night out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails...

Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee.

They were near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something.

The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them...

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A vegan, an atheist, and a CrossFit enthusiast walk into a bar.

I only know because they wouldn't shut the fuck up about it.

A bus full of Elvis enthusiasts has crashed on their way to an Elvis convention.

Witnesses say no one was injured but they're all shook up.

How does the enthusiastic man eat his hot dog?

With relish.

I have a friend whose an ophthalmologist, and he thinks I’m not so enthusiastic about the idea of him going into business for himself...

In my words. I said “Open up a store for all eye care.”

What did the busy BDSM enthusiast say to avoid coming into work?

"Sorry, my hands are tied!" ^^im ^^^so ^^^^sorry

A tractor enthusiast

A tractor enthusiast from the country decides to leave his farm and assortment of tractors for a life in the city. He gets a job in a fancy high rise building. One day, the floor he works on catches fire. With one breath the man sucks up all the smoke and flames and blows it out the window. When all...

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Dance

A guy lost an eye and all he could afford was a wooden carved replacement. Needless to say, he was very self-conscious about it. Once a friend convinced him to go to a dance. He stood around the edge of the dance floor for a long time and spotted a nice looking lady with an artificial leg. Muste...

An aviation enthusiast enters a bar.

He asks, "Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?" The bartender laughs and says, "Sorry, we only have plain chips."

What do you get when you cross a fisherman with a jazz enthusiast?

An Anglo-Saxon ^^I'm ^^^So ^^^^Sorry

Worlds biggest tractor enthusiast...

A man spends his life collecting memorabilia, merchandise and every other trinket to do with tractors. He works in a tractor shop, has tractor dreams and spends every moment of his free time working on his very own tractor.
One day however, he realises that he needs more, so he turns his life ar...

What do you call a house where a bear hunting enthusiast lives

A trap house

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A panda walks into a bar...

The bartender greets him enthusiastically and says:

« Hey how’s it going? I’ve never had a panda in here before! What can I get you? »

The panda orders a small meal and waits at a table. After a few minutes, the bartender arrives and brings him his food.
The panda eats it and the b...

What do you call a Catholic Missionary who is also a car enthusiast?

A Catholitic Converter

Did you hear the one about the American military aviation enthusiast who bought himself a French fighter plane?

He was arrested for possession of an Assault Rafale.

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72 virgins say hi

Get in here doofus! The Reddit Enthusiasts Meetup is about to start!

73 virgins sit down.

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Why is a horny walrus the same as a Tupperware enthusiast?

They're both looking for a tight seal

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A man and a woman were dating. She, being of a religious nature, had held back the worldly pleasure that he wanted from her so badly. In fact, he had never even seen her naked.

One day, as they slowly drove down the freeway, she remarked about his slow driving habits. "I can't stand it anymore," she told him. "Let's play a game. For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit [60 MPH] you drive, I'll remove one piece of clothing."

He enthusiastically agreed and sped...

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A newlywed bride and groom were about to commence their honeymoon activities

when the bride became annoyed at the groom’s overly enthusiastic advances. “Have some manners like you do at the dinner table!” she scolded. The groom stopped his pawing, sat up straight, straightened his hair, buttoned and smoothed his pajamas. “Good evening madam” said the groom. “You look very lo...

Two old men are sitting in the lounge chatting.

The one says,” You should try the restaurant my wife and I went to last night. Pricey but well worth the money.“

“Oh, what’s it called?” asks the other man enthusiastically.

His friend thinks for a minute,” Uhm…I…er…”

Obviously having a senior moment he says,” What’s that flower...

Why should you never trust a bdsm enthusiast when the game is on the line?

They enjoy getting beat when tied up!

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A man walks into a bar and orders a Jack and Coke.

The bartender reaches behind the bar and grabs a dark red apple, and hands it to the customer.

Dumbfounded, he says “Hey man, what the hell is this? I asked for a Jack and coke!”

The bartender said “Just go a head and take a bite.”

So the man took a bite and his eyes widened “W...

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The Jazz Pianist

An Michelin star restaurant is looking for a pianist to entertain customers while they dine. The owner has been auditioning for weeks, but has had no luck finding someone suitable. One day, a guy called John comes in and says "Hi there, I'm here about the pianist position."

The manager repli...

A Banjo enthusiasts joke

Johnny proudly drove his new VW Beetle convertible into town and had his shiny banjo nestling in the back seat. He had walked half way around the block from the parked car when he realised that the sunny weather had prompted him to leave the hood down... with his banjo in the back.

He ran all...

At first, I was merely a stock trading enthusiast…

…but now I'm fully invested.

Join in on a Pun Thread

Hello Pun enthusiasts,

Comment a subject and let fellow redditors make puns about that subject

What did the middle eastern man say to his marijuana enthusiast wife?

Stoner!

How does the enthusiastic chef serve his burgers?

With relish

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A couples therapist believes the amount of sex you have is directly related to happiness, so he decides to test his theory at his next seminar.

He addresses the crowd in attendance and asks "How many couples here tonight have sex once a day?"

To the therapists delight, about half of the crowd raise their hands with wide, toothy grins across their faces.

The therapist then asks "How many have sex once a week?"

Roughly a ...

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Two strangers, a man and a woman, are sharing a sleeper cab on an overnight train

At around midnight, as they are both trying to fall asleep, the man says to the woman:

"Excuse me ma'am, but it's really cold, would you mind passing me one of the extra blankets on the table beside you?"

The woman answers:

"I'll tell you what, I'm also feeling really cold, for ...

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[NSFW] A doctor is giving a tour of a local hospital

One day a public health official goes to visit a local hospital. The doctor is giving them a tour around the hospital, bragging about what an outstanding reputation it has. He claims that they are the leading hospital in treating rare disorders and afflictions.

As the doctor and visitor pass ...

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The Bicycle: "A teaching moment"

A Priest was about to finish his ten-year tour of missionary duty and was leaving his Mission in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives about the Bible and Christian values, in their own language, when he realizes that the one thing he never really taught them was how to speak Engl...

I went out last night with a group of enthusiastic weavers.

Unfortunately they had to rush off to meet a looming deadline.

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A third grade teacher assigns her students homework

They are to ask their parents for a story with a moral and share it the next day.
The next day the teacher calls on little Peggy-Sue. Peggy-Sue stands and says “My daddy told me about the chickens that we raise for slaughter. One day we bought 12 eggs and only 9 of them hatched. The moral of the...

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A celebate man was about to get married...

He had been "saving himself" for marriage, and had never watched pornography or had any remotely sexual encounters. He was incredibly nervous about being able to perform on his wedding night, and went to his best man to talk about it.

His best man tried to give him a pep talk, but ultimately...

Little Jack's neighbors have a newborn baby..

Little Jack's neighbors have a newborn baby but unfortunately he was born without ears.

When Jack's family is invited to the neighbors to see the child, Jack's father takes him aside and explains:

\- This child is their greatest joy and they wanted him for a long time! Do not say anyt...

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A sixty-year-old couple was celebrating forty years of marriage...

A sixty-year-old couple was celebrating forty years of marriage when a fairy godmother appeared and told them that she granted each one a wish. The wife immediately and enthusiastically said that she would like to take a trip around the world with her husband. In her hands came plane tickets and boo...

A man is jogging through the woods.

He comes up on a clearing where he sees a figure and as he gets closer, he realizes it is a seriously ugly witch. On her right shoulder sits an equally ugly crow.

When he is about to run past her, the witch immediately addresses him: “If you can correctly name the animal on my shoulder, you c...

Back Alley Memories

I was reminded me of an old joke from another Reddit post:
A very elderly couple is seated at a table in a bar. The woman looks over to the man, holding his hand and says, "Do you remember meeting me for the first time right here 50 years ago?"
The husband replies, "Yes dear."
The wi...

There was a contest on who had the most children...

Contestant #1 walked out on the stage with 12 children behind him. The audience clapped politely, and one of the judges commented "That's a lot of kids, but you can do better."

Contestant #2 walked out on the stage, bringing with him 24 children, all of different ages. The audience clapped mo...

A man and a woman hailed the same cab at the exact same time…

“Pardon me,” said the man. “You go ahead. I’m only going to the restaurant row. I’ll grab the next one.”

“Restaurant row?” the woman responded. “What a crazy coincidence! That’s where I’m headed as well. Maybe we can split the fare?”

“Oh, no thanks. I’m going to this little hole-in-the...

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Guy gets sent to prison for white-collar crime...

Guy gets sent to prison for white collar crime. It's his first sentence, so he decides to play it low key. His cellmate helpfully suggests if he has any questions he can just ask.

A month later, he says, "You know, I think I have the basic feel for the place, people to avoid, the guards...

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A mathematician and a physicist...

... are invited to participate in a psychological experiment.

The first one is the mathematician.

He is guided into a room where his wife sits on a chair, only wearing lingerie, looking at him with lust and desire. The surprised mathematician is placed on a chair a few meters away.
...

I decided to teach karate to my neighbors kid for his self-defense

He was enthusiastic for the first two days but then quit before he could finish painting the fence.

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Ralph, the department store parrot

During its hayday, Goldfinches was a glorious department store, with gorgeous decorations, including a Aviary centerpiece, where Ralph held court. You see, Ralph had a special ability to detect what people wanted by their appearance, and he would tell them where to look for the thing they needed....

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