I had the joy of meeting a couple of hipsters today, and they yelled at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term is "conjoined twins".
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He ate his food before it was cool.
How do You Drown a Hipster?
Throw him into the mainstream.
Why is the hipster sweating?
Because he wore a scarf before it was cool.
How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Honestly, it's a pretty obscure number. I doubt you've ever heard of it.
Why did the hipster drown?
He went ice skating before it was cool.
What's the worst thing to say to a hipster?
You remind me of someone
How did the hipster burn his lips?
He drank black coffee before it was cool.
Did y'all hear about the group of hipsters who drowned at the pond?
Turns out they were ice skating before it was cool
How did the Hawaiian hipster die?
He walked on lava before it was cool.
What do you call a hipster wearing headphones?
Anything you like, he can't hear you
Why did the hipster shave off his beard?
To keep cool during the summer…
How did the hipster burn his fingertips?
He was changing the lightbulb before it was cool.
[rimshot]
Why did the hipster decline surgery?
The anesthetic wasn’t local
How much does a hipster weigh?
An instagram
I'm an environmental hipster
I believed in global warming before it was co... nevermind.
Why do hipsters love Raiders of the Lost Ark?
Because it's the first Indy movie.
Why are monsters hipsters?
Because they've been coming out of the closet since before it was cool.
I farted in a room full of hipsters.
They spent two hours arguing who heard it first.
Why don’t hipsters like the Mississippi River?
It’s to mainstream
You know you're a hipster when...
You iron your non-iron shirts just to be ironic.
Did you hear about the depressed hipster?
They found him in his garage, with a hose in his drivers side window, leading to the charging port of his Tesla.
Why do hipsters always burn their mouths?
They eat their food before it gets cool!
A Hipster and a Duck
Part 1. A hipster walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender goes “Hey, where did you get that?” The duck goes “In Brooklyn, there’s thousands of them!”
Part 2 A hipster walks into a Brooklyn bar with a duck on his head. The bartender asks “What can I do for you?” The...
How do you make a hipster come?
Give them a second-handjob
What did the hipster say about the Chilean miners?
I liked them so much better when they were underground.
Why do Hipsters keep drowning while iceskating?
Because they did it before it was cool
How did the hipster refuse a romantic engagement?
He said he was bespoken for
What's a hipster's favorite kind of cigarette?
Yours.
You’re so hipster...
You’re so hipster you thought IHOP was an internet brewery.
Hipster Jokes!
Why did the hipster float down the tributary?
Because the river was too mainstream.
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Some obscure number you've never heard of.
Why did the hipster burn his mouth when he ate pizza?
Because he ate it be...
The hipster burnt her tongue
she sipped her coffee before it was cool
*By: my lovely sister :D*
Hipsters are like racists
No one admits to being one
PSA: the term “Hipsters” is politically incorrect and is considered an offensive slur in many circles
Please use the medically-recommended term “conjoined twins” instead.
what's the best place to drown a hipster?
in the main stream
My hipster friend drowned...
He tried to walk across the ice before it was cool.
I threw a hipster into the Mississippi...
Guess whose mainstream now?
How heavy is a hipster?
One thousand instagrams
Why did the hipster's stomach hurt?
He had indie-gestion.
I guess I’m a hipster.
I’ve been self-isolating for years already!
Why do hipsters only use the microwave?
They don’t like conventional ovens.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
How did the hipster burn his rectum?
He put a light bulb in his butt before it was cool.
Why are so many hipsters sweaty?
They put on their winter coats before it's cool.
Ever notice you never see any necrophiliac hipsters?
Must be too hard to screw em before they're cool.
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