Authorities close investigation on the group of hipsters found dead in a pond last week.
Turns out they were ice skating before it was cool.
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate pizza before it was cool.
You know you're a hipster when...
You iron your non-iron shirts just to be ironic.
How do you drown a hipster?
Throw him in the mainstream.
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He ate potatoes before they were cool.
Why was he eating potatoes?
Because they’re so underground.
How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?
It's a really obscure number, you've probably never heard of it.
I angered two people by calling them hipsters...
Apparently the correct term is conjoined twins.
Your parents are hipsters
They loved you before you were cool
A Hipster and a Duck
Part 1. A hipster walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender goes “Hey, where did you get that?” The duck goes “In Brooklyn, there’s thousands of them!”
Part 2 A hipster walks into a Brooklyn bar with a duck on his head. The bartender asks “What can I do for you?” The...
How much does a hipster weigh?
You’re so hipster...
You’re so hipster you thought IHOP was an internet brewery.
How do you make a hipster come?
Give them a second-handjob
Why do hipsters only use the microwave?
They don’t like conventional ovens.
Ever notice you never see any necrophiliac hipsters?
Must be too hard to screw em before they're cool.
What did the snowman say to the hipster?
Man, I thought I was white
Why do Hipsters keep drowning while iceskating?
Because they did it before it was cool
Why don't hipsters drink iced tea?
Because they drank tea before it was cool.
Why is the hipster sweating?
Because he wore a scarf before it was cool.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
How did the hipster burn his rectum?
He put a light bulb in his butt before it was cool.
Hipsters are like racists
No one admits to being one
So there's a new strain of Coronavirus that effects Hipsters...
You probably haven't heard of it.
What's the worst thing to say to a hipster?
You remind me of someone
What does a Reddit mod and a hipster have in common?
Mods self-isolated before it was cool.
I farted in a room full of hipsters.
They spent two hours arguing who heard it first.
I threw a hipster into the Mississippi...
Guess whose mainstream now?
I guess I’m a hipster.
I’ve been self-isolating for years already!
The hipster burnt her tongue
she sipped her coffee before it was cool
*By: my lovely sister :D*
Why was the hipster's bowtie wrinkled?
Cuz he wore it unironically.
Why was the hipster fish late to the party?
Because he didn’t take the mainstream.
Why did the hipster empty water from an ice cube tray into his drink?
He liked ice before it was cool
Why did the hipster's stomach hurt?
He had indie-gestion.
What did the hipster say the day after Thanksgiving?
I liked the leftovers before they were cool.
What did the hipster say about the Chilean miners?
I liked them so much better when they were underground.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I tried to set up my hipster friend with this awesome guy. He’s rebellious, has dope beard and long wavy hair, hangs around with quirky outcasts, hikes, doesn’t want to own useless crap and knows all the coolest party tricks.
Yeah. Turning hipster girls into Christianity is surprisingly easy.
The latest hipster music craze plays songs at a frequency of 50000 Hz.
You probably never heard of it.
Most Hipsters’ favourite movie is Raiders of the Lost Ark.
It’s the first indie film.
How do you know if someone is a vegan hipster with an iphone that vapes?
Don't worry, they'll tell you.
i accidentally drove on a hipsters feet...
...now he is a hopster.
Did you hear about the hipster youth pastor creating a new Christian sect combining elements of Protestant and Baptist beliefs?
He's a Pabst-ist.
Edited to help /u/visualshocker get the joke
Why are monsters hipsters?
Because they've been coming out of the closet since before it was cool.
i shot a hipster in the knee
now he's a hopster.
(Sorry, german Joke.. i tried my best to translate it so it still makes sense)
what's the best place to drown a hipster?
in the main stream
What’s the difference between a hipster and a necrophile?
Hipsters won’t get into anything once it’s cool.
Why do hipsters enjoy prison?
Because there are solid bars everywhere.
I was talking to a hipster when he asked me my favorite underground artist.
I replied Whitney Houston